


A rose by any other name ... (Complete)

by dragontreasure26



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Complete, M/M, Mpreg, Swearing, past misscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 65,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragontreasure26/pseuds/dragontreasure26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack agrees to go ahead with an unplanned pregnancy on the understanding that Ianto leaves Torchwood with the child after it is born but will he really be able to say goodbye?<br/>This work is now complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jack hadn’t felt at all well that day and the sight of the disfigured weevil corpse was too much for him. It wasn’t the first one they’d come across that week - something was clearly hunting the weevils and feeding from them. However, so far it had been only been Gwen and Owen dealing with them whilst Jack, Ianto and Tosh had been working on a separate case. Today Jack had wrapped up his case and so decided to help out Owen and Gwen’s investigation – now he was beginning to regret that decision.

 

‘Definitely a weevil.’ Owen said examining the corpse. ‘You wouldn’t know it though would you? The flesh has just been eaten away.’ he muttered under his breath.

 

Jack swallowed hard feeling his stomach churn as his eyes roamed over the marred flesh; he suddenly realised that Tosh and Owen were staring at him waiting for him to instruct them on what to do next. Jack was about to say something, but as he opened his mouth to speak bile rose up from the pit of his stomach.

 

‘Jack?’ Tosh asked glancing up at the enigmatic Captain worriedly. ‘Are you okay?’ she frowned as Jack’s face went from flushed red to ghostly white with a tinge of green within seconds.

 

Jack nodded slightly, but then quickly dashed out of the tent that had been set up by the police to hide the body from prying public eyes. Tosh and Owen glanced at each other and frowned before following Jack. Heading out of the tent, they watched as Jack ran over to the railings, leant over and threw up into the choppy sea below.

 

Tosh ran over as Jack straightened up wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his military coat. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked worriedly.

 

Jack nodded but feeling a little weak at the knees he gripped the railing for support. ‘M’fine.’ he mumbled.

 

Owen studied him and wasn't convinced. ‘No offence, but you look like shit mate.’ he commented.

 

‘Thanks.’ Jack growled glaring up at him defensively.

 

Tosh placed her hand on Jack’s forehead. ‘You’re very warm, maybe you have a bug or something?’ she suggested.

 

‘I don’t get bugs.’ Jack muttered. ‘I fine I just -’ he paused, turned back around and threw up over the railings once more.

 

Tosh turned away as the sight, smell and even sound of something being sick always made herself feel queasy. Owen, who was used to dealing with this kind of thing, rubbed Jack’s back. ‘Get it all out mate ... that’s it ...’ he soothed rather warmly for someone of his usual grumpy nature.

 

‘I think I’m okay now.’ Jack said straightening up.

 

‘Look I know you don’t usually get sick so maybe I should check you over when I get back to the hub?’ Owen suggested.

 

‘No - no it’s fine.’ Jack said shaking his head quickly. ‘Do me a favour though, go and deal with the weevil body? I don’t think I can face it.’ he grumbled.

 

‘Okay, well you stay out here in the fresh air.’ Owen instructed. ‘Come on Tosh.’ he said heading back over to the tent.

 

Jack wrapped his coat around him and leant against the railings; truth be told he was a little concerned – he never got ill and unbeknownst to Owen and the rest of the team this wasn’t the first time he’d thrown up that week. Only one thought crossed Jack’s mind, but he quickly dismissed it – there was no way he could be pregnant he told himself.

 

Jack closed his eyes and held back the tears as he thought back to the premature birth of his first and only child – a girl he’d named Freya after his mother. She’d been only a few pounds in weight and stillborn. Tears slipped out from under Jack’s closed eyelids but didn’t bother to wipe them away even when they reached his lips and seeped into his mouth. Jack swallowed down the salty tears and thought about Freya, how beautiful she was and how hard it had been to part with her. 

 

It had happened three years ago in his timeline, but only two in his team mate's. He'd fallen pregnant just a few weeks after returning from the year that never was; Jack knew that Ianto was the father since he was the only person he'd been with anywhere remotely close to the time of her conception, but had never told him he pregnant or that he’d lost their daughter. The only person that knew about his pregnancy was the Doctor; when Jack had experienced problems during his first trimester he’d instantly called upon the Doctor who’d landed the TARDIS in his office in the middle of the night. Jack had left Ianto asleep, slipped out of bed and had gone with him. They’d gone to a hospital in the 51st Century where male pregnancies were the norm. Jack soon learned that his time with the Master had affected his body badly and even with his immortality he was still recovering. The baby was struggling because of this and Jack was told that he would have to remain in the hospital under constant monitoring; this didn't bother him as all he cared about was the safety of his child. However, things did not improve and late into his second trimester during a perfectly routine check up Jack was given the devastating news that they could not detect his babies heartbeat. 

 

After burying Freya on Boshane, Jack remained with the Doctor for a long time and wasn't sure if he'd ever return to Torchwood. However, the day eventually came that he was ready to go back. Overall, he had been gone for just over a year, but had arrived back only a few hours after leaving. Jack had slipped back into bed beside Ianto just like he'd never left and the rest of Torchwood team were completely unaware that when they entered the hub the next morning that Jack had been gone for a year and was still grieving the loss of a child. That was the day the Sleeper Agents had arrived on Earth and Jack had been very grumpy much to the annoyance of his ignorant team.

 

Jack had never told Ianto about Freya, of course he'd always planned to - Ianto was her father after all, but he left it too late. When he was in hospital the Doctor had offered to fetch Ianto, but Jack had declined. They'd been sleeping together but he'd refused to define their relationship. Jack knew there was more to it than just sex but admitting it was a scary prospect. As far as Jack was concerned Ianto was better off not knowing about Freya, there was nothing he could do and he didn't want to cause him any unnecessary pain.  Their sexual relationship resumed shortly after Jack's return, but ever since Jack had been taking a drug on the rare occasion that he’d let Ianto top to prevent himself from falling pregnant again.  

 

Jack leant against the railings and watched as the waves crashed up against the wall below him; he racked his brains trying to think of a time when he’d forgotten to take the drug but nothing came to mind. Jack sighed – he didn’t know for sure, so he decided not to worry too much at the moment - perhaps he did have a bug after all he tried to kid himself.

 

A short while later Owen and Tosh headed back out of the tent carrying a body bag between them. Jack watched as they placed the body into the back of the SUV before heading over to join them. ‘You drive back Owen.’ he said handing him the keys.

 

Owen nodded, climbed into the SUV and quickly started the engine. Jack climbed into the passenger seat; he leant against the door frame and closed his eyes as the sight of the trees, buildings and cars flying by as they drove were too much for him to take in. When they reached the Hub 20 minutes later Jack still wasn’t feeling right, he climbed out of the SUV and headed straight for his office closing the door and drawing the blinds behind him. Jack sat down at his desk and tried to concentrate on the paperwork that Ianto had left in neat piles for him, but found it difficult as he kept feeling incredibly hot one moment and then cold the next. 

 

There was a loud knock at his office door a short while later. ‘Come in.’ Jack called a little thankful to be distracted from the paperwork.

 

Owen entered the room. ‘Check over now Harkness.’ he demanded clearly not prepared to take no for an answer.

 

‘Owen I said I’m fine.’ Jack whined as he rubbed his temples; he’d made his mind up that if the symptoms persisted he’d call the Doctor.

 

‘Jack Harkness a bullet in the head doesn’t stop you and you certainly never get ill.’ Owen said firmly. ‘What if this is some sort of alien bug and it infects one of us?’ he asked. ‘For the sake of your team you should let me give you a once over.’

 

‘Guilt tripping me now are you?’ Jack sighed.

 

‘Yes.’ Owen replied truthfully. ‘So autopsy bay - five minutes – no excuses.’

 

‘Yeah yeah alright.’ Jack sighed sending Owen away with a bat of his hand – once Owen had a bee in his bonnet about something there was no stopping him so Jack knew in the long run it was better if he just got it over with. If he was pregnant they'd find out soon enough anyway.

 

Jack finished reading through the paperwork in his hand and signed it; he then got up, slid off his coat and hung it over the back of his chair. Jack headed out of the office nearly bumping into Ianto who was just about to enter.

 

‘Sorry.’ Ianto said quickly. ‘I was bringing you coffee.’ he explained.

 

‘Leave it on my desk I’ll be back in a minute.’ Jack said trying not to think about that morning when he’d had the young receptionist against one of the filing cabinets in the archives. Ianto nodded slightly and headed into the office, his face flushed red. Jack watched him remembering how his fingers clawed at his back, how tight and hot his willing body felt as he had his way with him and how he cried his name along with a string of Welsh as he came hard gasping and panting deliciously. Jack shook the distracting thoughts from his head and headed down the autopsy bay. 

 

Jack found Gwen sitting next to Tosh both with their legs dangling down into the autopsy bay and their arms resting on the railings. ‘Got an audience have I?’ he asked.

 

‘Any chance to see you without a shirt on.’ Gwen replied with a wink.

 

Jack just rolled his eyes at her. ‘I don’t have to take my shirt off do I?’ he asked Owen.

 

‘Full examination requires it I’m afraid.’ Owen replied. ‘I can send the girls away if you like?’ he offered.

 

‘No let them have their fun.’ Jack replied sliding off his braces. ‘I was once naked on TV in front of millions of viewers did you know that?’ he asked with a cheeky grin.

 

‘What?! When?’ Gwen asked intrigued.

 

‘Oh that’s a long way in the future now.’ Jack smiled. ‘I certainly improved their viewing figures.’ he added with a wink.

 

Ianto headed into the autopsy bay. ‘This is where you all are, what’s going on?’ he asked. ‘I was about to order lunch.’

 

‘Come and stay for the show.’ Gwen laughed. ‘Jack’s getting the full Owen Harper experience.’

 

‘Are you sick or something?’ Ianto asked unable to completely mask his concern from his team mates.

 

Jack noticed this and smiled back reassuringly, Ianto answered with a silent nod. The two of them had to make use of silent communication such as this so they convey things to each other without any of the team listening in and making assumptions. Tosh already knew they were sleeping together and both Jack and Ianto wanted to make sure that Gwen and Owen didn't find out. Gwen would most probably be upset and jealous and Owen would mock them. They were confused enough about their feelings for each other without their added input.

 

They’d been sleeping together for a long time now - years in fact. When it had started it was never particularly intimate and as soon as it was over Ianto would pull his clothes on as quick as he could and leave barely saying a word to him. Jack had dismissed the idea that Ianto could be harbouring secret feelings for him – their past was just too complicated to allow for that, but lately things had changed. Often Ianto stayed with him the whole night through, in fact Jack couldn't even remember the last time Ianto hadn't slept beside him. Of course, they both still kept a lot of their feelings to themselves and so neither really knew where they stood. Jack himself, didn't want to bring up the subject because he was afraid of admitting how attached he'd become to his Welshman. If he admitted that, he'd have to face up to the reality that one day he'd lose him. Ianto certainly didn't want to scare Jack away and so was resolved to be happy with things how they were.

 

‘He hurled into the Bristol Channel twice this afternoon.’ Tosh told Ianto.

 

Ianto's eyebrows rose slightly but he did not say anything; he leant against the wall his eyes resting on Jack's momentarily before he averted them.

 

‘Come on Harkness I haven’t got all day.’ Owen sighed impatiently.

 

Jack pulled off his shirt and then under-shirt fully aware of four sets of eyes on him.

 

‘Who got lucky then?!’ Gwen laughed noticing the dark purple bruise of the love bite at the juncture between his neck and shoulder. ‘Dating a vampire are we?’ she smirked.

 

Jack’s eyes met Ianto’s who blushed and quickly looked away - he couldn't believe in the heat of their passion that morning he’d marked Jack strong enough for it to still be visible hours later on the immortal's skin.

 

‘Owen just get on with it.’ Jack snapped ignoring Gwen’s comment.

 

\---

 

Half an hour later Owen had completed his tests, half of which Jack didn’t feel were absolutely necessary. ‘Okay heart rate and bloods appear normal.’ Owen said checking the results he’d printed out. ‘Weight is slightly up though, cut back on all those doughnuts eh?’ he teased.

 

Jack swallowed hard knowing full well that his weight gain wasn’t due to his eating habits. ‘See there is nothing wrong with me, are we done?’ Jack asked impatiently, he needed to brush them off quickly and contact the Doctor as soon as he could. ‘My coffee is going to be stone cold now.’ he added.

 

‘One more test.’ Owen said wheeling a piece of kit toward him. ‘Just to make sure.’

 

‘What is it?’ Jack sighed.

 

‘Place your hand here.’ Owen instructed and he pressed a few buttons on the device. ‘Don’t worry it’s just an internal body scan.’ he told him.

 

‘Why are you doing that?’ Jack asked slightly alarmed.

 

‘Just to make completely sure.’ Owen replied. ‘I don’t want any of us getting an alien disease and dying because of you.’ he explained.

 

‘I do not have an alien disease.’ Jack snapped irritably. ‘I told you I’m fine.’

 

Owen ignored him and ran the scan anyway. Gwen, Tosh, Owen and Ianto all glanced up at the large projection on the autopsy bay wall. ‘Wow, so that’s Jack on the inside?’ Tosh said amazed by the exquisite detail on the screen, it was almost like Owen had sliced open Jack’s chest and peeled back the skin.

 

‘Sure is.’ Owen replied. ‘Look there is his heart, lungs, liver, stomach and -’ he stopped abruptly and studied the image with a frown. ‘What’s that?’ he asked zooming in to get a closer image of  Jack’s lower abdomen. ‘Bloody hell its living tissue, you’ve got some sort of parasite growing inside of you Jack!’ he exclaimed.

 

Jack stared at the screen. ‘No it can’t be .... it can’t ...’ he mumbled knowing full well that it was a baby he was carrying.

 

‘I have to get it out of you who knows what damage it could be doing to you.’ Owen said. ‘Tosh where’s the singularity scalpel?’ he asked.

 

‘I don’t know you were playing with it yesterday.’ Tosh  said getting up. ‘I’ll check your desk.’

 

‘Wait a minute!’ Jack said removing his hand from the device and backing away. ‘What do you want that for?’ he asked his hands placed on his stomach, unconsciously protective of his unborn child.

 

‘To get rid of the parasite Jack, God knows what it could be doing to you.’ Owen explained.

 

Jack shook his head as a protective instinct washed over him. ‘You can’t just decide to get rid of it - that’s for me to decide.’ he told him.

 

‘Jack!’ Owen cried.

 

‘It’s my baby Owen!’ Jack shouted back without really registering what he'd said.

 

The team all stopped in their tracks and turned back to Jack all looking equally as stunned. ‘Excuse me?’ Tosh asked breaking the silence while Gwen, Ianto and Owen just stared at him.  
  
Owen suddenly paled, grabbed Jack’s hand and slammed it back down on the machine.  ‘How could I be so blind?’ he muttered under his breath as he studied the internal body scan.

 

‘Owen what are you talking about?’ Gwen asked.

 

‘That’s a womb.’ Owen said zooming in. ‘Jack you have a womb?’ he asked.

 

‘I know that.’ Jack snapped. ‘All 51st century men do.’

 

‘Jack you’re three months gone!’ Owen exclaimed.

 

Jack sat down in complete shock. ‘Three months?’ he asked. ‘Three months?’ he repeated shaking his head. How could he be? How could he have not known? 

 

Owen fiddled with a few dials on the machine and the autopsy bay was suddenly filled with the sound of steady rhythmic pulse. ‘That’s your baby’s heart beat Jack.’ he told him scarcely able to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

 

At the sound of these words and the rhythmic pulsing in his ears Ianto bolted from the autopsy bay, but this went un-noticed by everyone else who were too fixated on Jack.

 

Jack stared up at the screen in complete shock.  ‘My ... ?’ he asked.

 

‘Your baby.’ Owen confirmed with a nod. ‘You’re pregnant Jack.’

 

‘Pregnant?’ Jack said his eyes swivelling to rest on Owen’s, ‘but I can’t be ... I took the drugs they gave me after last time. I just can’t be.’

 

‘You are.’ Owen replied quickly flapping his hand at Gwen to quieten her – he knew she was about to ask Jack what he meant by “last time” but that was something they could deal with later.  ‘I can even tell you the sex if you want?’ he offered. Jack didn’t know what to think at that moment, but he nodded his head. ‘It’s a girl.’ Owen smiled. ‘You’re going to have a daughter.’

 

Jack suddenly burst into tears, he knew it – he knew it would be a girl just like Freya had been. Was this baby destined to die just like she had? he thought miserably.

 

‘Jack?’ Tosh cried heading down the steps. ‘Jack are you okay?’ she asked tentatively.  Jack curled up in a ball in the chair and sobbed the memories of what had happened all those years ago suddenly filling his head. The team all looked at each other none of them had ever seen Jack cry before and it scared them. Tosh knelt down in front of Jack and took his hand. ‘It’s okay Jack, we’re all here for you whatever you decide to do we’re behind you.’

 

Jack nodded slightly. ‘I don’t know what to do.’ he said lifting his head, he glanced around the room and noticed that Ianto had disappeared. Jack’s heart sank – that clearly showed his feelings on the matter he thought miserably.

 

‘Firstly how can you possibly be pregnant?’ Owen asked completely confused.

 

‘51st century men just can.’ Jack mumbled as he wiped away his tears. 'I’m not supposed to though, I’ve been taking drugs to prevent it.’

 

‘You must have forgotten to take them.’ Owen replied.

 

Jack nodded slightly – that was the only explanation; he rubbed his eyes and climbed off the chair. ‘I want to be alone for a bit.’ he said heading out of the autopsy bay to his office.


	2. Chapter 2

At the sound of Owen’s words  _“That's your baby’s heartbeat Jack!”_ Ianto had fled the autopsy bay. Now he was currently stood in the kitchen, his hands gripping the cold metal rim of the sink tightly. Ianto closed his eyes and shook his head – Jack pregnant! Impossible!

 

Ianto swallowed hard - so Jack had been seeing others then he thought bitterly. Ianto could hardly say he was surprised. However, he couldn’t deny that the thought of Jack with someone else hurt. Even more so, the thought of Jack sleeping with other life forms made him feel slightly sick. Ianto wondered for a few moments what kind of alien had fathered Jack’s child, but nothing from the archives capable of impregnating a human male sprang to mind.

 

‘It’s a girl.’

 

Ianto span around to find Tosh standing in the kitchen doorway; he smiled at her, Tosh was his co-worker but also his friend and confidante. Tosh was the only member of the team that knew he was sleeping with Jack, something she’d discovered after accidentally accessing some CCTV files that Jack hadn’t properly erased. Ianto was incredibly embarrassed when he realised that she knew, but thankfully she hadn’t teased him over it. In fact, she’d barely said anything at all on the matter. Most of all, Ianto knew he could trust her not tell the others which was a great relief - he knew they’d never understand and as far as they were concerned he and Jack were still harbouring resentment toward each other over what had happened with Lisa.

 

This was not the case, Ianto felt no more resentment toward Jack. During his three month suspension he’d had a long time to really think about what had happened. In the end he’d finally accepted that the girl he’d loved had died in London during the battle. Jack had not killed her - he’d killed a dangerous Cyberman - he was just doing his job and ultimately he’d saved them all.

 

‘How does he feel about it?’ Ianto asked realising that he’d momentarily been lost in thought and so had not responded to Tosh.

 

Tosh shook her head and sighed wearily. ‘He’s in complete shock, but he’s also very upset.’ she explained. ‘I’ve never seen him cry before … it was just heartbreaking.’ she added with another sorrowful shake of her head.

 

‘Jack was crying?’ Ianto asked slightly taken aback; Jack was usually so strong and rarely did he show his true emotions. Ianto had only witnessed Jack crying once - it was the dead of night and the two of them had fallen asleep on Jack’s tiny bed in a sweaty heap of tangled limbs. Ianto had woken in the early hours of the morning and at first he wasn’t sure by what; realising he’d fallen asleep next to Jack he quickly slid off the bed and began to dress. That’s when he’d heard it - Jack sobbing in his sleep and mumbling the name Freya over and over. Ianto was distressed at the sight of Jack so scared and helpless and tried to comfort him. Eventually, Ianto had got Jack to settle back down without waking him, although, Jack clung to him whilst he slept. It wasn’t until hours later that Ianto was able to free himself, slip out of Jack’s bunker and head home.

 

‘Both Gwen and I have tried talking to him, but he won’t talk to us.’ Tosh told him. ‘He’s shut himself in his office.’ she added with a weary sigh.

 

Ianto nodded his head slightly. ‘Well it’s a lot to take in I guess.’ he reasoned. ‘I’m sure he’ll be okay.’ he added positively.

 

‘I’ve never seen him like this though, I’m worried Ianto.’ Tosh pressed. ‘Maybe you could talk to him?’ she suggested.

 

‘Me?’ Ianto replied with raised eyebrows. ‘Not sure what I can do.’ he mumbled shrugging his shoulders.

 

Tosh chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. ‘I don’t know … I thought he might open up to you.' she replied. The look on Ianto's face said it all. 'Well maybe we should leave him alone then. Hopefully he’ll come round.’ she back tracked quickly.

 

‘I’m sure he will.’ Ianto replied with a reassuring smile.

 

‘What about you?’ Tosh asked gently. ‘How do you feel about all this?’

 

Ianto snorted. ‘Don’t think I’m naive enough to believe Jack’s only been with me. I always knew he was shagging other ... well other  _things_.’ he lied. In fact, it had never occurred to him that Jack would be seeing anyone else and he wasn't sure why that was - it seemed so obvious now.

 

Tosh’s expression changed to one of concern. ‘Ianto …’ she said softly.

 

Ianto laughed airily trying to pretend that he wasn’t remotely affected by the situation. ‘Maybe this is some sort of sign that I should stop seeing him now … shame really, it’s been good while it lasted.’ he added regretfully. ‘We’ve even started having proper conversations!’

 

Tosh smiled slightly completely un-fooled by Ianto’s pretence. ‘Shouldn’t that have happened before you started sleeping together?’ she teased.

 

‘Most probably.’ Ianto nodded in agreement.

 

Tosh stroked her hand down Ianto’s arm. ‘You have feelings for him, don’t deny it Ianto.’ she encouraged.

 

Ianto shrugged her off. ‘Don’t know what you’re talking about.’ he said quickly.

 

‘Come on Ianto I’ve see the way you look at Jack.’ Tosh replied.

 

‘Yeah the same way most of the people in Cardiff do.’ Ianto grumbled. ‘Most of the galaxy too by the sounds of it.’ he added bitterly.

 

‘You really think you can just end things with him?’ Tosh asked disbelievingly - they'd been seeing each other for years now, but Tosh had noticed the two of them becoming more and more close particularly over the past few months.

 

‘He’s pregnant with God knows what!’ Ianto exclaimed. ‘Feelings or not you can’t expect me to keep seeing him now.’

 

‘It doesn’t mean you two don’t have a future.’ Tosh encouraged knowing that both Ianto and Jack cared for each other a lot more than either was willing to let on.

 

Ianto laughed off the suggestion. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Me, Jack and whatever the hell he gives birth to living happily ever after? I don’t think so.’ he scoffed.

 

Tosh rolled her eyes. ‘You can pretend all you want, but you know as well as I do that ending things with Jack won’t be as easy for you as it sounds.’ she said over her shoulder as she left the kitchen.

 

Ianto scowled, but did not reply. After preparing coffee for everyone, he headed out of the kitchen where he found Gwen and Owen sitting together on the sofa deep in conversation and Tosh at her desk.

 

‘I’ll have to do a proper scan and find out exactly what we’re dealing with.’ Owen said flicking through some notes he’d made on his clipboard.

 

‘Let‘s just hope it inherits more of Jack‘s traits than its other father.’ Gwen replied.

 

‘He said he’d been pregnant before.’ Tosh chipped in. ‘I wonder if it is with the same race this time? I can’t imagine there are many out there capable of mating successfully with human males and producing viable offspring.’

 

Ianto glanced up at her and frowned - he didn’t like the way she was talking about Jack as if he was some kind of animal or test subject but he held his tongue.

 

‘We need to speak to Jack.’ Owen said decisively.

 

‘If he ever comes out of his office.’ Gwen sighed glancing over at the closed door. ‘Why do you think he was so upset?’ she asked.

 

Owen shrugged his shoulders. ‘Must just be the shock of it.’ he replied.

 

\---

 

Later that afternoon, Gwen was standing outside Jack’s office trying to peer through the glass windows but since he’d drawn the blinds her efforts were fruitless as she couldn’t see much through the thin gaps between the slats.

 

‘Gwen stop hovering around.’ Owen snapped sick of the sight and sound of her pacing the metal walkway outside Jack’s office as she had been most of that afternoon. ‘Just go in if you want to or sit down.’

 

Gwen hesitated outside Jack’s office door for a few moments unsure whether to disturb him or not. Finally, she mustered up the courage to knock. Gwen listened for a reply but didn’t hear one. Bravely, she took the door handle in her hand and turned it. Gwen stepped into Jack’s office and found it empty; she was about to leave when she spotted a small metal tin lying open on Jack’s desk. Curiosity got the better of her and she wandered over - Gwen picked up the tin and flicked through the contents; it was full of photographs and letters of varying age, some even black and white. On the very top of the small pile was a relatively new looking, although covered in finger prints, colour photograph of a baby with a pink cap and wrapped in a white blanket. Gwen picked up the picture and studied it - the girl’s eyes were closed and for some reason Gwen knew she wasn’t just sleeping.

 

Swallowing hard, her fingers trembling, Gwen flicked over the back of the photograph and studied the three initials on the back: F.H.J. Gwen frowned unable to work out what they stood for. Suddenly, the photo was snatched from her hand. Gwen looked up to see Jack staring at her - his eyes full of rage. ‘Jack I ...’ Gwen stammered.

 

‘Get out.’ Jack growled clutching the photo close to his chest.

 

‘I didn’t mean -’ Gwen started to explain.

 

‘GET OUT!’ Jack roared at the top of his voice.

 

Gwen didn’t need telling again and bolted from his office at once. Jack slammed the door shut behind her and then collapsed into his chair. Glancing down at the photograph, his fingers stroked over Freya’s tiny face. Fresh tears welled up in Jack’s eyes, tears of sorrow for his loss and tears of frustration toward Gwen.

 

Jack glanced up when he heard a soft knock at his door a few moments later. ‘If that’s you Gwen then go away.’ he growled. The door opened and Ianto’s head appeared around it. Jack glanced up at him and noticed for the first time that Freya’s eyes had been exactly the same shade as his. Unable to prevent it, a tear dripped down Jack’s cheek. ‘Ianto … ?’ he mumbled.

 

‘I’ve got coffee.’ Ianto smiled entering the office and setting one of the mugs he was holding down on Jack’s desk.

 

Jack smiled noticing that Ianto had prepared his favourite blend in his favourite blue and white striped mug. ‘Thanks.’ he replied wiping his eyes a little embarrassed for being caught in such a way.

 

‘Biscuits too.’ Ianto said pretending for Jack’s sake that he hadn’t seen his tears. ‘Got to feed you up now haven’t we?’

 

Jack smiled weakly and accepted the packet of chocolate chip cookies that Ianto offered him. ‘How do you know all my favourite things?’ he asked glancing up at the young Welshman.

 

‘I’ve told you before I know everything Sir.’ Ianto replied with a slight smile. Jack winced at the word “Sir” that Ianto still insisted on using despite the fact they’d lost their boss - staff relationship many years ago when they’d started sleeping together. Jack knew why he did it - to remind himself that when working they had to try and remain professional so that the others wouldn't find out about them but he didn't like it all the same. He loved it when Ianto said his name with his rich deep voice and cute accent, especially if he whispered it in his ear when they were in bed together. ‘Do you want to be alone?’ Ianto asked watching as Jack's eyes momentarily glazed over. ‘Or can I join you?’

 

Jack gestured for Ianto to take a seat. Ianto smiled, drew back his chair and sat down. Jack opened the packet of biscuits and dunked one in his coffee. ‘Heaven …’ he grinned as he swallowed it down in two quick bites.

 

Ianto watched him for a few moments. ‘So … ?’

 

Jack glanced up, his eyes resting on Ianto’s. ‘So … ?’ he sighed knowing that no matter how much they wanted to avoid it - they needed to talk.

 

\---

 

‘What the hell did you say to him?’ Owen asked after Gwen bolted from Jack’s office with the door slamming shut behind her.

 

‘I didn’t say anything.’ Gwen snapped defensively.

 

Tosh raised both her eyebrows. ‘Well you must have done something?’ she replied.

 

Gwen sighed, but knew it was best if she told the truth. ‘I found a picture of a baby - Jack’s baby.’ she told them.

 

‘What?! Are you sure it’s his?’ Owen asked.

 

‘Pretty sure from the way he reacted.’ Gwen mumbled miserably. ‘Only thing is, as far as I could see she was human - completely human.’

 

‘She?’ Tosh whispered. ‘Jack has a daughter?’

 

Gwen just nodded.

 

‘Well what happened to her?’ Owen asked.

 

Gwen shook her head. ‘I don’t know.’

 

Owen glanced over at Jack‘s office. ‘We should warn Ianto not to bother him.’ he said watching as Ianto headed to Jack’s office with two mugs of coffee and a packet of biscuits in the pocket of his suit jacket.

 

Gwen was about to agree, but was surprised to see that not only did Jack let Ianto in but he also let him stay. ‘How does tea boy do it?’ she muttered bitterly.

 

‘He knows that the way to Jack’s heart is through his stomach.’ Owen laughed noticing that Jack seemed to have cheered up immensely now he had biscuits and coffee.

 

\----

 

‘Is this decaff?’ Jack asked staring down into his half-empty mug of coffee.

 

‘Yep.’ Ianto replied. ‘That’s what you’ll be getting from now on.’ he added.

 

Jack glanced up at him. ‘Why?’ he whined.

 

‘Considering the amount of coffee you drink every day, having an ordinary blend would not good for the baby‘s health.’ Ianto explained. ‘I think that might be the last biscuits you see for a while too.’ he added.

 

Jack crossed his arms and pouted childishly. ‘That’s not fair.’

 

‘Well if you want your baby to be healthy then you can’t eat like a teenager anymore.‘ Ianto replied. He paused and studied Jack. ‘That  _is_ what you want right?’ he asked.

 

Jack shrugged. ‘Maybe …’ he mumbled. ‘Maybe not.’ he sighed. ‘I’m not sure I’m keeping her yet.’

 

Ianto‘s eyes filled with concern. ‘You don’t mean that.’ he whispered.

 

Jack shrugged. ‘I don’t know what I want yet.’ he confessed. Jack wanted to tell him everything: about Freya, about how he’d lost her and how he was terrified the same thing would happen again but he wasn‘t sure how Ianto would react. His head was telling him that having this baby would be inconvenient to say the least, but his heart desperately wanted to keep her. Ultimately, Jack knew that it wasn’t fair for him to make the decision on his own - this child was just as much Ianto’s as it was his.

 

‘Maybe you should discuss it with the father.’ Ianto suggested. ‘Do you know -’ he started to ask.

 

‘Yes.’ Jack growled.

 

‘Sorry.’ Ianto replied quickly. ‘I’m not exactly clued up on your private life.’

 

Jack closed his eyes - so Ianto hadn’t realised yet that he was the father. ‘I thought you knew …’ Jack breathed. ‘I thought that’s why you left when Owen announced it earlier.’

 

‘I was a little shocked.’ Ianto confessed thinking that Jack was referring to the fact he'd been seeing other people when in fact the opposite was true. ‘I should have realised that I was sharing you, but we’ve been together practically every night for the past few months so I thought it was just me you were …’ he trailed off and blushed heavily, feeling stupid for believing such a thing.

 

‘Ianto -’ Jack started to say.

 

‘It’s fine.’ Ianto said shaking his head. ‘You can see whoever you want. I am interested about the other parent though …. I mean if you do decide to keep her will she inherit their traits too? Will she be part alien?’

 

Jack frowned. ‘Is that what you all think?’ he asked a little taken aback. 'That an alien fathered my child?'  
  
Ianto studied Jack. ‘Well you’re a man so we just assumed.’ he tried to explain.

 

‘She’s human.’ Jack said cutting him off. ‘Completely human.’

 

Ianto frowned. ‘But -’

 

‘Ianto.’ Jack said firmly, he took a deep breath and decided to just get it over quickly. ‘She’s human and she’s yours.’

 

Ianto stared at Jack not quite able to take in what he’d just said. Suddenly, his eyes grew wide with shock; he opened and shut his mouth a few times to say something but was unable to get any words out.

 

‘Say something … please.’ Jack begged, really worried by this point. Ianto’s eyes suddenly rolled and his face drained white as he fainted. Jack watched in horror as Ianto slid off the chair onto the floor in a heap. ‘Ianto!’ he cried leaping up. Running around his desk he knelt down on the floor and pulled Ianto into his arms. ‘OWEN!’ he shouted desperately.

 

Owen skidded into the office and saw Ianto on the floor out cold. ‘What happened?’ he asked kneeling down and quickly checking him over.

 

Jack looked up to see Gwen and Tosh standing in the doorway looking down at Ianto worriedly; they moved to one side as Owen picked Ianto up and carried him through the hub. ’Jack?’ Owen barked over his shoulder. ‘What did you say to make him faint?’

 

Jack followed Owen, Tosh and Gwen out of his office. ‘I told him that he’s the father of my baby.’ he confessed.

 

Gwen stopped in her tracks and her mouth dropped open, Tosh came to an abrupt halt and her eyes widened and Owen almost dropped Ianto as he lowered him onto the old battered sofa. The three of them turned to Jack.

 

‘You’ve got to be kidding?!’ Owen said glancing between Ianto lying unconscious on the sofa to Jack standing looking completely lost. ‘You and tea boy!’ he exclaimed.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ianto’s eyes finally opened he looked up to see Owen and Tosh looming over him. ‘What happened?’ he mumbled sitting up, feeling very confused; the last thing he could remember clearly was heading for Jack’s office - how had he ended up on the sofa in the hub?

 

Owen’s eyebrows rose. ‘You’ve got Jack up the duff that’s what’s happened.’ he replied rather insensitively.

 

‘Owen!’ Tosh growled nudging him. ‘You’ll make him faint again.’ she warned watching as Ianto’s eyes widened once more.

 

‘Faint?’ Ianto asked. ‘What are you talking about? Faint? I’ve never fainted in my life.’ he protested.

 

Owen snorted, trying to suppress a laugh. ‘So you just decided to have a kip on Jack’s office floor then did you?’ he replied with his usual brand of sarcasm.

 

Ianto glanced across the hub to Jack’s office and watched him pace the length of it, back and forth over and over again; Gwen was there talking to him, but Jack was clearly ignoring everything she was saying. ‘I fainted?’ Ianto asked, his eyes turning to rest on Tosh’s.

 

Tosh nodded her head slightly. ‘You’ve only been out a few minutes.’ she told him. ‘How do you feel now?’ she asked anxiously.

 

Ianto slid off the sofa and stood up. ‘Okay I guess …’ he replied, his legs a little unsteady beneath him. ‘A little light headed maybe.’

 

‘Sit back down.’ Owen instructed watching as Ianto’s expression paled. ‘Tosh grab him some water.’ he said over his shoulder. Tosh nodded and set off for the kitchen. ‘You’ll be alright.’ Owen said patting Ianto on the back. ‘Jack’s the one we have to worry about!’ he laughed.

 

Ianto couldn’t help but glance back over at Jack’s office; his eyes drifted down Jack’s lean, muscular body and he tried to imagine what he would look like in just a few months time. Ianto closed his eyes - Jack was pregnant and he was the father - no matter how much he tried to let it the thought just wouldn’t sink in.

 

‘Here - drink this.’ Tosh said handing him the glass of water that she’d fetched from the kitchen. Ianto took the glass and swallowed down the contents quickly. Tosh took the glass away when Ianto spluttered slightly. ‘Slowly or you’ll choke.’ she scolded.

 

Ianto rubbed the sleeve of his suit jacket across his mouth. ‘Sorry …’ he mumbled taking back the glass and sipping the water.

 

‘You’re still in shock.’ Tosh said watching him carefully.

 

‘Too bloody right he is.’ Owen muttered. ‘I think we all are. In fact I think we could all do with a stiff drink.’

 

‘Except Jack …’ Ianto mumbled. ‘He can’t drink now that he’s … now that he’s …’ he trailed off and shook his head unable to even say the word.

 

‘Pregnant.’ Tosh whispered gently.

 

‘Yeah -  _that_.’ Ianto nodded swallowing hard.

 

‘You’ll have to get used to the word.’ Owen told him. Ianto just nodded his head slightly, still too stunned to speak properly. ‘Go up to the boardroom.’ Owen instructed. ‘I’ll be up in a minute once I’ve fetched some of the hard stuff.’

 

Ianto nodded and drifted off, Tosh followed him worriedly and Owen headed for Jack’s office. ‘Where’s Jack?’ Owen asked when he found Gwen in the office alone.

 

‘He went for a walk.’ Gwen sighed, shaking her head slightly. ‘To clear his head.’ she told Owen.

 

Owen grabbed a bottle of whiskey and several small glasses from the small wooden drinks cabinet in the corner of the room. ‘Ianto needs a drink.’ he told Gwen simply. ‘Coming?’ he asked.

 

Gwen just nodded and followed him out of the office. Owen climbed the stairs and let himself into the boardroom where Tosh and Ianto were talking in low whispers. Owen left them to it, knowing Tosh was the best person to talk to Ianto and set about preparing the drinks. After pouring a generous measure of whiskey into each glass, Owen dealt them out to his team mates and took a seat at the table.

 

Ianto grabbed his glass and knocked back the contents quickly, Owen topped it up for him straightaway. For the next few moments the four of them sat, nursing their drinks in a subdued silence.

 

‘So …’ Gwen sighed, cutting through the building tension. ‘You and Jack?’ she asked.

 

Ianto shrugged his shoulders. ‘Don’t read too much into it.’ he mumbled. ‘It’s nothing really.’

 

‘How long have you been together?’ Gwen asked. Owen glanced at Ianto, he was also interested to know the extent of his relationship with their boss - how long had they been sleeping together? Were there any real feelings between them?

 

Ianto glanced at his team mates. ‘We’re not together.’ he said firmly, ignoring how much it hurt to say the words. ‘We never have been and we never will be together, he’s made that perfectly clear many times.’ he added rather bitterly.

 

Jack had refused to use any term to define their relationship and they both had decided that after Tosh found out that the rest of the team could never know - it just made things far too complicated.

 

Gwen frowned slightly. ‘Sounds to me like you want there to be something more between you?'

 

Ianto grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another measure. ‘I don’t really want to go into it.’ he said knocking back the drink quickly.

 

Ianto knew there was more too their relationship than sex; he Jack cared for him but he wasn’t sure if it was in a different way to the rest of the team. Jack had told him that he’d come back for him, he’d even asked him on a date! And he'd opened up to him about everything that had happened whilst he’d been away - the Master and what he’d put him through, how time had reversed, and how at the end of it all he’d just wanted to come home to him.

 

Just when Ianto thought they were getting somewhere, just when he started to think that they might one day be a real “couple” the Doctor had showed up and taken Jack away again. It had been in the dead of night, Ianto had woken when he felt Jack slip out of bed. Ianto pretended to be asleep whilst he listened to Jack dress. Jack paced the bunker and just as Ianto was about to ask him what was going on, the sound of the TARDIS landing in the hub above filled the room. Ianto’s heart started to race and he realised that this had all been planned - Jack was leaving again. Ianto didn’t let on that he was awake - what difference would it make, this had clearly all been planned so what could he do?

 

Ianto was more than surprised to be woken again a few hours later to the feel of Jack slipping in bed beside him. Even more so when he felt Jack’s arms wind around him and his lips brush against his neck. ‘I’m so sorry ...’ he mumbled before falling to sleep.

 

In the morning Jack said nothing of his midnight escapade, but Ianto knew the truth. He didn’t know how long Jack had been gone but he knew it was more than just the few hours he’d been missing. Upon his return, Jack had changed - he was quiet and Ianto could tell something had happened to him but try as he might he just couldn’t get Jack to open up. Jack grew a frustrated with Ianto’s questioning and they’d had an explosive argument over it. For a short while Jack had avoided him completely but after a few weeks Ianto eventually found himself back in his Captain’s bed. There had been no mention of any dates and Ianto wasn’t brave enough to bring the subject up - perhaps whilst Jack was away with the Doctor he’d decided that he didn’t want anything more to develop between them he led himself to believe.

 

Ianto knew he had feelings for Jack no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, every time he went out to tackle weevils and the various other life forms the rift spat out he was terrified Jack would get hurt or worse die and have to revive - something that clearly distressed him. He knew it was silly to worry so much about the safety of an immortal man, but he just couldn’t help it.

 

‘When did you first … well you know?’ Gwen asked.

 

Ianto glanced up at her. ‘Do you really want all the details Gwen?’ he asked knowing that she was completely and utterly besotted with Jack and that the news that not only was he sleeping with Jack, but he’d also got him pregnant would be tearing her up inside.

 

Gwen chewed her bottom lip. ‘I guess not.’ she replied knowing that it would only hurt - she always thought she was the one Jack favoured and that it was only her loyalty to Rhys that was keeping them apart. ‘I just don’t understand … how could we not know? I mean I’ve never even suspected! I thought you two hated each other? Especially after Lisa.’

 

Tosh sighed crossly. ‘Gwen do you really think Jack would have let Ianto stay if he felt that way?’

 

‘So that explains it.’ Owen muttered. ‘I always wondered why Jack never retconned you.’

 

‘Jack let him stay because he knew he was truly sorry. He’s not a traitor Owen.’ Tosh snapped defensively.

 

‘I know that now.’ Owen replied. He turned to Ianto. ‘I know you only did what you did because you still believed she could be saved, God knows I’d have done the same for Katie but at the time I was absolutely convinced that Jack would wipe your memories. I mean he held a gun to your head twice!’ he exclaimed.

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘So was I. I had accepted that as my fate, I told Jack I wasn’t going to resist but he refused to retcon me. I really don’t know why he didn’t.’ he shrugged.

 

‘Maybe the fact you were shagging him had something to do with it.’ Gwen muttered. So that was it, she decided - Ianto was just using Jack., sleeping with him so that he wouldn’t be retconned. Gwen smiled to herself - there weren’t any real feelings between them so Jack was still hers.

 

‘We weren’t sleeping together then.’ Ianto told her matter-of-factly.

 

Gwen’s eyes fixed on Ianto’s. ‘If you say so.’

 

‘If you really want to know it wasn’t until after Suzie came back.’ Ianto told her.

 

Owen’s eyes widened slightly. ‘That long ago?’ he exclaimed.

 

Ianto just nodded slightly.

 

Gwen pursed her lips. ‘All this time …’ she whispered under her breath. How could she have not known?! How could Jack have kept this from her?!

 

‘Did Jack say how long he’s going to be?’ Owen asked irritably. ‘I really need to know how this is going to work; for instance what happens when he gives birth?’ he asked looking at Ianto.

 

‘How should I know?’ Ianto snapped.

 

‘Caesarean.’ Jack’s voice suddenly rang through the room. Owen, Tosh and Gwen looked up to see him standing in the doorway his eyes fixed on Ianto who just continued staring at his glass deliberately not looking at Jack. ‘If you don’t deliver her when the time comes she’ll die and so will I.’ he told Owen.

 

Tosh looked up at him quizzically. ‘But you’re immortal?’

 

‘I know but she’s not.’ Jack replied unconsciously stroking his hand over his stomach. ‘If I die I’ll come back, but she won’t so for the next six months think of me as effectively mortal.’ he told them.

 

‘Nine months?’ Owen piped up. ‘So you’ll be pregnant for the same length as a woman then?’

 

‘Yes.’ Jack nodded. ‘The whole pregnancy is rather similar, although men tend to show later and their babies are usually smaller.’ he explained.

 

Gwen shook her head. ‘You speak as if this is normal?’ she asked a little bewildered.

 

‘It is.’ Jack replied with a slight nod. ‘Perfectly normal - at least in my time it is. Think about it, it's only the 21st century and the idea of designer babies are already being put into practice - imagine what else will be possible in three thousand years.’

 

Thinking upon his words Owen could see Jack's point. ‘You said you were pregnant before?’ he asked.

 

Jack swallowed hard, he didn’t really want to discuss what had happened but there was no way he was going to lie to them - it would dishonour Freya’s memory, however that didn’t mean he had to tell them everything. ‘I was.’ Jack confirmed with a slight nod.

 

‘When? What happened?’ Owen asked.

 

‘It’s not something I want to talk about.’ Jack said trying to keep his expression neutral and mask the pain he felt.

 

Owen sighed. ‘You need to tell me, I have no idea what I’m dealing with here.’ he pressed.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘There were complications … she died. My baby died.’ he told them, his voice cracking with emotion.

 

Gwen watched as Jack’s eyes filled with sorrow. ‘Oh Jack!’ she cried jumping up from her seat and rushing over to him.

 

Jack took a step back and shook his head. ‘Don’t.’ he muttered knowing Gwen’s attempts to comfort him would only make him feel worse; it wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her concern, but if there was anyone he wanted to comfort him it was Ianto. Jack looked to him, wanting nothing more than to feel his reassuring arms around him, for him to tell him it wasn't his fault and that everything would be okay this time round but Ianto continued to stare at his glass - not even a flicker of emotion crossed his stony face.

 

Gwen wrapped her arms around Jack despite his protests. ‘That’s why you were so upset earlier … when Owen told you it was a girl. I’m right aren’t I?’ she whispered glaring at Ianto over Jack’s shoulder - how could he be so heartless?

 

Little did Gwen know Ianto was trying his upmost to keep control and mask his emotions - Jack had lost a child, the thought of him suffering the pain of that killed him too even though it was likely that this hadn’t even happened in his lifetime. Jack was immortal; he’d lived a thousand lifetimes and there was still so much Ianto didn’t know about him. Although, he knew that he knew a great deal more than any of his team mates. None of them knew what Jack suffered at the Master’s hands during the year that never was, as far as they knew Jack had been gallivanting off with his Doctor having great adventures and Jack was more than happy to let them believe that. He tried to hide the truth from Ianto too but he instantly knew something was wrong and after much coaxing and reassurance Jack had opened up to him. 

 

‘It brought back painful memories.’ Jack said shrugging Gwen off him and wrapping his arms around himself. Gwen sat back down feeling rather put out, especially when she noticed that Jack’s eyes were lingering on Ianto. Why was Jack so fixated on him? Ianto clearly didn’t have any feelings toward him. Gwen was confused, she never thought she’d ever see Jack becoming attached to anyone least of all their coffee boy, what was so special about him? Gwen crossed her arms and glared at Ianto - how could he be so cruel? If he didn’t want Jack then he should stop torturing him so.

 

‘How did it happen? Did she die before or after birth?’ Owen asked wondering if it was anything that could affect Jack’s current pregnancy.

 

Jack turned and his eyes rested on Owen’s. ‘I will discuss it with you when it’s necessary.’ he said firmly, making it clear that he wasn’t going to allow any argument on the matter. ‘Right now I’ve got other things to think about, I need to work out what I’m going to do.’

 

‘What do you mean?’ Gwen asked. ‘You’re not thinking of a termination surely … are you?!’ she asked alarmed.

 

Jack’s eyes left hers and flicked over to Ianto who still wouldn’t look at him. ‘I don’t know yet.’ he confessed. ‘Being pregnant in this time is complicated because right now it should be impossible, there is a lot I need to think about. We need to think about.' he added glancing at Ianto, wishing he'd just at least acknowledge him.

 

‘Well you can stop thinking right now.’ Ianto suddenly said pushing back his chair and standing up; he turned to Jack but his eyes did not quite meet his. ‘There is no way you’re having this baby.’ he told him.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack stared at him completely shocked - this was not the response he was expecting. ‘Yan …’ he breathed.

 

‘Don’t “Yan” me.’ Ianto snapped momentarily closing his eyes. 

 

Tosh, Owen and Gwen looked on completely confused - they'd never seen Jack and Ianto talk to each other this way, it was like they were stuck in the middle of a domestic!

 

‘It’s wrong.' Ianto hissed through gritted teeth. ‘You’re from the future - you shouldn’t be here so neither should  _she_.’ he hissed, preventing himself from looking at Jack’s stomach where he knew their baby was growing.

 

‘Timelines don’t work that way.’ Jack argued. ‘It’s not that simple.’

 

‘Well make it simple then.’ Ianto spat over his shoulder as he headed off out of the boardroom slamming the glass door behind him so hard that it shattered. Ianto stood outside the door for a few moments completely regretting what he’d just said - he didn’t even know where it had come from! Ianto needed to get away from the rest of the team, he needed some fresh air and time to really process everything. Ianto headed down the stairs, grabbed his coat and left the hub deciding a walk down the bay might help clear his head.

 

Jack sat down in one of the chairs and sighed. ‘I never imagined he’d take it this badly.’

 

‘Give him a break Jack.’ Tosh said defensively. ‘He had no idea this could happen.’

 

‘It’s just as much his fault though.’ Gwen argued back.

 

Jack sighed heavily. ‘I hope he comes round, we need to talk about this properly.’

 

‘Jack?’ Gwen asked gently. ‘Without all the complication of timelines and everything else, at the end of the day you’re having a baby. You’re happy about that right?’ she asked.

 

Jack chewed on his bottom lip. ‘Confused, worried and a little scared I guess.’ he replied getting up. ‘Happy? I’m not so sure about that yet.’ he added sadly. Gwen was about to reply, but Jack shook his head. ‘I’m going to lie down; extreme tiredness tends to be a side effect of my pregnancy.’ he said heading out of the boardroom.

 

Owen stared after him. ‘That’s going to be convenient.’ he sighed knowing Jack would use this excuse to get away from them whenever he wanted to avoid talking to them.

 

Jack stopped at the top of the flight of stairs and his eyes swept around the hub, but Ianto had gone. Jack sighed and wandered to his office and down into the bunker that lay below.

 

Jack sat on the small bed that he’d slept beside Ianto in for more nights now that he cared to remember - they usually slept at the hub, it was easier to keep an eye on the rift, the various aliens they had in the cells and of course their pet pterodactyl, Myfanwy. It was impractical because not only was the hub very noisy but the bunker was also tiny; they both frequently hit their heads on the low ceiling and more than once one of them had fallen out of the tiny bed. With all this hassle Jack was surprised Ianto stayed at all and he was even more surprised that Ianto seemed rather content with the situation. Jack placed his hand on his stomach and amused himself for a few moments with the impossible thought of the two of them and their baby cooped up in the tiny room.

 

Jack slid off the bed and knelt down on the cold stone floor; reaching under the bed he pulled out a dusty box that he hadn’t touched since he’d first put it under there. Jack pushed off the lid and lifted out the neatly folded baby clothes it contained. Jack fondled them and sniffed back the tears prickling behind his eyes; he’d bought them after discovering he was pregnant the first time. Jack felt a pang of sadness as the thought about the fact that he was never able to bring Freya home or see her grown big enough to wear them.

 

Jack ran the pad of his thumb over the soft white fabric; when he felt a tear escape and drip down his face he quickly put the clothes away and pushed the box back under the bed. Jack climbed back onto the bed and laid down, he closed his eyes and let his hand slide over his stomach once more. It was still relatively flat and his pregnancy was virtually undetectable whilst his clothes were still on. Off, however, his once firm and toned stomach had turned soft and slightly swollen. Jack knew that his whole body would change soon enough to accommodate the growing child and new hormones would develop and play havoc with his emotions.

 

Jack stripped off his clothes and climbed under the covers despite it still being early, barely even dark outside. He was exhausted and knew that was something he was going to have to get used to - that and severe morning sickness, strange eating habits and general grumpiness were symptoms he’d experienced previously and showed no sign of letting up this time around.   
  
Jack closed his eyes and sighed heavily; Ianto didn’t want her - he’d made that clear. Jack knew it was now his decision. If he wanted to keep her he could have the Doctor take him away and Ianto would never have to see either of them again.

 

Jack knew terminating the pregnancy wasn’t an option for him. However, he also didn’t want to leave Earth; he loved the 21st century and considered Cardiff as home. He also had his duty to Torchwood and his team which he wasn’t ready to give up either. Jack closed his eyes and knew in that moment that it would be impossible to juggle all that and a baby too especially on his own. Even without the difficult logistics of working for Torchwood he still had all the risk associated with it too and he couldn’t put his daughter at risk. Jack knew she’d be safer away from Torchwood all together … adoption was a possibility either here on Earth or somewhere else. Jack thought about it and decided a different time would be best, otherwise he could pass his own flesh and blood in the street and not even know it. A thought that was unbearable to him.

 

\---

  
Jack, unsurprisingly, didn’t have a restful night’s sleep and woke in the early hours of the morning. He missed the feel of Ianto’s body curled around him, the heavy weight of his arm slung over his stomach; he missed the feel of his cold feet entangled with his own; he even missed the annoying feel of Ianto’s fluffy bed hair tickling his face and the sound of his insane, incoherent rambles that he muttered in a mixture of Welsh and English whilst he slept. Ianto fidgeted, twitched, hogged the quilt and had a good few other annoying sleeping habits which Jack hadn’t realised he’d become so accustomed to until that moment. Since when had he been unable to sleep without a certain 21stcentury, coffee scented Welshman beside him? He wondered.

 

After tossing and turning for half an hour, unable to get comfortable, Jack gave up on trying to get back to sleep and climbed out of bed. He pulled himself up into his office. His mouth was dry so he made his way to the kitchen in search of a drink. Jack was more than surprised to find Ianto in the kitchen scrubbing away at his beloved coffee machine. ‘How long have you been here?’ Jack asked.

 

Ianto glanced up a little startled. ‘I’m not sure, a couple of hours maybe.’ he replied unable to prevent his eyes from sweeping down Jack’s semi-naked body.

 

Jack glanced down at himself and quickly crossed his arms over his chest. ‘It’s four in the morning Yan.’ he yawned. ‘Why didn’t you come down?’ he asked.

 

‘I didn’t want to wake you.’ Ianto told him. ‘Besides I wasn’t sure if I was welcome after what I said earlier.’ he added glancing at Jack questionably.

 

Jack chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. ‘You were still in shock.’ he replied eventually. ‘I don’t believe for one second you’d consider getting rid of this baby. I hope I’m right?’

 

Ianto’s eyes filled with hope. ‘I don’t Jack. I swear I don’t!’ he cried. ‘I don’t know why I said it. I don’t know what came over me!’

 

‘It’s okay.’ Jack soothed, reaching out and coaxing Ianto into his arms.

 

‘I was so worried.’ Ianto said burying his head in Jack’s shoulder as his strong arms folded around him. ‘Worried that you thought that’s what I wanted. Worried you hated me for being so cruel.’

 

Jack shook his head slightly. ‘I know you better than you think Ianto.’ he whispered.

 

Ianto rubbed at his tear filled eyes. ‘What do we do then?’ he asked drawing back. ‘You said you have to decide what you were going to do? What does that mean?’ he asked.

 

Jack leant back against the counter and sighed deeply. ‘When I was pregnant before, I was so happy … really happy … and I was so caught up thinking about the moment that I’d be able to hold her in my arms that I didn’t really plan for the future properly.’ Jack told him. ‘This time I’m more cautious … I’m worried and I’m scared for her Ianto. Torchwood is a dangerous place to be involved with.’

 

‘Please don’t say you want to get rid of her?’ Ianto asked, his eyes begging him.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘I don’t want to.’ he told Ianto.

 

Ianto sighed with relief. ‘Thank God.’

 

‘I can’t keep her though Ianto.’ Jack told him. ‘I can’t bring her up.’ he said shaking his head. ‘I’d be no good for her.’

 

‘Don’t say that.’ Ianto whispered. ‘You’ll be a brilliant father.’

 

Jack shook his head. ‘I won’t, but you will.’ he said his eyes resting on his.  ‘I know what I have to do - I have to let you both go.’

 

‘What are you saying?!’ Ianto asked fearfully.

 

‘I’m saying that when she’s born I want you to take her, I want you to leave Torchwood and raise her yourself.’ Jack told him, unable to believe he was really saying the words, but he knew it was for the best - Ianto would look after her, he’d protect her. Their daughter could lead a normal life; she’d live a life without aliens or the danger associated with Torchwood. She would never know that she had two fathers and Jack knew he’d never see her grow old and die.

 

Ianto just stared back at Jack, for the second time that day too stunned to speak.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Adult Content Warning for this Chapter*

Ianto just stared at Jack few moments, completely stunned by what he’d just said.

 

‘Yan?’ Jack asked gently.

 

Ianto shook his head furiously. ‘You can’t ask me to do that.’ he said turning away from Jack.

 

‘Please, it’s the only way.’ Jack begged watching as Ianto resumed scrubbing away at his coffee machine.

 

‘It’s not.’ Ianto said firmly.

 

Jack sighed irritably wishing Ianto would just understand. ‘You’re not even prepared to hear me out are you?’ he muttered moodily.

 

Ianto glanced up at him. ‘You’re not thinking properly -’

 

‘You can talk!' Jack exclaimed. 'Earlier you made it perfectly clear you wanted me to get rid of her.’ he snapped. He immediately regretted saying this and one look at the hurt expression on Ianto’s face made him feel worse. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that ...’ he mumbled knowing that Ianto would never really want that.

 

Ianto closed his eyes and sighed with exasperation. ‘We need to sit down and discuss all the options.’ he urged.

 

‘I’ve thought about this Ianto.’ Jack hissed. ‘I’ve done nothing but think - this is the only option can’t you see that?’

 

‘No actually I can’t.’ Ianto retorted angrily. ‘Look, we’re both tired and I think that today has been more than a little overwhelming. Can’t we just discuss this in the morning when we’ve both got clear heads?’ he asked.

 

‘I’m not changing my mind.’ Jack muttered as he crossed his arms across his bare chest. ‘I’ve got responsibilities, a duty, and having this baby will just complicate things.’

 

Ianto gritted his teeth. ‘So your job is more important to you than our child?’

 

‘I didn’t say that.’ Jack snapped. ‘You’re not listening to me.’

 

‘I am!’ Ianto snapped back. ‘Yes having a baby will change things, I’m not going to even bother trying to deny that, but you don’t have to choose between us and this place Jack.’ he said gesturing to the hub.

 

‘Us?’ Jack laughed. ‘Is there even as “us”?’ he asked.

 

‘There could be.’ Ianto replied in a far gentler tone, a longing look in his eyes. 

 

Jack’s eyes met Ianto’s and lingered there, there was a long pause before he eventually replied. ‘What are you saying?’ he asked, a flurry of excitement shooting down his spine. 

 

‘I want us to raise her together.’ Ianto told him, not bothering to beat around the bush. ‘I want us to both be in her life.’

 

Jack smiled slightly at the thought of the three of them together as a family, but then quickly shook his head dismissing the idea. ‘It will never work.’ he said annoyed with himself for even considering it. ‘I can’t do domestic Ianto, I’m a fifty-first Century immortal conman for god sake!’

 

‘You’re not a conman any more Jack.’ Ianto reminded him.

 

‘Might as well be.’ Jack mumbled miserably. ‘You don’t trust me. I mean you assumed I’d been with someone else when you found out I was pregnant.’

 

‘You can’t blame me for not realising she was mine!’ Ianto argued. ‘First of all how could I have possibly known? You’re a man Jack! Men don’t get pregnant in this time. Besides, you’re the one that refused to define our relationship. I don’t know even know what I am to you. Colleague? Fuck buddy? Boyfriend? Maybe if I knew where we stood I’d trust your loyalty.’

 

Jack cast his eyes down, knowing that Ianto was right. ‘You know why I don’t want to define us Ianto, we’ve discussed this … you know I can’t promise you anything, you know we can’t build any kind of life together. I’m immortal. I’ll outlive you and all our children.’

 

Ianto couldn't help but smile at Jack's words. ‘All?’ he asked with a raised eyebrow. ‘We haven’t even had this one yet.'

 

Jack coloured slightly. ‘You know what I mean.’ he replied. ‘We’re not in a relationship, we don’t live together, we’re don't love each other.’

 

At that moment Ianto felt like all the air had been knocked out of him; he tried to hide this as much as possible, but Jack knew him far too well. Jack studied him, noticing the crushed look on his face. ‘Ianto?’ he asked gently. ‘You don’t? You don’t … do you?!’ he exclaimed.

 

‘No.’ Ianto muttered quickly. ‘Of course not, that would be just stupid.’ he replied trying to laugh off the suggestion.

 

‘Ianto …’ Jack breathed, for the first time realising just how deep Ianto’s feelings ran. Of course he knew there was something between them and that their relationship had change recently, but love? He hadn’t considered that Ianto would ever love him. He thought that their past was too murky to allow for that.

 

‘Don’t.’ Ianto muttered closing his eyes tightly. ‘I get it Jack. You’ve made things perfectly clear. I can’t believe what a fool I’ve been.’ he said before stalking off out of the kitchen.

 

‘Ianto!’ Jack called after him.

 

Ianto ignored Jack as he hurried through the hub not really paying attention to where he was going. At that moment all he wanted was to just get as far away from Jack as possible. Eventually, he slowed to a stop and leant against the cold stone wall of one of the hub’s tunnels and sighed heavily. Ianto closed his eyes and let the agonising truth sink in for the first time -Jack didn’t love him, of course he didn’t, he knew that so why was he upset? Ianto rubbed at his eyes furiously, he wasn’t going to shed more tears over Jack.

 

\---

 

An hour or so later, Ianto had prepared a fresh pot of decaffeinated coffee and went in search of Jack hoping that he was in a reasonable mood so they could at least be on speaking terms when the rest of the team arrived. Ianto made his way to Jack’s office, surprised not to find him there. Ianto set down the coffee cups on the desk and pulled open the man-hole cover situated just behind his desk. Ianto peered down into the tiny bunker that lay below, but Jack was not there either. Straightening up, Ianto frowned slightly - where could he be? He was about to try his comms. but then spotted his ear piece lying on his desk.

 

Feeling rather worried by this point, Ianto set off in search of him once more. Ianto tried the cells, the firing range, the morgue but he eventually found Jack in the autopsy bay. Ianto stood in the doorway and watched - Jack was trying to work Owen’s body scanner, grumbling under his breath unable to work out what he was doing wrong.

 

Ianto headed down the steps and took hold of Jack’s hand. Jack glanced up in alarm, not hearing Ianto’s approach. ‘Won’t work.’ he mumbled, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. ‘Need to see her ... need to know this is real ...’ he whispered desperately.  

 

Ianto nodded slowly. ‘Here.’ he said gently. ‘You have to put your hand on here.’ he said laying it down on top of the small glass screen. Immediately the machine sprung to life and a screen projected up onto the white tiles of the autopsy bay wall. Using a small remote control, Ianto located and brought up a clear image of their unborn daughter. Neither of them said anything as they stood, Ianto’s hand on Jack’s, and stared up at the screen. Suddenly, a small sob caught in the back of Jack’s throat breaking the strangely serene silence that had befallen.

 

‘Jack?’ Ianto asked worriedly.

 

Jack turned to him. ‘You’ll take good care of her won’t you?’ he asked.

 

Ianto swallowed hard, hating seeing Jack so upset. ‘She’ll need both of us.’ he told him as he gave his hand a tight squeeze.

 

‘No.’ Jack protested. ‘She needs you. Just you. I’ll be ...’ he trailed off and just shook his head sorrowfully. ‘She’s just better off with you.’

 

Ianto laid his free hand on Jack’s arm. ‘I know you Jack.’ he whispered. ‘You might like to pretend that the reason you don’t want her is because it’s an inconvenience but I know that’s not true. You love her just as much as I do. So what’s the real reason Jack?’ he asked. ‘Has this got something to do with your other child?’ he asked gently.

 

Jack was about to protest, but knew he’d only be lying if he did. ‘I can’t go through what I went through before. I can’t lose another child it would kill me Ianto.’ he said his eyes brimming with tears.

 

Ianto stroked his hand down Jack’s arm affectionately. ‘Is there any reason to suggest the same thing will happen again?’ he asked trying not to show his own fear.

 

Jack shrugged his shoulders slightly. ‘I’m not sure.’ he confessed. ‘All I know is that I wasn’t strong enough to protect her. I know I’m immortal, but my body was still recovering from what the Master did to me ... it couldn’t cope with the stress of carrying a baby too.’

 

‘That was a long time ago, you‘ve recovered now.’ Ianto whispered reassuringly. ‘The same thing isn’t going to happen this time.’ he said positively.

 

‘You can’t promise that.’ Jack mumbled. ‘No one can.’ he added regretfully.

 

‘Maybe not,’ Ianto admitted, ‘but Owen, Tosh and Gwen will do their best to look after you.’

 

Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘I know.’

 

Ianto rested his head on Jack’s shoulder. ‘You’ve got me too.’ he reminded him. ‘You’ll always have me. I won’t let anything happen to you or our child, not while there is still breath left in my body.’ he whispered.

 

The back of Jack’s neck tingled with excitement; he turned to him and smiled. ‘You really care about her don’t you?’ he said.

 

‘I care about  _both_  of you.’ Ianto replied, he turned and glanced up at the screen and smiled. ‘I can’t wait to hold her in my arms.’

 

Jack studied Ianto, his eyes running over the soft folds of his lips. ‘Ianto.’ he said. Ianto turned to him, their eyes met and searched each others. Temptation and desire grew, their lips sought out and claimed each other’s. Jack kissed him deeply, desperately seeking out reassurance which Ianto gladly gave.

 

Jack’s hand left the scanner, causing the projection on the wall to disappear, he pulled Ianto close as the kiss deepened.

 

‘You should sleep.’ Ianto said eventually drawing back for breath. ‘You look exhausted.’ he whispered gently stroking his finger over the dark circles under his eyes.

 

Jack shrugged slightly. ‘Can’t.’

 

‘Try.’ Ianto encouraged. ‘For the both of us?’ he asked his hand ghosting over Jack’s stomach.

 

Jack nodded slightly. ‘Come with me?’ he asked.

 

Ianto hesitated for a few moments but then nodded; he took Jack’s hand and then encouraged him out of the autopsy bay. They made their way through the hub and down into Jack’s bunker where they stripped off their clothes and climbed into bed.

 

‘It’s freezing.’ Ianto moaned cuddling up to Jack.

 

Jack cuddled him close and wrapped the quilt around them tightly. ‘Better?’ he asked.

 

Ianto laid his head on Jack’s chest. ‘Much.’ he smiled.

 

Jack closed his eyes and sighed deeply. ‘Things are going to change ...’ he mumbled knowing that it was a complete understatement.

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘Yeah ...’ he replied simply.

 

The two of them lay in a peaceful silence listening to the sound of the water gushing down the tower above them, the rustling form Myfanwy who’d returned to her nest and the usual whirring and ticking sounds of the computers and machinery in the hub above them. Slowly they warmed up and became more comfortable.

 

‘When it happened ...’ Ianto whispered thinking about the birth of Jack’s first child. ‘You weren’t alone were you?’ he asked hating the thought of going suffering so much grief alone.

 

Jack shook his head slightly. ‘The Doctor was there. He helped me through it as best he could.’ he explained, wishing he could tell Ianto that all he wanted was for him to be there.

 

‘The Doctor?’ Ianto repeated swallowing hard, his body stiffening. ‘Was he … ?’ he started to ask, but trailed off fearing the answer.

 

‘He wasn’t the father.’ Jack told him quickly, knowing exactly what Ianto was about to ask. ‘We’ve never been more than friends.’ he added, his eyes resting on Ianto’s meaningfully. Jack knew that Ianto harboured a deep resentment toward the Doctor and no matter how many times he told him that they were just friends Ianto wouldn’t let it go.

 

Ianto glanced away. ‘You left us for him though ....’ he whispered.

 

‘I came back.’ Jack replied quickly. ‘I came back for  _you_  remember?’ he said pressing a kiss to Ianto’s temple.

 

Ianto laughed lightly. ‘That worked out well didn’t it?’ he replied scornfully. ‘We never even got that date you promised me.’

 

‘No I guess not ....’ Jack replied sadly, wishing things were different. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to date him, be in a real relationship, it’s just that he knew inevitably it wouldn’t work. He wasn’t normal so they could never be a normal relationship. Jack feared getting too close to anyone, knowing one day he’d lose them, and for a long time after he discovered his immortality he hadn’t let himself. Ianto was different though, Jack knew that from the first moment he’d laid eyes on him. When Jack was with him he could forget his troubles, forget the massive responsibility he bore every day, forget he was immortal. Ianto made him feel normal and that was something he treasured.

 

Ianto sat up slightly and gazed down at Jack. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you could have children?’ he asked.

 

Jack stared up at him and thought for a few moments before he spoke. ‘If you want me to be honest,’ he eventually replied, ‘I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to freak you unnecessarily.’

 

‘How do you mean?’ Ianto asked with a slight frown.

 

‘I never planned on getting pregnant and I didn’t realise it would be possible with a 21st century man anyway.’ Jack replied.

 

‘Understandable I guess.’ Ianto mumbled.

 

Another few moments of silence past, Ianto’s eyes swept the length of Jack’s body. ‘Can I?’ he asked the temptation to much to bear. Jack nodded slightly and he couldn’t help but smile as Ianto’s warm hand slid over his stomach. ‘There’s a definite difference.’ Ianto whispered. ‘Not as firm as it was.’ he added thoughtfully.

 

‘Hey.’ Jack said swatting him playfully. 'Are you saying I'm fat?'

 

Ianto chuckled. ‘Well it's either our baby growing or all those biscuits you’ve been having with your coffee.’ he teased.

 

Jack just smiled. ‘Soon it will be noticeable.’ he said gazing up at Ianto.

 

‘How big will you get?’ Ianto asked stroking his fingers across his stomach fondly.

 

‘Not as a big as a woman but pretty big.’ Jack told him. 'You won't fancy me anymore when I'm big.' he added grumpily. 

 

'Of course I will.' Ianto just laughed.  'Maybe even more.' he added.

 

'Really?' Jack asked.

 

Ianto nodded. ‘I still can’t believe you’re really carrying our child.’ he laughed happily.

 

‘ _Your_  child.’ Jack gently reminded him.

 

Ianto eye’s rested on his. ‘She’ll always be ours Jack.’ he whispered.

 

Jack craned his neck up and pressed a kiss to Ianto’s lips; the kiss was warm and tender rather than rushed and lustful as Ianto was used to. ‘You’ll take good care of her won’t you?’ Jack asked as they drew apart. ‘Promise me you won’t let any harm come to her.’

 

Ianto kissed Jack desperately. ‘I really think she’ll need both of us.’ he urged.

 

‘No.’ Jack said adamantly. ‘I can’t bring her up Ianto what happens when she gets older and I still look the same how do I explain that to her?’

 

‘Doesn’t matter, you’re her father and she’ll love you no matter what.’ Ianto replied.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘I can’t stand by and watch her grow old and die. I just can’t do it.’

 

Ianto slid down the bed and pressed a warm kiss to Jack’s stomach. ‘Jack that’s years and years away …’ he mumbled glancing up at him.

 

‘Not for me.’ Jack mumbled. ‘The years just go by so quickly for me. A decade passes in the blink of an eye.’

 

Ianto’s eyes searched Jack’s. ‘It’s why you won’t let us be anything more than what we are isn’t it?’

 

Jack encouraged Ianto back up into his arms and kissed him softly. ‘We’ve been doing this for years but for me it still feels new. I’m scared of how I feel about you, because it’s different than anything else I’ve ever known. I know I should treat you better, I know I should treasure what we have because one day you’ll be gone …’

 

Ianto closed his eyes and pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s lips. ‘Treasure her then.’ he said stroking his hand over Jack’s stomach. ‘You’ll regret it forever if you give her up … if you give us up.’

 

Jack closed his eyes, but this didn't stop the tears which seeped out from underneath his closed eye lids. ‘I didn’t mean what I said earlier …’ he whispered. ‘In fact the opposite is true.’ he confessed.

 

Ianto studied Jack. ‘Are you saying what I think you are?’ he asked a little taken aback.

 

Jack bit his bottom lip; he was scared because admitting it as it would change everything. ‘Ianto …’ he breathed.

 

‘Jack. Do you love me?’ Ianto asked boldly. Jack didn’t move or say anything. ‘Jack.’ Ianto begged, just needing an answer no matter what it was. He just needed to know where he stood. Where they stood. Jack closed his eyes and nodded his head ever so slightly. Ianto’s lips twitched into a smile. ‘The same way that you love the others?’ he asked.

 

‘No.’ Jack whispered.

 

Ianto’s stomach started to flutter. ‘The same way you feel about the Doctor?’ he asked.

 

Jack closed his eyes. ‘Ianto I’ve told you a hundred times I’m not in love with him.’

 

Ianto laid his head back down on Jack’s chest - so Jack did love him after all, his pulse quickened at the thought. ‘Say it … please. I need to hear you say it.’ he begged.

 

‘Can’t.’ Jack refused with a shake of his head. His arms folded around Ianto. ‘Please. I can’t.’

 

‘Why not?’ Ianto asked. ‘I love y-’ he started to say.

 

‘Don’t.’ Jack said shaking his head. ‘You can’t. Don’t let yourself.’

 

‘It’s too late Jack.’ Ianto replied. ‘I’ve been in love with you for years. I didn't feel this way from the beginning - God I couldn’t stand you at first!’ he chuckled. ‘I thought you were so cocky, so big-headed but then I got to know the real you.’

 

‘So despite everything, despite Lisa, despite the fact I left you still love me?’ Jack asked unable to believe it.

 

‘Yes Jack!’ Ianto laughed. ‘How can I not? You’re perfect.’

 

Jack smiled and cupped Ianto’s face. ‘You mean that?’ he asked searching his eyes for any trace of doubt but there was none.

 

Ianto nodded slightly, he leant forward and tried to kiss Jack but Jack turned his head away. Ianto drew back. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

 

‘I’m glad I know how you really feel.’ Jack said shifting away from him.

 

‘What do you mean?’ Ianto asked with a slight frown.

 

‘I’m glad because now I know for sure what I’m walking away from.’ Jack replied, unable to look Ianto in the eye.

 

‘What?!’ Ianto cried. ‘Oh Jack you haven’t changed your mind have you?!’

 

Jack shook his head. ‘No.’ he replied firmly.

 

Ianto hung his head and sighed deeply; he thought things were different now, Jack had told him he loved him - surely that meant something? ‘Is there anything I can say?’ he asked.

 

‘No.’ Jack replied. 

 

Ianto sighed heavily. ‘Maybe I should go.’ he sighed, wriggling to the edge of the bed.

 

‘Don’t go.’ Jack whispered, almost begging.

 

Ianto glanced over at him. ‘How can I stay now?’ he asked. 

 

‘Please.’ Jack begged. ‘We’ve only got a couple of hours until the others come in, just stay. Please.’ he said his hand stroking down Ianto’s bare back.

 

Ianto shivered with desire at Jack’s touch; he knew he should get up and leave but when it came to Jack he was weak. Ianto caved and slid back under the covers.

 

Jack’s arms slid around him and he pulled him on top of him, kissing him deeply. Ianto moaned into the lustful kiss, his hands running down the sides of Jack’s body. ‘We can’t Jack ...’ Ianto murmured as his lips clamped around the base of his neck, sucking the firm flesh into his mouth. ‘Jack ...’ he moaned wanting to protest. This was the last thing they should be doing this, especially since Jack had made it clear there was no future for them, but it just felt too good - too right.

 

\---

Ianto rolled his hips taking Jack deeper inside of his own body. ‘Jack ...’ he husked gazing down at his lover with black lust-filled eyes. ‘We can’t keep doing this, you know that right?’ he said moaning slightly as Jack started to thrust into him building up a deep penetrating rhythm. ‘We have to let each other go now otherwise I don’t think I’ll be able to walk away from you.’

 

‘I know.’ Jack panted, gripping Ianto’s hips tightly. ‘I know.’ he nodded. 

 

Ianto placed his hands on his firm chest and rocked back and forth. Jack’s fingers tangled through Ianto’s sweat streaked hair and then clawed down his back. Ianto’s breaths turned to a short, heavy, rasping pant. ‘Jack …’ he moaned. ‘Need to kiss you …’ he begged.

 

Jack sat up awkwardly, his hand slid around Ianto’s neck and pulled him down into a tantalisingly slow kiss. Ianto eventually pulled away and drew back gasping for air. ‘I can’t.’ he moaned on the verge of release. Jack thrust hard, repeatedly hitting that sweet spot deep inside of his lover.  ‘There, right there!’ Ianto cried desperately, clinging to Jack as he spiralled toward ecstasy. Ianto closed his eyes as everything went white. ‘Fuck!’ he groaned, coming hard between their hot sweaty bodies.

 

Jack came moments after Ianto, the feel of Ianto’s body shuddering and pulsing around him tipping him over the edge. He came deep inside of Ianto, a low satisfied groan escaping his lips as he thrust his way through his orgasm.

 

Jack held him close as he slowly withdrew, the two of them sighing with contentment at the finality of it.

 

Jack stroked his fingers down the curves of his body appreciatively; Ianto eventually drew back and laid down on the bed beside him. Jack glanced at Ianto and smiled. ‘You’re completely spent aren’t you?’ he asked amused.

 

‘Mmmmm yeah ….’ Ianto groaned satisfactorily. Jack wound his arms around him and cuddled him tight. ‘Are you scared?’ Ianto whispered his head on Jack’s chest as his thoughts returned to the baby he was carrying.

 

‘Yes.’ Jack mumbled. It was an understatement - he was terrified, of losing her, of losing Ianto.

 

‘Me too.’ Ianto replied trembling slightly.

 

Jack kissed his temple and laughed breathily. ‘You’ll be a wonderful father.’ he whispered reassuringly.

 

The hairs on the back of Ianto’s neck rose and his body shivered with desire; he closed his eyes and breathed in Jack’s exotic scent. ‘Will she have your abilities?’ he asked.

 

‘No.’ Jack said shaking his head. ‘My immortality is not inheritable although she may obtain some of my other traits, 51st century pheromones that sort of thing.’ he explained.

 

Ianto glanced up at Jack. ‘The boys won’t be able to resist her, especially if she inherits your looks too.’ he smiled.

 

Jack grinned. ‘Hopefully she gets a little of your Welsh charm too.’

 

Ianto smiled slightly. ‘How has it come to this?’ he asked Jack. ‘You and I discussing what our daughter will grow up to be like. If you’d have told me this was going to happen I’d have never have believed it!’ he laughed.

 

A sadness washed over Jack as he thought about Freya - what would she have grown up to look like? he wondered.

 

Ianto pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s lips. ‘We love each other, we love her, isn't that worth a shot?’ he asked. Jack desperately wanted to kiss Ianto back but wouldn’t allow himself. Ianto didn’t relent easily and tried to persuade him into kissing him back. Eventually, it was obvious Jack wasn’t going to give in. Ianto drew back and sighed heavily. ‘I can’t do this anymore Jack. This is it. You give us up now, that’s it for good. I won’t ask anymore.’

 

Jack clutched Ianto’s hand. ‘Thank you.’ he whispered glad that Ianto had finally accepted his decision.

 

‘What do I say to her when she asks about her mother?’ Ianto asked.

 

Jack sighed heavily. ‘Tell her anything but the truth.’ he replied.

 

Ianto eye’s swept over Jack’s. ‘What about you? You can’t honestly think you can simply cut yourself off from us and pretend we don’t exist?’

 

‘It will be hard at first, but I’ll cope.’ Jack told him. ‘I’ll have too.’

 

Ianto closed his eyes, tiredness finally catching up with him. He couldn’t be bothered to argue anymore over it; all he could hope was that Jack would see sense and change his mind.

 

Jack swallowed hard. ‘Ianto ... there is something you should know ...’

 

‘Mmm ...’ Ianto mumbled as he dozed off, his hands stroking slowly over Jack’s slightly swollen belly.

 

Jack swallowed hard. ‘When I was pregnant before …’ he started to say, knowing that he had to tell Ianto about Freya, he wanted their daughter to know she had a sister. ‘Yan?’ he asked, but Ianto had fallen into a deep sleep.

 

Jack sighed softly. ‘I guess it will have to wait.’ he mumbled, settling down to sleep himself knowing that when morning came Ianto would not be there.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ianto woke late the next morning and struggled to fight the urge to go back to sleep; he stared up at the ceiling listening to the sound of the water rushing down the tower above. Ianto sighed heavily - so much had changed in such a short space of time he wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Ianto turned on his side and studied Jack who was still sound asleep. Ianto’s eyes swept down the smooth white skin of his back before darting over the smattering of freckles that crossed his shoulders. Ianto knew this was the last time that he’d see Jack like this, sleeping peacefully beside him. Ianto knew he should go, but allowed him to watch Jack contently for a few moments. He wished things could be different … he wished Jack would just see sense.

 

Jack stirred slightly, he rolled over and his eyes slid open slightly. ‘Ianto ….?’ he mumbled surprised to see him still there.

 

Ianto bent his head down and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to Jack’s lips. ‘Go back to sleep cariad.’ he whispered stroking his hair line fondly. ‘You need your rest.’

 

‘Mmm …’ Jack mumbled sleepily, and his eyes drifted shut once more. Ianto reluctantly eased out of the warm bed and started to dress. Jack shivered slightly in his sleep due the loss of Ianto’s body heat. He rolled over, burying his head in Ianto’s pillow. Ianto finished dressing and then grabbed the quilt and pulled it over Jack. He pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s temple. ‘I wish things could be different.’ he whispered before turning away and climbing out of the bunker.

 

\---

 

When Tosh entered the hub later that morning she found Ianto at his desk staring at his computer screen; she could tell he wasn’t paying attention to what was on it as his eyes had a rather glazed look about them and he was biting his finger nails which was something she knew Ianto only did when he was deep in thought.

 

‘Hi.’ Tosh said, causing Ianto to look up suddenly - he’d clearly not heard her come in despite the sound of the sirens sounding and the creaking of the huge cog-wheel door rolling open when she entered. ‘How are you feeling today?’ she asked uneasily.

 

Ianto shrugged. ‘Okay I guess.’ he replied.

 

Tosh chewed her bottom lip. ‘What you said yesterday … you didn’t mean it did you?’ she asked anxiously as she removed her coat and hung it over the back of her chair. ‘You don’t really want Jack to have a termination surely?’

 

Ianto sighed and shook his head. ‘No, of course not. Yesterday, I was all over the place and … God I can’t believe I said that!’ he cried, hating himself for saying it.

 

Tosh crossed the hub and wrapped her arms around Ianto. ‘You weren’t thinking straight, I know you’d never really want that. The circumstances aren’t exactly desirable but you’re going to be a  _father_ Ianto …’ she enthused.

 

Ianto smiled slightly. ‘It still hasn’t sunk in, I mean Jack? Pregnant? It’s just in sane!’ he laughed.

 

‘Have you spoken to him since yesterday?’ Tosh asked gently.

 

‘I’m going to put the coffee on.’ Ianto said avoiding her question. ‘Where are Gwen and Owen?’ he asked glancing at his watch - even they weren’t usually this late.

 

‘Another weevil body showed up this morning they’ve gone to deal with it before the police get too nosy.’ Tosh told him. ‘They figured it would be best to leave Jack here after last time.’

 

Ianto just nodded his head and wandered off to the kitchen. Tosh got up and followed. ‘You didn’t answer my question.’ she said, leaning against the kitchen door frame.

 

Ianto glanced at her. ‘Yes I’ve spoken to Jack.’ he replied.

 

‘What did you say?’ Tosh asked.

 

‘Tosh.’ Ianto growled defensively. ‘I don’t really want to talk about it okay?’

 

Tosh sighed. ‘Sorry, I’m not being nosy Ianto … I just want to help.’

 

Ianto fiddled with the coffee machine, deliberately not looking at Tosh. ‘I told him that I want him to keep the baby.’ he eventually replied.

 

‘You did?’ Tosh grinned happily. ‘What did he say?’ she asked.

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘He already knew, sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself.‘ he replied. ‘We talked, argued and then talked a bit more … we’re keeping her Tosh.’ he said glancing at her uneasily.

 

‘That’s brilliant!’ Tosh cried, she crossed the room and tried to hug him once more.

 

Ianto stepped away from her and shook his head. ‘No it’s not …’ he mumbled. ‘By making that decision I’ve lost any chance of a future with Jack.’ he told her.

 

‘I don’t understand?’ Tosh asked frowning slightly.

 

Ianto’s eyes snapped up to meet Tosh’s. ‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he asked. ‘I can’t have both … it’s Jack or our daughter.’

 

‘But … but …’ Tosh started to reply.

 

Ianto sighed irritably. ‘Jack is going to give birth and then hand her over to me. Then I’m leaving.’ he told her matter-of-factly.

 

‘No.’ Tosh said shaking her head. ‘No! You can’t just leave!’

 

Ianto‘s eyes met hers. ‘What did you expect Tosh? That we’d be one happy family?’ he scoffed, although it hurt to do so.

 

‘I … I don’t know, but surely you can work something out?’ Tosh asked. ‘You don’t want to leave do you?’

 

‘I have to.’ Ianto replied miserably. ‘Jack’s decided that’s what he wants and you know how he is when he’s made his mind up over something.’ he added with a weary shake of his head.

 

‘You don’t agree though right?’ Tosh asked watching as Ianto turned his attention back to his beloved coffee machine.

 

Ianto shrugged. ‘Maybe …’ he sighed. ‘I don’t really know.’

 

Tosh leant against the counter. ‘Please Ianto be straight with me, what do you want?’ she asked.

 

Ianto glanced at her. ‘Doesn’t matter does it?’ he said grabbing the cup of decaffeinated coffee he’d prepared for Jack and heading out of the office. Ianto crossed the hub and let himself into Jack’s office. Jack was sitting at his desk, one hand on his stomach and one hand on his forehead. ‘What’s wrong?’ Ianto asked a little alarmed to him in such a way - his face was a worrying shade of green.

 

‘Just morning sickness …’ Jack mumbled queasily. ‘Last time I got it quite badly in the early stages.’ he replied.

 

Ianto’s panic died down and turned to concern. ‘Can I get anything to help?’ he asked. ‘Some water?’ he suggested.

 

Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘Thank you.’ he mumbled closing his eyes, the bright lights of the hub hurt them.

 

Ianto set down the coffee, quickly headed back to the kitchen and prepared a cold glass of water which he then took back to Jack’s office. Jack was pale and had dark circles under his eyes, his hair sticking up from where he’d run his fingers through it. ‘Look at you. ‘ Ianto teased, pulling his hair straight. ‘A little sickness and you fall to pieces.’ he tutted playfully.

 

Jack just smiled slightly at him. ‘I don’t get ill do I?’ he replied. ‘And right now I feel bloody awful.’ he said reaching for the glass of water Ianto had set down in front of him.

 

‘Have you eaten yet?’ Ianto asked.

 

‘Can’t face it.’ Jack said shaking his head.

 

‘You should try, it might settle your stomach.’ Ianto replied.

 

‘Or make me feel more sick.’ Jack grumbled.

 

‘I’ll could make you some toast?’ Ianto offered. ‘I’m sure we’ve got an old toaster stuffed at the back of one of the cupboards in the kitchen; maybe even some jam too if you’re lucky.’

 

Jack nodded. ‘Thanks.’ he smiled gratefully. Ianto turned to leave, but Jack stopped him by calling his name. Ianto turned to face him. Jack glanced down at his paperwork, unable to look Ianto in the eye. ‘About last night …’ he mumbled awkwardly.

 

‘It’s okay I understand that there won’t be a repeat performance.’ Ianto replied stiffly.

 

‘It’s not that I don’t want to.’ Jack replied. ‘I do … I just know it will make things harder when you do leave. We should separate now and get used to it.’ he explained. ‘I think it’s for the best.’

 

Ianto nodded his head slightly. ‘Okay.’ he agreed rather reluctantly. ‘You don’t regret what you said though do you?’ he asked fearfully. ‘You meant it?’

 

Jack’s eyes rested on Ianto’s. ‘Of course I meant it.’ he replied.

 

Ianto smiled and nodded before turning and heading out of the room. Jack watched him go; he was so tempted to go after him, gather him up in his arms and kiss him, tell him he’d changed his mind that he wanted to be with him and raise their child together - but he knew he couldn’t.

 

\----

 

Ianto sat down at his desk after having prepared Jack some toast. ‘They’ve been gone a long time, I hope they’re okay?’ he said referring to Gwen and Owen.

 

‘I’ve just heard from Owen.‘ Tosh replied. ‘They’ve got the weevil, now they’re just fobbing off the police.’ she told him.

 

Ianto just nodded; his gaze drifted over to Jack’s office and he watched him working whilst munching on his toast. Tosh caught the wistful look in his eye, she opened her mouth to say something. ‘Don’t.’ Ianto muttered shaking his head.

 

Tosh got up. ‘I can’t believe you’re really going to go through with this, Jack either … does he really think he’ll be able to give his baby up?’ she asked.

 

‘He thinks it will be safer for her to be with me, he thinks Torchwood is cursed. I guess I understand where he‘s coming from, I mean no-one has ever lived long in this job have they?’

 

‘Well it’s not like she’ll be working for us. You can keep her and Torchwood separate.’ Tosh reasoned.

 

Ianto sighed and shook his head. ‘You think so?’ he asked. ‘I don’t. It’s not realistic Tosh. What if we have an invasion, what if we both get injured or I get killed? What if Jack goes off with the Doctor again?’

 

Tosh shook her head sadly. ‘Ianto …’

 

Ianto put his head in his hands. ‘It’s such a mess Tosh.’ he cried.

 

Tosh rubbed her hand over Ianto’s shoulder soothingly. ‘What do  _you_ want Ianto?’ she asked.

 

Ianto lifted his head, revealing the tears in his eyes. ‘I want him to be in her life.’ he confessed. ‘I want us both to raise her.’

 

‘Do you want to be with him?’ Tosh asked gently.

 

Ianto nodded his head. ‘I know I always pretend that I don’t have feelings for him but …’

 

Tosh nodded. ‘It’s okay. I know why you do it Ianto, sometimes it’s easier to pretend than to admit your real feelings.’

 

Ianto rubbed away his tears. ‘He told me he loved me last night …’ he told her.

 

Tosh’s eyes widened with surprise, but a delighted smile crossed her lips. ‘He did?!’

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘I never thought he would ever feel that way for me, and I think knowing has just made things so much harder.’

 

‘Did you say it back?’ Tosh asked.

 

Ianto nodded his head slightly. ‘Yeah I did …‘ he replied. ‘I told him I loved him and that wasn’t enough.’ he said sniffing back more tears that threatened to escape. ‘Why wasn’t that enough Tosh?’ he asked gazing up at her.

 

‘Oh Ianto!’ Tosh cried wrapping her arms around him. ‘Jack isn’t thinking straight, he’s just a mess of hormones at the moment he’ll see sense don’t you worry.’

 

‘He won’t.’ Ianto mumbled. ‘I just know he won’t.’

 

‘You don’t know that …’ Tosh soothed. ‘If he loves you, he’ll want you to stay.’

 

‘No.’ Ianto said shaking his head. ‘It’s because he loves me that he wants me to go.’ he explained. ‘He thinks he’ll be protecting me that way. He wants me and our daughter as far away from Torchwood as he can get us.’

 

‘You’ve got to try and talk to him.’ Tosh urged.

 

‘I’ve tried!’ Ianto cried. ‘God Tosh I’ve really tried but he won’t have it. He just won’t have it.’

 

Tosh got up an fetched Ianto a tissue from the box on her desk. ‘Please don’t cry Ianto.’ she begged hating to see her friend so upset.

 

Ianto began to sob. ‘All I want is for him to tell me he’s changed his mind, to kiss me, to tell me he loves me and that he wants the three of us to be a family but that’s never going to happen is it?’

 

Tosh hugged Ianto close as he cried into her shoulder. She rocked him gently from side to side. ‘Things will work out you’ll see, you love each other that’s got to be enough.’ she whispered positively.

 

‘It’s not Tosh …’ Ianto mumbled. ‘Not for him anyway. I wish I didn’t love him.’

 

‘No you don’t, don’t say that.’ Tosh whispered.

 

‘I do. It would make things easier.’ Ianto muttered. Ianto suddenly drew back and wiped his eyes. ‘I don’t want the others to see me like this.’ he said conscious of the fact Gwen and Owen would be back soon.

 

‘Let me take you home.’ Tosh urged. ‘You need some rest, you look exhausted.’

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘Are you sure I’m not needed here?’ he asked.

 

‘We’ll cope.’ Tosh smiled. ‘Here.’ she said handing him her car keys. ‘Go and get in, I’ll just be a minute.’

 

Ianto nodded. ‘Thanks Tosh.’ he mumbled getting up and grabbing his coat. Ianto wandered out of the hub; he just wanted to get home, away from the hub and away from Jack. Just looking at him made his heart ache.

 

Tosh knocked on the door to Jack’s office and entered when she heard him call for her to come in.

 

‘Everything okay?’ Jack asked glancing up from the paper work he was struggling his way through.

 

‘Not really.’ Tosh replied with a weary sigh. ‘I’m taking Ianto home.’

 

‘Why? What’s wrong?’ Jack asked in alarm.

 

‘He’s very upset.’ Tosh replied. ‘Understandably.’ she added.

 

‘He told you then.’ Jack mumbled back down at the papers.

 

‘Yes.’ Tosh replied. ‘Jack I -’ she started to say.

 

‘I don’t need your opinion Tosh.’ Jack growled. ‘I’ve decided and that’s that. It’s for the best.’

 

‘I don’t agree, you think you’re protecting them this way? You’re not. You are the best protection they’ll ever have Jack.’ Tosh implored.

 

Jack closed his eyes. ‘Tosh, I know what I’m doing.’ he said firmly.

 

‘You can’t honestly think you can just give birth and hand your child over to Ianto and never see either of them again?!’

 

‘I’ll cope.’ Jack muttered.

 

‘What about Ianto? You love him don’t you? Why don’t you think about what he wants?’ Tosh argued.

 

‘He doesn’t understand.’ Jack snapped. ‘Take him home Tosh, tell him he can take as much time off as he needs to get his head around this because I can’t have him here if it's going to cause complications.’

 

‘You can’t expect him to just accept it!’ Tosh shouted angrily.

 

‘Tosh.’ Jack muttered glaring up at her. ‘I think you should be careful how much more you say, this is between me and Ianto.’

 

‘He’s my friend.‘ Tosh replied stubbornly. ’Do you think I like seeing him so upset?’

 

‘You think I do?!’ Jack argued standing up. ‘Just get out of here.’ he snapped angrily. Tosh got up and flounced off, slamming the office door behind her.

 

Jack flopped back down into his chair, his heart was hammering and he felt extremely nauseous. Jack took a couple of deep breaths trying to calm himself down, but his whole body shook with anger - he was angry at Tosh for intervening, angry at Ianto for not being able to see that he was just trying to do what was best and angry at himself for upsetting the only person he’d ever loved so badly.

 

Jack pressed a small button on his ear piece which activated the comms. ‘Owen I need you back here.’ he said worriedly.

 

‘Jack? Are you okay?’ Owen asked, he and Gwen were in the SUV on their way back to the hub with the Weevil corpse in the back.

 

‘I just don’t feel right.’ Jack mumbled closing his eyes as the room began to spin.

 

‘Two seconds Jack, hold on.’ Owen said putting his foot down and speeding his way through the Cardiff streets back toward the hub.


	7. Chapter 7

‘I’ve already told you Owen.’ Jack growled impatiently. ‘I just felt dizzy and a bit sick but by the time you got back it had passed.’ he told him for what felt like the hundredth time. He was perched on the edge of the metal table that sat in the middle of the autopsy bay; Owen had directed him down there the moment he’d and Gwen had got back to the hub. The first thing he had done was run an ultrasound to check on the baby who both he and Jack were relieved to find was fine. It wasn't that Jack didn't appreciate Owen's concern, he was just hot and tired and wanted to be alone.

Owen sighed, this was the fourth time he’d asked Jack to describe his symptoms and the fourth time Jack had been very un-helpful. He could tell Jack was worried sick and that going through what had happened wasn’t helping, but he needed to know so that he could help him.‘So how long the symptoms persist for?’ he asked.

Jack shrugged. ‘Dunno …’ he mumbled un-helpfully. ‘Few minutes I guess.’

Owen jotted this down quickly and then tossed his notebook to one side. ‘What happened before the symptoms arose?’he asked crossing his arms and staring at Jack hard.

Jack glanced away. ‘Nothing important.’ he replied with a half-hearted shrug.

‘Jack.’ Owen barked, annoyed with his lack of clarity. ‘Tell me the truth. I can’t help you unless I have all the facts.’

Jack sighed heavily. ‘I was arguing with Tosh.’ he reluctantly answered.

Owen frowned slightly. ‘Tosh?’ he asked. ‘What were you arguing about?’

Jack swung his legs back and forth idly - he really didn‘t want to go into much detail. ‘She was sticking her nose in where it wasn’t wanted.’ he muttered. Owen’s eyebrows just rose slightly. Jack sighed. ‘What does it matter anyway?’ he asked irritably. ‘All I want to know is that she’s okay.’ he said gazing down at the scan that Owen had printed out for him.

‘Like I said she’s fine,’ Owen replied with a nod, ‘but you need to take better care of yourself Jack.’ he urged. ‘Your blood pressure was through the roof and if you’re not careful you could do some serious harm to the both of you.’ he warned.

Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘Just tell me what I have to do Owen and I’ll do it.’ he said glancing up at him.

‘Rest, eat properly and don’t let yourself get so worked up.’ Owen instructed. ‘Stress isn’t good for either of you.’

Jack just nodded again; he stared back down at the picture of his unborn child and stroked his finger over the image fondly. ‘Do you think I should tell Ianto about this?’ he asked glancing up at Owen. ‘I don’t want to worry him.’

‘I think he has a right to know,’ Owen replied, ‘and God knows he’s the only one that might be able to get you to behave.’ he added shrilly. ‘Speaking of Ianto …’ he continued. ‘Things got pretty heated yesterday … have you seen him since?’ he asked delicately.

‘You could say that.’ Jack had to stop himself from saying at the same time trying not to blush as thoughts of the previous evening flashed through his mind. ‘He didn’t mean what he said.’ he told Owen.

‘Of course he didn’t.’ Owen replied with a roll of his eyes - they all knew that. Ianto wasn’t that sort of person to force Jack into having a termination and he could only assume that it was the shock of finding out Jack was pregnant that had caused him to say such a thing in the first place. ‘I assume that you’re not considering getting rid of it then?’ he asked.

Jack shook his head. ‘I can’t get rid of her Owen. I just can’t despite how difficult it makes things.’ he replied not taking his eyes off the picture in his hands.

Owen smiled slightly. ‘Well I’m glad you’ve made up your mind,’ he replied, ‘and for the record I think it’s the right one.’ he added patting him on the back.

Jack was a little surprised that Owen felt this way - he was sure that he would be more worried about the practicalities of having a pregnant man in 21st Century Cardiff but decided not to question him. Jack slid off the table and stretched, his shoulders were incredibly tense and his back ached. ‘Can I go now?’ he asked wavering slightly, wondering if Owen had finished prodding and poking him.

Owen nodded. ‘I want to take regular blood pressure readings though just to be on the safe side, so no taking this off okay?’ he said tapping the metal band he’d placed around Jack’s wrist - it was adapted from alien technology and allowed Owen to take constant measurements of Jack’s blood pressure, the cuff would also alert him if his blood pressure rose or fell outside a healthy range.

Jack nodded his head and then made his way back up the stairs and out of the autopsy bay. Ignoring Gwen, who’d been at the top of the stairs listening, Jack made his way to his office and sat back down, the scan still clutched in his hands. He sat for a long time and studied every detail of the picture.

‘Can I see?’ Gwen asked.

Jack glanced up, he’d sensed her hovering in the doorway some time ago but didn’t bother to say anything. Jack nodded slightly; Gwen crossed the room, took the scan that Jack held out to her and studied it. ‘Still can’t get my head around this …’ she murmured. ‘Actually it’s more you and Ianto I can’t get my head around.’ she confessed handing him back the scan.

Jack didn’t really know what to say, he just shrugged his shoulders slightly. ‘We’re not together now so just forget about it.’ he eventually replied.

Gwen drew back the chair that sat opposite Jack’s desk and sat down without invitation. ‘You’re keeping it then.’ she said matter-of-factly.

‘Her.’ Jack replied firmly. ‘And yes we are.’

‘How is that going to work if you two aren’t together?’ Gwen asked skeptically.

Jack shook his head. ‘There isn’t any need to worry about that.’ he replied. ‘Ianto is leaving and taking her with him when she’s born.’ he told Gwen. ‘It’s easier this way. I can’t offer him anything. I can’t offer either of them any kind of future.’ he added regretfully.

‘You want to be with him though don’t you?’ Gwen asked sensing Jack’s depression over the idea of Ianto leaving with their child; she could see that Jack was conflicted - he didn’t really want to give up his child or for Ianto to leave but at the same time believed it was for the best.

‘Doesn’t matter what I want.’ Jack replied avoiding the question. ‘I know what I have to do and that’s that.’

‘But -’ Gwen started to argue.

Jack shook his head. ‘Please Gwen I don’t want to talk any more about it.’ he snapped.

Gwen didn’t say anything and for the next few moments they sat in a tense silence. ‘What about you and me?’ Gwen eventually said breaking the silence. ‘Can we talk about that?’ she asked.

Jack frowned. ‘What do you mean?’ he asked.

Gwen sighed heavily. ‘I thought … well I thought there was something between us. I just don’t know where I stand anymore Jack!’ she cried with exasperation. ‘I mean you’ve been seeing Ianto all this time behind my back!’

Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing. ‘Behind your back?’ he asked in astonishment. ‘Gwen we’re not an item.’ he told her. ‘We never have been and never will be.’

Gwen’s face fell. ‘But -’

‘But what?’ Jack asked interrupting her.

Gwen flushed red. ‘I thought -’

‘You thought wrong.’ Jack retorted before she could finish her sentence. ‘I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression, but I don’t have those sorts of feelings for you and even if I did you’re with Rhys.’ he reminded her.

Gwen chewed her bottom lip. ‘You flirted with me, you’re always flirting with me.’ she mumbled.

Jack laughed. ‘Gwen! Come on! I flirt with Owen and Tosh too but it’s just a bit of fun. I thought you knew that?’

‘What about Ianto? Is that just a bit of fun?’ Gwen asked scornfully.

Jack sighed heavily. ‘No, that’s different.’ he replied.

‘Are you in love with him?’ Gwen asked, fearful he’d confirm what she dreaded to be true. Jack couldn’t be in love with Ianto surely?! He was just the office tea boy! He wasn’t important; he didn’t put his life on the line out in the field everyday like she did; he didn’t have her compassion, her intellect - all he did was file and make bloody coffee! Gwen seethed. What could Jack possibly see in him? How could he possibly prefer him over her?

‘I’ve already told you there is nothing going on between us anymore, besides he’ll be gone in a few months time and I won’t let my feelings, whatever they may be, change that.’ Jack replied.

‘You’re ridiculous.’ Gwen said getting up. ‘You’re just scared. You just think it will be easier to hand the baby over to Ianto because that’s easier than having to deal with this mess yourself.’ she snapped.

Jack got up. ‘How dare you!’ he shouted angrily, causing Gwen to actually jump out of her chair. ‘You have no idea how hard it was to make this decision!’

Upon hearing raised voices, Owen charged through the hub. ‘Oi what did I just tell you about keeping calm!’ he snapped at Jack as he burst into his office finding Gwen and Jack, both on their feet staring each other down.

‘She started it!’ Jack shouted back.

‘I was just saying -’ Gwen started to argue.

‘You haven’t got any right to say anything because this has nothing to do with you!’ Jack interrupted.

‘BOTH OF YOU STOP THIS NOW!’ Owen shouted above them. ‘Gwen get out of here, Jack sit back down and calm yourself down.’ he instructed.

Gwen charged off and Jack sank back down into his chair, breathing heavily. Owen grabbed Jack’s wrist and studied the small screen on the metal cuff Jack was wearing. ‘Blood pressure has already risen and I’ve only let you out of my sight five minutes.' he muttered.

Jack snatched back his hand. ‘Sorry.’ he mumbled.

‘Just put your brain in gear before your mouth.’ Owen replied.

Jack sighed heavily. ‘Alright alright, sorry.’ he mumbled.

‘Can I trust you not to start an argument with anyone else or do I have to baby-sit you all day?’ Owen asked.

Jack rolled his eyes. ‘I already told you she started it.’

‘Let me guess - sticking her nose in where it doesn’t belong?’ Owen asked with raised eyebrows. Jack just nodded his head slightly. ‘You can hardly blame us Jack! A pregnant man isn’t exactly normal and the fact it was tea boy who knocked you up just makes things ten times more confusing.’

Jack sighed, as far as he was concerned that still didn’t give them the right to judge him or the decisions he’d made. Owen shook his head and wandered out of the office. ‘You okay?’ he asked Gwen who was sitting at her desk looking rather angry. Gwen didn’t reply, Owen just sighed and made his way back down to the autopsy bay.

\----  
Jack stared glumly at his paperwork which he really wasn’t in the mood for doing; what he could really do with at the moment was a proper cup of Ianto’s coffee and his company he thought wistfully. Usually when Jack had lots of paperwork to do, Ianto would sit with him and help to make sure it got done. Jack would of course try to distract him, but Ianto wouldn’t let him get away with it. However, he would make all sorts of interesting promises to coax him along.

Jack watched as Tosh entered the hub, she looked rather worried and upset. Jack knew this was over Ianto and felt incredibly guilty. Jack watched as Gwen and Tosh talked in hushed whispers and he knew exactly what the subject of their conversation was. Annoyed, Jack got up and slammed his office door closed and then drew the blinds.

Jack flicked one of the monitors mounted on the wall of his office and scrolled through the CCTV footage of that morning. He stopped abruptly when Tosh put her arm around Ianto as he started to cry; Jack swallowed hard and found it incredibly difficult to watch his, usually so controlled Ianto break down. Jack was suddenly reminded of how young Ianto was, something that usually didn’t cross his mind. Jack stroked his hand over his stomach and chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully - Ianto was still a kid himself compared to his 150+ years. At such young an age he bore so much responsibility and Jack was only adding more. What if Ianto decided he couldn’t cope? Jack thought a little panic stricken. Would he have to raise their child on his own? What about Torchwood?

Jack felt sick with worry, he glanced back up at the CCTV footage which was still playing and his heart ached - he hated seeing Ianto so upset knowing it was all his doing. He couldn’t help but think that if he’d just taken his pills correctly they wouldn’t be in this mess, but that only made him feel guiltier because although unplanned carrying Ianto’s child was something he didn’t regret, he just wished circumstances were different so they could be together. A family.

Jack got up and switched off the monitor - he couldn’t bear to watch anymore. He made his way out of his office and headed down to the autopsy. ‘What’s the range on this thing?’ he asked Owen, gesturing to the wrist band.

‘About five miles why?’ Owen asked glancing up at him with a frown.

‘I want to go and see Ianto.’ Jack replied.

Owen raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure that’s wise? I don’t want you getting into another argument Jack.’

Jack sighed. ‘We’re not at each other’s throats Owen.’ he replied. ‘I swear I won’t argue, I just want to show him this.’ he said gesturing to the scan.

Owen nodded. ‘Alright, but don’t be gone too long I think it’s better if you were here where I can keep an eye on you.’

‘Thanks Owen.’ Jack said charging off.

\----

Ianto was laying on the sofa, feeling thoroughly miserable. When Tosh had dropped him off he’d headed straight for the bathroom and run a deep, hot bath. Now that he was alone, he let himself cry freely. He needed to let it all out before facing the team again, to make sure he had the strength to keep his emotions bottled up. After a long soak, Ianto pulled on his pajamas, grabbed a blanket from his bedroom and wallowed in front of the television. He knew there was no point to it since Jack clearly had no plans to change his mind, but it made him feel better all the same.

Ianto’s head lifted from the cushion and frowned - he was sure he heard his buzzer but who could it possibly be? Thinking it was just a neighbor or that he’d imagined it, Ianto buried his head back in the cushion and sighed deeply. Ianto’s head lifted for a second time a moment or two later - there was someone knocking at his door now. Ianto groaned. ‘Please just go away …’ he mumbled under his breath as he heaved himself off the sofa. Ianto crossed the room and peered out of the spy-hole in his door; he was more than a little surprised to see Jack standing on his doorstep. Ianto pulled open the door and winced at the brightness of the hallway lights. ‘Jack? What are you doing here?’ he asked.

Jack slipped past Ianto and into his flat. ‘I’m sorry Ianto, I hate causing you such misery, I wish there was something I could do but there isn’t.’ Jack gabbled breathlessly.

‘It’s fine.’ Ianto sighed as he shut the front door. ‘I’ll get over it, I’ll have to.’

Jack pulled Ianto close and hugged him to his chest. ‘I’m so sorry.’ he mumbled.

Ianto couldn’t help but bury his head in Jack’s shoulder - he craved him so much at the moment he couldn’t resist despite how much he knew he should try. Ianto breathed him in, relishing the familiarity of his scent, his strong arms and the warmth of his body. ‘It’s just, when you told me you loved me I thought that was the end of all our problems but it’s just the beginning.’ he confessed.

‘Maybe I should have hidden my feelings?’ Jack sighed.

‘No.’ Ianto said shaking his head. ‘I wanted to know, I needed to know.’ he said clinging to Jack tightly. The last thing he wanted was for Jack to take back what he said - it was the only thing that kept him sane.

Jack brushed his lips over Ianto’s temple. ‘I really am sorry, but there is no other way Ianto you have to see that. You’ve got more than enough love to give her for the both of us.’

Ianto shook his head. ‘No I need you, we need you …’ he whispered desperately.

Jack kissed him softly on the lips. ‘And I need you to be safe.’ he told him.

‘We will be safe with you.’ Ianto implored.

‘Ianto … please.’ Jack begged. ‘Don’t do this, it’s killing me.’

Ianto pulled away and sighed heavily. ‘Go, just go Jack.’ he said sitting down and putting his head in his hands.

‘I don’t want to leave you like this. I can see you’ve been crying.’ Jack replied.

Ianto knew there was no point denying it, it was too obvious. ‘I want to be on my own.’ he mumbled.

Jack glanced down and rubbed one of his boots over the other. ‘Sorry, I just …’

Ianto sighed irritably. ‘Just what?’ he snapped.

Jack’s eyes searched his. ‘I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.’ he replied.

‘Well I’m not and there isn’t anything you can do about it.’ Ianto retorted.

‘I’m not here to argue with you.’ Jack said remembering the promise that he’d made to Owen.

‘You’d better go then because I’m really in the mood for one.’ Ianto muttered bitterly.

Jack searched his eyes. ‘You really hate me don’t you?’

Ianto gritted his teeth and wiped away his tears. ‘I hate the fact you’re not even prepared to give us a chance, how can you just throw everything away so easily?’ he asked.

‘Easily?!’ Jack cried. ‘This isn’t easy for me at all Ianto! This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make and you know the kind of decisions I have to make every day of my life.’

Ianto shook his head. ‘Why did you make it so quickly then? You wouldn’t even discuss it with me.’

‘You were the one who told me to get rid of her!’ Jack argued, despite knowing Ianto hadn’t mean that for a second.

Ianto face fell. ‘You know I didn’t mean that!’

Jack glanced down. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to …’

‘What throw it in my face? Use it against me?’ Ianto snapped.

Jack headed for the door. ‘I’ll just go.’ he said knowing that Owen would be on his case if he got into yet another argument. ‘Take the rest of the day off.’ he told Ianto.

‘No it’s fine.’ Ianto protested. ‘I’d rather be working.’

Jack sighed heavily. ‘Fine.’ he muttered heading out of the flat and slamming the door behind him.

Ianto ran his fingers through his hair and wanted to scream with frustration. Jack was so stubborn, once his mind was made up it was like tackling a brick wall. Ianto completely understood where he was coming from, he wanted to protect their daughter too, but as far as he was concerned Jack was the protection any child could ever have.


	8. Chapter 8

Ianto left it a couple of hours before venturing back to the hub; not only did he want to let Jack cool off after their argument but he also wanted to make sure that he’d be able to keep his own emotions under control in front of the team - there was no way he was going to let anyone else see him crack today he’d decided. When Ianto entered the hub, fully composed, he found Gwen staring at her computer screen rather miserably and Tosh working away silently. ‘What’s going on?’ he asked.

 

‘Ianto what are you doing back?’ Tosh asked getting up and heading over to him. ‘You should take the day off.’ she said in a lower voice so that Gwen couldn’t hear her - Ianto was a private person and she knew he wouldn’t want Gwen to find out about his breakdown earlier that morning.

 

Ianto laid his hand on Tosh’s shoulder. ‘I’m okay.’ he smiled positively. ‘Really Tosh I am, but thank you for earlier.’ he added giving her shoulder a tight squeeze.

 

‘If you’re sure.’ Tosh replied dubiously as she made her way back to her desk and sat down.

 

‘Seems rather quiet in here.’ Ianto commented - he’d noticed the distinct lack of sounds that usually filled the hub - Owen and Gwen bickering, Jack’s flirty comments or tuneless whistling. Even Myfanwy seemed quieter than usual.

 

‘Well Jack’s managed to upset just about everyone today.’ Tosh muttered. ‘Now he’s shut himself in his office.’ she added with a weary sigh.

 

Ianto glanced over at Jack’s office to see the door shut and the blinds drawn; he sighed heavily. ‘I’ll try and talk to him.’ he told Tosh.

 

‘Are you sure that’s wise?’ Tosh asked. ‘He’s really not in a good mood, he especially didn’t seem happy when he came back from seeing you … did you two have an argument or something?’ Tosh asked.

 

Ianto shrugged. ‘Sort of …’ he mumbled not really wanting to go into any detail. ‘It’s my fault he’s in this mood, so I guess I’ll have to sort it out.’ he said making a move toward Jack’s office.

 

Just then Owen appeared from the autopsy bay. ‘Ianto? Can I have a word?’

 

‘Now?’ Ianto asked irritably.

 

‘Yes.’ Owen snapped. ‘It’s important.’ he added.

 

‘Alright.’ Ianto sighed, changing direction and crossing the hub over to Owen. ‘What is it?’ he asked following Owen back down to the autopsy bay.

 

Owen sat down on the stone steps and sighed. ‘Jack came to see you this morning.’ he said glancing up at him - it wasn’t really a question, more of a statement as he already knew the answer.

 

Ianto leant against the metal table in the middle of room and nodded slightly. ‘Why?’ he asked wondering what this was all about.

 

‘What did he say?’ Owen asked.

 

Ianto frowned. ‘I can’t see how it’s any of your business?’ he asked crossing his arms defiantly.

 

‘ _Ianto_.’ Owen pushed.

 

Ianto sighed. ‘He just wanted to make sure I was okay.’ he snapped rather irritably. ‘Something wrong with that?’ he asked hoping Owen hadn’t just called him down there to be scornful about their relationship (not that they really had one) he really didn’t have the time or patience for that today.

 

‘Did he say anything else?’ Owen asked.

 

Ianto shrugged. ‘Nothing much.’ he said not really wanting to reveal that they’d in fact had a horrible argument.

 

‘I knew it.’ Owen muttered sighing heavily. ‘I knew he wouldn’t bloody tell you. That man can be such a coward sometimes.’ he grumbled.

 

‘Owen.’ Ianto growled protectively. ‘We both know Jack is far from a coward, now what’s this all about?’ he asked sternly.

 

‘It’s about him almost passing out this morning!’ Owen snapped - he immediately regretted this as he’d wanted to tell Ianto gently so that he wouldn’t panic, but it had come out in his usual blunt manner yet again.

 

Ianto paled and a shiver of fear ran down the length of his spine. ‘What do you mean?!’ he cried panic-stricken. ‘Is he okay? Is the baby okay? Why the hell didn’t he tell me?!’ he cried. ‘I’m going to bloody kill him when I get my hands on him!’ he hissed making a move toward the steps that led up and out of the autopsy bay.

 

‘Wait just a minute; you’re not going anywhere.’ Owen said putting his hands on Ianto’s shoulders and forcing him to stay where he was.

 

Ianto struggled against him - he wanted nothing more than to charge up to Jack‘s office and have a right go at him, how could have not told him? He kept saying that it was his child after all! ‘Just tell me what happened Owen.’ Ianto muttered shrugging Owen off of him.

 

\---

 

After Owen had explained everything, Ianto quickly made his way back upstairs and entered Jack’s office. The room was empty; Ianto instantly knew where this meant Jack was and so crossed the room and climbed down into the bunker that lay below the office. Ianto jumped off the ladder onto the cold stone floor and found Jack lying on his bed. All of the anger and rage he felt toward him quickly drained away when he saw the sorrowful sight that was Jack curled up on his bed with his arms wrapped tightly around him; his eyes were closed but Ianto could tell that he was not asleep. Jack had been crying, Ianto could tell as his eyes were red and his face tear stained, and it broke his heart to see him that way. He knew that for Jack to be so upset the scare he’d had earlier must have really affected him. Wanting nothing more than to comfort him, Ianto slid onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Jack. ‘Oh cariad …’ he sighed softly as he brushed a kiss over the back of his neck.

 

Jack rolled over to face him and his eyes slid open. ‘Ianto?’ he asked a little confused - he thought Ianto would be avoiding him for sure given their previous argument.

 

Ianto pressed a gentle kiss to his lips as he wrapped his arms tightly around him, he knew that it probably wasn’t a good idea after all they’d agreed but it was the only way he knew how to comfort him and he knew that’s what Jack needed now more than ever. Jack was more than surprised, but that did not deter him from kissing Ianto back - the kiss wasn’t lustful, it was loving and affectionate, full or reassurance which they both craved.

 

Ianto slid his hand down Jack’s face and stroked his cheek. Jack sighed into the kiss, and whimpered slightly when Ianto drew back. Ianto rested his forehead against Jack’s and breathed him in. ‘Why didn’t you tell me what happened earlier?’ he asked gently.

 

‘Sorry.’ Jack mumbled. ‘I wanted to … I tried … I felt bad. It was my fault. I could have lost her Ianto.’

 

‘You didn’t.’ Ianto reminded him as he cuddled Jack close. ‘And it wasn't your fault.’ he told him firmly.

 

Jack mumbled in protest as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. ‘It is, it's like my body can’t cope with carrying a baby. I lost Freya what if I lose this one too?’ he asked, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back a sob.

 

Ianto wiped away Jack’s tears gently with the tip of his finger. ‘Freya? Was that her name?’ he asked gently - knowing this was an extremely sensitive subject.

 

Jack’s body stiffened slightly at the mention of her name, he hadn't realised what he'd said. ‘After my mother.’ he admitted nodding slightly.

 

Ianto kissed Jack softly. ‘It’s a lovely name.’ he whispered between tender kisses.

 

‘Beautiful, like she was.’ Jack mumbled sadly. ‘I wish you could have seen her Ianto. She was perfect. I wish you could have held her.’

 

‘It hurts me to think of you going through so much pain.’ Ianto replied.

 

Jack didn’t reply and Ianto didn’t question him any further on the matter, he knew it was far too painful for him and didn’t want to cause him anymore grief. Besides Jack was reluctant to talk about what had happened. Ianto understood but wanted Jack to confide in him, wanted to let him know that he was there for him, to be his shoulder to cry on if necessary but Jack couldn’t right now and Ianto just had to hope in time he would.

 

Jack placed his hand over Ianto’s; he’d been unconsciously stroking his stomach and Jack could tell he was worried. ‘She’s okay Ianto. Owen said so.’ he whispered reassuringly.

 

Ianto slid his fingers through Jack’s. ‘You must have been so scared.’ he sighed wishing he’d been with him. The fact Jack had suffered through the ordeal alone was unbearable.

 

Jack laid his head on Ianto’s chest releasing the comfort of his unfaltering arms. ‘You’re not angry with me are you?’ he asked worriedly.

 

Ianto glanced down at him. ‘No of course not. Like I said it’s not your fault.’ he told him. ‘If anyone it’s mine - I should be taking better care of you, after all I am the one that got you in pregnant in the first place.’ he said with a teasing smile.

 

Jack also smiled. ‘Yeah I guess so.’ he replied. ‘Speaking of which …’ he mumbled shifting over and sliding his hand under the pillow. ‘I forgot to show you this earlier.’ he said handing Ianto the scan Owen had given him. Ianto sat up, took the picture and stared at it in silence. Jack studied him for a few moments and couldn’t quite work out his expression. ‘Makes it all seem so real now doesn’t it?’ he said gently.

 

Ianto swallowed hard. ‘She's our baby Jack.’ he whispered stroking his finger over the picture. ‘Yours and mine alone.’

 

‘Amazing isn’t it?’ Jack whispered gazing at the image fondly.

 

Ianto glanced up at Jack suddenly feeling a rush of adoration for him, this perfect man who could give him something as wonderful as this. Unable to help himself, he slid his hand around the back of Jack’s neck and brought him down into a strong, loving kiss. ‘I love you.’ he said as he drew back. ‘I love you so much.’ he told him.

 

Jack’s body shivered with desire, he desperately wanted to say it back and knew Ianto wanted to hear the words but Jack just couldn’t say them because if he did he wasn’t sure he’d be able to let Ianto go. Instead Jack drew back and took the picture; he pointed to one of the foetus’s appendages. ‘See that there, that’s her arm.’

 

Ianto couldn’t help but feel saddened, Jack had just ignored his declaration and it hurt. Instantly he knew that nothing had changed - Jack was still adamant that they couldn’t be together. ‘I think that’s her leg.’ he said glancing at what Jack was pointing to, too tired to try and persuade him otherwise.

 

‘No that’s her leg there.’ Jack replied moving his finger over slightly.

 

‘Yes and she’ll have two of them.’ Ianto teased playfully. ‘Unless there are some aliens in your family you haven’t told me about?’ he inquired.

 

‘Oh did I forget to mention that my great aunt is a Slitheen?’ Jack asked with an expert arch of his eyebrow.

 

‘You’ve got to be kidding me?!’ Ianto exclaimed laughing helplessly.

 

‘Of course I am.’ Jack giggled. ‘Idiot.’ he said nudging Ianto.

 

‘Me an idiot? At least I can tell the difference between an arm and a leg!’ Ianto replied nudging him back playfully.

 

The two remained curled up together on the bed, warm and content, debating over arms and legs for some time until Ianto started to drift off to sleep. Jack’s body yearned for sleep but he just couldn’t - he was thinking about Freya as he gazed at the picture of their unborn child. He needed to tell Ianto, he had a right to know and Jack wanted him to. He wanted this baby to know that she had a sister so that Freya could never be forgotten. ‘Yan … I need to tell you …’ Jack mumbled deciding now was the time to do it.

 

‘Mmmm … what cariad?’ Ianto mumbled sleepily.

 

Jack took a deep breath. ‘Freya …’ he trailed off unsure of how to tell him the truth. Jack sighed and knew he just had to spit it out. ‘Freya was -’

 

Ianto sat up suddenly at the sound of the alarm upstairs and footsteps running across the floor above them which he knew was Gwen and Owen rushing over to Tosh’s computer. Ianto slid off the bed, quickly climbed up the ladder and pulled himself out of Jack’s bunker; he wandered out of Jack’s office and over to Tosh’s desk where the rest of the team were gathered to see what was going on.

 

Jack sighed heavily before heaving himself off the bed - he’d been ready to bare all, to tell Ianto everything but yet again had been unable to.

 

‘What’s going on?’ Ianto asked staring over Tosh’s shoulder at her computer screen.

 

‘Have a look at this.’ Tosh said pulling up a police report she’d just been alerted to; she glanced up at Ianto and just smiled at the sight of his unbuttoned waistcoat and ruffled hair and hoped it meant he and Jack had worked things out.

 

Owen peered over her shoulder. “Undefined animal carcass.” he quoted from the report.

 

‘Yes and look at the photo.’ Tosh replied scrolling down the page. ‘Looks rather familiar don’t you think?’

 

‘Weevil.’ Owen gritted his teeth. ‘That’s the third one this week. What the hell is going on here?!’ he exclaimed knowing this was not a mere coincidence.

 

Ianto felt Jack’s presence behind him and his heart skipped in response. Jack read the file over his shoulder and sighed heavily. ‘Something is feeding from the weevils.’ he concluded.

 

‘We’ve got to stop it.’ Gwen responded immediately.

 

‘Not being funny, but is it necessarily a bad thing?’ Owen replied glancing around at his team mates. ‘I mean the weevils are a bit of a pest problem in this city.’

 

‘Owen!’ Gwen cried outraged. ‘The weevils came through the rift, it’s not their fault they’re here.’ she reasoned. ‘We're the ones that deal with them if they come up to the surface so I don‘t think it‘s fair to have whatever this thing is out there attacking them.’

 

‘They’re aliens Gwen.’ Owen argued.

 

‘So is the thing that is hunting them.’ Jack cut in before they started bickering. ‘So we need to track it and -’

 

‘Not kill it surely!’ Gwen cried. ‘It’s probably just hungry Jack.’

 

‘Well we can’t have it roaming the streets so if we can’t find away to send it back to where it came from I guess we’ll have to keep it here.’ Jack replied.

 

Gwen smiled and nodded in agreement - there was enough death at Torchwood as it was she’d decided. Ianto just sighed - it was all very well and good Jack and Gwen making these heroic decisions but he was the one that would have to deal with all the practicalities of housing, feeding and exercising a new resident at the hub.

 

‘I don’t think it’s just weevils that this thing is snacking on.’ Tosh muttered. Gwen, Ianto, Owen and Jack all looked at her questionably. ‘While you lot were bickering I ran a search and look at this …’ she said bringing up another file. ‘A woman was taken into A&E this morning, unfortunately she died before they made it to hospital, but check out the report.’

 

Owen quickly skim read the file and studied the autopsy pictures. ‘Shit.’ he muttered knowing instantly from the wounds that it was the same creature. ‘What do you think we’re dealing with here Jack?’ he asked turning away from the screen. ‘Jack?’ he asked, but Jack had his eyes closed and looked rather pale.

 

‘What’s the matter?’ Ianto asked worriedly. ‘Jack?’

 

‘Those pictures …’ Jack mumbled swallowing hard.

 

Tosh quickly closed down the screens containing the autopsy images. ‘Sorry Jack, you can open your eyes now.’

 

Jack glanced at her. ‘Thanks.’ he mumbled a little embarrassed. ‘Sorry bit of a weak stomach.’

 

‘Do you need to sit down?’ Ianto asked.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘Right then let’s get to work.’ he said taking charge before the others started to think his pregnancy was compromising his ability to lead. ‘Gwen, Owen go and deal with the weevil; Tosh map out the location of all the attacks and check hospital records and police reports in case we’ve missed anymore.’

 

‘Will do.’ Tosh nodded setting to work immediately.

 

‘Ianto take Owen’s autopsy report and check the archives to see if we have any matches.’ Jack told him.

 

‘The bite marks were unusually large in diameter and it managed to break through weevil bone so you’re looking for something with a large strong jaw.’ Owen told Ianto. 'Three talons judging by the scratches.' he added.

 

Ianto nodded knowing this would help narrow down his search; he wandered down to the autopsy bay to find Owen’s report. Gwen and Owen grabbed a few pieces of equipment and then headed out of the hub. Jack went to the kitchen to get some water which he gulped down quickly to try and relieve the sickness he felt, he then headed back out to the hub. ‘How are you doing Tosh?’ he asked.

 

‘Shouldn’t take much longer.’ Tosh replied waiting for her computer to finish its search; she glanced up at Jack. ‘I’m so sorry about before Jack, Owen told me what happened. It’s my fault! If I hadn’t have argued with you, if I hadn’t -’

 

‘Tosh.’ Jack replied sternly. ‘We’ve got a job to do.’ he reminded her. Tosh flushed red and quickly turned her attention back to the screen. Jack placed his hand on Tosh’s shoulder. ‘Thank you all the same.’ he replied before wandering off.

 

\---

 

Jack stood in the entrance to the autopsy bay and watched Ianto working; he loved the cute frown on his face and the determined expression he wore as he concentrated. He loved the way his suit clung to his body, silhouetting his gorgeous frame perfectly. Jack sighed happily - he had the love of a good man and his baby would have a wonderful father he thought stroking his slightly swollen stomach. It was such a depressing though to think he wouldn’t be part of it.

 

Ianto suddenly looked up at him. ‘Watching me?’ he asked, with an amused smile.

 

‘Hard to keep my eyes off you.’ Jack replied with a cheeky wink.

 

‘Jack …’ Ianto sighed trying to hide his smile. ‘You know you shouldn’t say things like that.’

 

Jack sighed. ‘I know.’ he mumbled. ‘Sorry about before, you caught me at a bad time.’

 

‘It’s okay, you don't have to hide anything from me.’ Ianto replied turning back to the screen. ‘And us? Are we okay?’ he asked - he desperately didn’t want to get to the stage where they weren’t talking to one another or started to avoid each other.

 

Jack shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. ‘We're okay, but we need to have a proper talk about the future don’t we?’

 

‘I guess so.’ Ianto mumbled.

 

‘Look how about we go out for coffee or a drink later?’ Jack offered. 'If we’re in a public place maybe we’ll actually talk rather than argue.’ he suggested.

 

Ianto smiled slightly. 'Sounds like a good idea.’ he nodded.

 

‘Alright, we’ll sort it out later. Let me know if you find anything.’ Jack said wandering back toward his office. He sat down with a weary sigh and closed his eyes - he was exhausted both physically and mentally. He didn’t know what to do about Ianto - he was weak when it came to him and just didn’t seem capable of resisting him. It wasn’t that he wanted to, it was just he knew that if they didn’t separate themselves now it would only be harder in the long run. Jack glanced out at the hub and tried to image what the place would be like without Ianto. It was impossible, Ianto was part of the very essence of Torchwood just like Tosh, Owen and Gwen were; his team, one he’d hand-picked, was complete and he couldn’t imagine Torchwood running without either one of them, in their own individual ways they were important and irreplaceable. He knew the others, particularly Gwen and Owen only thought of Ianto as the coffee boy but he was so much more than that. Torchwood needed him. Jack needed him. And that was what scared the hell out of him more than anything - more than being a pregnant immortal man in the 21st Century. Jack considered if this was the real reason he was pushing Ianto away - that he was just scared of how deep his feelings ran.

 

Ultimately Jack knew that if he really wanted to, with Ianto’s support, he could have both his baby and still run Torchwood. However, denying this was the easier option. This way Ianto and their child would leave and Jack wouldn’t ever have to see the both of them grow old and die. He wouldn’t be left behind again.

 

Jack sat back in his chair and couldn’t quite believe what he’d just admitted to himself. Now he was more confused than ever.

 

\---

 

An hour later Gwen and Owen returned to the hub with the weevil body. ‘Police were asking questions.’ Owen grumbled as they heaved the body bag containing the weevil through the hub toward the autopsy bay. Jack tried to help them but Owen slapped away his hands and scolded him for even thinking of doing any heavy lifting.

 

Jack followed them and watched as they heaved the body bag onto the metal table in the middle of the autopsy bay. ‘When you’re done with that,‘ Jack said keen to get away before they unzipped the bag and revealed the hideous contents which would only make him feel sick again, ‘I want everyone in the boardroom so we can discuss what we’re dealing with.’ he instructed them.

 

\---

 

Jack paced the boardroom whilst he waited for everyone to arrive and settle in the boardroom. Ianto was the first to arrive and take his seat; he watched as Jack absentmindedly stroked his stomach and couldn’t help but smile - Jack was already attached to their child and it was still early days yet; he was confident that by the time she was born there would be no way Jack could give her up and he could only pray that it meant there was hope for them too.

 

Finally Gwen, Tosh and Owen made their way up to the boardroom and settled in. ‘Right then what have we got?’ Jack asked placing his hands on the table and gazing around at his team.


	9. Chapter 9

‘Ianto!’ Jack laughed. ‘I’ll be fine.’ he protested with a shake of his head.  
  
‘Please Jack I just want to make sure you get back safely.’ Ianto begged. ‘That thing that’s attacking people and weevils is still out somewhere.’  
  
Jack sighed. ‘I know.’ he mumbled feeling rather guilty about that – the team had been out tracking the creature all afternoon but it had evaded them. ‘Besides do know what the odds are me coming across it on my way back to the hub?’  
  
‘Even so.’ Ianto replied. ‘I’m walking with you back to the hub whether you like it or not.’ he told him firmly.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Alright alright.’ he eventually agreed. ‘If it makes you happy.’  
  
‘It does.’ Ianto smiled as they set off together. It was late, almost midnight in fact, and after going out for a few drinks together they’d slowly wandered down the bay talking properly for the first time. ‘We did pretty well tonight don’t you think?’ Ianto asked. ‘Not one cross word between us.’  
  
Jack laughed. ‘Let’s just hope no one over heard our conversation otherwise we’re in big trouble.’  
  
‘No one was anywhere near us.’ Ianto replied reassuringly. Jack shivered slightly and wrapped his coat around him tightly. ‘Do you want my gloves?’ Ianto offered slipping them off and handing them to Jack.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘I’m fine honestly.’ he replied.  
  
‘Don’t be silly.’ Ianto said taking him by the wrist and slipping the black gloves onto his hands. ‘We don’t want you catching a cold now do we?’  
  
Jack just smiled. ‘You’re the one with the red nose.’ he said tapping it playfully.  
  
Ianto just laughed. ‘Well it’s bloody freezing!’ he exclaimed.  
  
They wandered along slowly, neither of them in a rush to get back to the hub because they knew that’s where they’d part for the evening. It was a depressing thought as both wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the night together.  
  
Jack suddenly came to an abrupt halt. Ianto stopped beside him. ‘Jack?’ he asked glancing up at him. ‘Something wrong?’ he asked worriedly.  
  
Jack frowned slightly. ‘I saw something … look there!’ he said pointing to dark shape in the distance. ‘What is it? It isn’t human.’ he added glancing at Ianto meaningfully.  
  
Ianto swallowed and watched as the dark blur moved rapidly toward them. ‘We can’t do anything about it Jack, not without the others.’  
  
‘What if it kills again tonight?’ Jack asked. ‘I can’t live with that on my conscience and I doubt you could either.’  
  
‘We have to call the others then.’ Ianto replied pulling out his phone.  
  
‘Too late look!’ Jack cried as the creature started to run in their direction. ‘It’s seen us!’  
  
Ianto grabbed Jack by the arm and pulled him along as he started to run. Jack held onto Ianto’s hand tightly and kept glancing over his shoulder. ‘It’s gaining on us Ianto!’ he cried desperately.  
  
Ianto’s footsteps thundered across the concrete, he could see the water tower in the distance and if they could make it back there Jack would be safe. That was the only thought in his head – get Jack to safety.  
  
‘Yan!’ Jack panted. ‘I can’t run anymore!’ he cried as he stumbled to a halt.  
  
‘Come on Jack!’ Ianto begged.  
  
‘I can’t.’ Jack urged, his pulse was racing and his head was spinning.  
  
Ianto glanced at Jack worried about how pale he’d become. Ianto glanced around desperately. ‘This way.’ he said pulling him down an alleyway. Jack stumbled along behind him and sighed with relief as he was able to stop and catch his breath. Ianto held Jack close to the wall and shielded his body protectively with his own. ‘Stay still.’ he whispered worried the creature would hear them.  
  
‘Yan?’ Jack asked worriedly, his body trembling.  
  
‘It’s out there.’ Ianto whispered peering around the alley wall and spotting the creature prowling up and down the bay.  
  
Jack’s heartbeat was beating so hard and he still hadn’t quite caught his breath. ‘Yan …’ he moaned feeling incredibly sick. ‘Why didn’t you let me bring my gun?’ he asked. Earlier that evening when they’d been getting ready to go for their drink Ianto had insisted they left their comms and guns at the hub.  
  
‘We’re off duty.’ Ianto snapped.  
  
‘We’re never off duty.’ Jack snapped back. ‘That’s the whole point, that’s why we can never be a normal couple – a normal family.’  
  
Ianto glanced around the wall once more. ‘I’ll distract it, you make your way to the hub.’ he told him.  
  
‘No.’ Jack replied fearfully. ‘Stay here.’ he urged.  
  
‘We can’t stay here, it will find us eventually.’ Ianto replied in a whisper.  
  
‘And how exactly do you plan to distract it without getting yourself killed?!’ Jack hissed.  
  
‘I’ll think of something.’ Ianto snapped.  
  
Jack took Ianto’s hand. ‘Please just stay here with me.’ he begged. ‘We’ll call the others.’  
  
‘I haven’t got any signal.’ Ianto mumbled glancing at his phone screen. ‘We can’t stay here, you need to get to the hub and call Owen to check you over.’  
  
‘Maybe we could sneak across the bay?’ Jack suggested desperately gripping Ianto’s hand.  
  
‘That’s not going to work Jack.’ Ianto said shaking his head.  
  
Ianto peered around the corner and saw the creature sniffing the air, it suddenly turned and looked him right in the eye. Ianto’s heart leapt. ‘Run.’ he said turning to Jack. ‘Run!’ he cried taking Jack’s and tugging him urgently. They sprinted down the alley way which twisted and turned hearing the creature crashing along behind them. They had no idea where they were headed but all they knew was they had to keep running.  
  
Jack spotted a metal spiral staircase at the very end of the alleyway; he glanced up and it appeared to lead up the side of a building to what looked like a fire exit to a block of flats. ‘Ianto this way come on!’ he cried desperately.  
  
Ianto glanced over his shoulder and knew the creature wasn’t about to give up the chase.  
  
‘Go Jack go!’ Ianto cried stumbling to a halt. ‘Get out of here!’  
  
‘Not without you!’ Jack said refusing to go any further without him. ‘Ianto please!’ he begged. ‘I need you.’  
  
Ianto ran toward him, grabbed his outstretched hand and together hurtled toward the stairs. Sprinting up the stairs they eventually reached the top. ‘No!’ Jack cried finding the door firmly closed; he tried to push it open, even tried to kick it open but it wouldn’t budge.  
  
Ianto glanced over the railings at the creature below which stared up at him growling and baring its razor sharp teeth. ‘Fuck Jack we’ve had it!’ he cried glancing around but failing to find anything to use as a weapon.  
  
Suddenly they heard the screeching off tyres and the running of footsteps; Owen, Gwen and Tosh came hurtling down the alley all with their guns drawn. Owen stopped and fired the second he spotted the creature, Tosh quickly followed and even Gwen after a moment’s hesitation.  
  
The creature whined and squealed as the bullets hit it, but it still struggled in vain to climb the stairs. Owen, Gwen and Tosh made their way toward the creature repeatedly firing their guns.  
  
‘That was too close.’ Ianto said turning to Jack who nodded in agreement.  
  
Jack kissed him deeply; he drew back his forehead resting on Ianto’s and his hands stroking down the side of his body. ‘You’re not hurt are you? It didn’t hurt you?’ he asked trembling with fear.  
  
‘I’m fine.’ Ianto whispered reassuringly. ‘I’m fine, I’m fine.’  
  
Jack kissed him softly on the lips. ‘I was so scared … so scared ...’  
  
Ianto kissed him back. ‘I’m fine cariad I swear. It’s you I’m worried about.’ he told him. Jack drew back and leant against the brick wall, his hand over his stomach. ‘What is it?’ Ianto asked watching as Jack struggled for breath.  
  
‘Nothing … it’s nothing.’ Jack panted.  
  
‘Jack?’ Ianto asked worriedly.  
  
‘I’m fine honestly.’ Jack mumbled closing his eyes as his head started to spin again.  
  
Ianto glanced over the railings where he saw his three team mates crouched around the dead alien. ‘Owen!’ he called. ‘Jack needs you.'  
  
Owen got up and sped up the stairs, yelling to Tosh and Gwen to get the alien into a body bag and loaded into the SUV. Jack clutched Ianto’s hand and gazed up at Owen, his eyes begging him for help. Without a word Owen began to check Jack over and Ianto started to pace, biting his finger nails anxiously. He was trying not to disturb Owen who was working but desperately wanted to ask all the questions racing through his mind.  
  
Once Tosh and Gwen had loaded the alien body into the back of the SUV Owen helped Jack to his feet, down the steps and into the SUV.  
  
‘Owen?’ Ianto asked, his whole body trembling with fear.  
  
‘Let’s get back to the hub first eh?’ Owen said touching his arm briefly. ‘Sit in the back with Jack. I’ll drive.’ he told him.  
  
Jack was as white as a sheet and didn’t utter a word as they drove; he just stared out of the SUV window. Ianto picked up his hand and held it in his own, his thumb stroked over Jack’s fingers slowly – reassuringly.  
  
When they arrived back at the hub, Owen directed Jack and Ianto down to the autopsy bay. Gwen and Tosh busied themselves quietly knowing it was best not to get in the way. Ianto sat on the cold stone steps and watched as Jack started to strip off his shirt. ‘Owen?’ he asked hoarsely.  
  
‘Let’s just have a look eh?’ Owen said with an encouraging smile.  
  
Jack just nodded, he laid back and watched as Owen fiddled with his equipment. Ianto got up and couldn’t help but pace. What was taking Owen so long?! He wondered in frustration as he watched Owen fiddling with all sorts of dials and switches. Jack glanced up at him, his eyes full of concern, Ianto didn’t say anything but stretched out his hand. Jack took it and squeezed it tightly – he wanted to say it was okay, but he couldn’t because he wasn’t sure.  
  
Eventually, Owen was ready and performed the ultrasound. Ianto and Jack both held their breaths, it felt like hours had passed by the time Owen had located the baby. Jack and Ianto let out their breaths and both their eyes welled up with tears when they saw the baby’s heart beating clearly.  
  
‘Thank God!’ Jack cried glancing at Ianto.  
  
‘Fetal heart beat is very rapid.’ Owen mumbled.  
  
‘Is she okay?’ Ianto asked. ‘We’re not going to lose her are we?’ he asked panic-stricken.  
  
‘Not if I have anything to do with it.’ Owen replied studying the ultrasound.  
  
Ianto took Jack’s hand. ‘Everything is going to be okay …’ he soothed.  
  
‘This is my fault isn’t it?’ Jack asked.  
  
‘Of course not, you didn’t know that this was going to happen.’ Ianto replied.  
  
‘But –‘ Jack started to protest.  
  
‘Ssh cariad there is no point distressing yourself further.’ Ianto told him.  
  
‘Ianto’s right.’ Owen replied. ‘But from now on you are on desk duty, no complaints okay?’ he added firmly. Jack nodded slightly, there was no way he was going to risk the same thing happening again. Owen told Jack that he could get dressed. ‘I don’t want you working more than eight hours a day and I want you to get proper rest … that means getting away from here.’ Owen told him.  
  
‘Someone needs to be here to keep an eye on the rift.’ Jack mumbled as he buttoned up his shirt.  
  
‘Tosh is working on a handheld monitor, the rest of us can take turns to babysit the rift until she’s perfected it.’ Owen told him.  
  
Jack frowned slightly. ‘But I -’ he started to say.  
  
‘No Harkness.’ Owen interrupted with a shake of his head. ‘You’ll do as I say if you know what’s good for you … the both of you.’ he added quickly.  
  
Jack placed his hand on his stomach and nodded his head slightly. Owen quickly glanced at Ianto. ‘I’ll let you two talk.’ he said heading up the steps and out of the autopsy bay.  
  
Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack’s shoulders and sighed softly. ‘You okay cariad?’ he whispered.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘No …’ he confessed. ‘I was so scared Ianto, scared I’d lose you.’  
  
Ianto pressed a soft kiss to his temple. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’ he told him.  
  
Jack clutched him desperately. ‘What if something had happened Ianto? What do I do without you?’  
  
Ianto’s heart clenched tightly. ‘I guess in a few months you’ll have to work that out.’ he replied with a heavy sigh.  
  
Jack looked up at him. ‘I guess.’ he mumbled rather depressingly.  
  
‘I think Owen is right, you need to get away from the hub so you can relax completely.’ Ianto told him. Jack just nodded in agreement. ‘Stay with me?’ Ianto asked, hoping Jack would say yes. ‘I want to look after you.’  
  
Jack glanced up at him and nodded slightly. Ianto smiled pressed a kiss to his lips before grabbing his coat and helping Jack into it. Ianto took his hand and led him up the steps and without a word to the others they left the hub.  
  
\---  
  
‘You can have this room.’ Ianto told Jack as he let him into his spare bedroom. ‘I know the bed is small, but it’s comfortable. Maybe we should think about getting a double, but I’m not sure it will fit in here …’ he said glancing around the room thoughtfully.  
  
‘This is fine Ianto.’ Jack smiled gratefully. ‘This bed is vast compared to what I’m used to.’  
  
Ianto laughed lightly. ‘I guess you’re right.’ he conceded, thinking about the tiny bed in his bunker.  
  
Jack sat down on the edge and bounced up and down. ‘This will do nicely.’ he told Ianto with a positive smile.  
  
Ianto walked around the room; it was bare aside from a small chest of drawers, a small wardrobe and a set of bare shelves. ‘Please make yourself at home, maybe we could bring a few of your personal things from the hub to make it more homely?’ he suggested.  
  
Jack smiled and nodded slightly. ‘Thanks.’ he replied unable to stifle a yawn.  
  
Ianto sat down on the bed beside him. ‘This is going to work isn’t it?’ he asked. ‘Us living together?’  
  
Jack smiled reassuringly. ‘We’ll make it work.’ he told him. ‘We just have to avoid temptation. Besides it’s only temporary.’ he reminded Ianto. Ianto just nodded his head glumly. ‘The thought of you not sleeping beside me is hard.’ Jack sighed heavily. ‘It will be harder now you’re only in the next room.’ he added.  
  
Ianto nodded in agreement. ‘We have to do this Jack otherwise it will be harder when we finally separate.’  
  
‘I know.’ Jack sighed wearily; he flopped back onto the bed and closed his eyes.  
  
Ianto slid his hand over his stomach. ‘I’m sure you’re bigger.’ he said with a slight smile.  
  
Jack’s eyes opened and he glanced down his body. ‘Really?’ he asked.  
  
‘Mmm …’ Ianto replied thoughtfully. ‘Definitely bigger.’  
  
Jack cupped his small baby bump. ‘A big healthy girl sounds good to me.’ he smiled.  
  
Ianto got up. ‘I’ll let you sleep, you look shattered.’ he said heading for the door.  
  
‘Yan?’ Jack said glancing up at him. ‘I really do wish things could be different.’ he sighed sadly.  
  
‘So do I.’ Ianto replied with a half-hearted smile.  



	10. Chapter 10

Ianto let himself into the spare bedroom early the next morning to find Jack in a heavy sleep; it was rather late and usually Ianto would be at the hub by now but he had spent most of the morning drifting aimlessly around his flat thinking through the events of the previous night. The two of them - no the three of them - were so lucky to still be alive. The thought of how close he’d become to losing his own life scared Ianto but not as much as the fear he’d felt those agonizing few moments when Owen was checking Jack over back at the hub. Ianto couldn’t even comprehend what he’d have done if they’d lost their baby; he was sure it would have broken Jack completely and that he might not have been able to pick up the pieces.

Ianto set down the mug of decaff coffee he’d prepared for Jack on the bedside table; Jack stirred slightly as Ianto pulled the covers back over him but he did not wake. Ianto slipped out of the room and, after gathering his things, he left the flat and headed for the hub. He took a slow walk to work, mulling over things in his mind and when he reached the hub he desperately didn’t want to go in; he knew Owen, Tosh and Gwen would be there and they’d only fuss. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate their concern, he just couldn’t cope with it right now. Ianto also knew that Owen would more than likely start to examine the creature they’d brought in and he didn’t want to see it – he didn’t want to see the thing that could have caused him so much devastation if his team mates had only been a second or two later. Ianto shuddered at the thought of what could have been.

Ianto resolved to stay in the tourist office until he’d plucked up the courage to enter the hub. There wasn’t much to do in there, so he busied himself with stocking up the shelves with local brochures. It didn’t need doing, since the tourist office barely had any visitors but it kept his mind occupied all the same.

An hour or so after he’d started Jack arrived. ‘Ianto?’ he asked a little surprised to find him in the tourist office.

Ianto glanced over at him. ‘Morning.’ he smiled warmly. ‘How did you sleep?’ he asked.

Jack shrugged. ‘As well as can be expected.’ he replied. ‘You?’

Ianto just nodded in agreement – he’d tossed and turned most of the night before finally drifting into an uneasy sleep in the early hours of the morning. ‘I could have done with having you there.’ he confessed.

Jack nodded. ‘Me too …’ he sighed glumly. ‘What are we going to do Ianto?’ he asked perching on the edge of the desk.

Ianto continued stocking the shelves, deliberately not looking at Jack who’s eyes he could feel on him. ‘About what?’ he asked feigning ignorance.

Jack sighed wearily. ‘Do you really think we’re going to be able to live together without arguing?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know ….’ Ianto mumbled, ‘but I want you to stay.’ he added quietly.

Jack closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘Yan …’

‘I know I know.’ Ianto sighed heavily. ‘Jack I want you to stay not because I think it will convince you to let us to be together but because I want to be able to look after you. Owen’s right you need proper rest and to be able to relax away from this place.’

‘I agree.’ Jack nodded. ‘All I’m saying is we need to get used to not being together. We rely on each other for comfort especially because of all the shit we go through here.’ he said gesturing to the hub. ‘It’s going to be more than tempting if we’re under the same roof.’ he added.

Ianto nodded. ‘I’m trying Jack I am, but yesterday just freaked me out.’

‘Me too.’ Jack nodded. ‘I could have lost you; she could have lost you.’ he said placing his hand on his stomach anxiously.

Ianto hated seeing Jack look so worried – mainly because he wasn’t used to it, Jack was usually so confident and so cocky. Ianto wanted to cuddle him, kiss him and reassure him that everything was okay but instead he just remained where he stood feeling completely useless. ‘I told you Jack, that’s not going to happen.’ he said firmly. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Jack’s eyes rested on his. ‘You don’t know that. You can’t know that.’ he replied. Ianto turned back to the shelves and continued restocking even though they were stuffed full of brochures now. Jack watched him for a few minutes. ‘I want you off field work.’ he told him. ‘I can’t risk having you out there.’

‘I can look after myself Jack.’ Ianto replied with a shake of his head. ‘Besides with you on desk duty the others are going to need my help.’

‘You’re not fully trained yet.’ Jack argued. ‘I can’t risk it. I can’t risk you.’

‘I can handle it Jack.’ Ianto growled stubbornly. ‘You need to forget about me as … well whatever I am to you.’ he gabbled quickly. ‘You need to think like our leader, and as our leader you know that if we’re both off field duty the others will be more at risk. You can’t be that selfish.’

Jack was about to argue the point, but just then the tourist office door opened and Owen entered. ‘Alright?’ he asked cheerfully.

‘Brilliant.’ Jack mumbled sarcastically before slipping off the edge of the desk and grumpily heading into the hub.

‘Are you two arguing again?’ Owen asked watching as Ianto stuffed yet more brochures into the rack.

‘No.’ Ianto muttered.

Owen sighed. ‘Fine don’t tell me then.’ he muttered crossing the room grumpily.

Ianto sighed heavily and felt back for snapping. ‘Owen?’ he asked glancing over his shoulder.

Owen stopped. ‘Yeah?’ he asked.

‘Thanks for last night. We would have been dead for sure if you guys hadn’t turned up.’ Ianto replied, feeling a sickening knot tighten in his stomach at the thought.

‘No worries.’ Owen smiled warmly.

‘How did you know we were in trouble?’ Ianto asked – the thought had only just occurred to him which wasn’t surprising given the drama of the previous evening.

‘I was at home when my handheld alerted me to the fact Jack’s blood pressure was extremely high.’ Owen told him. ‘I raced back here, but when I didn’t find him I quickly did a search for him … spotted you two running from the alien on CCTV.’ he explained.

Ianto closed his eyes. ‘Thank God you did.’ he mumbled. ‘I’ll definitely make sure he keeps that cuff on.’ he added knowing that if Jack hadn’t been wearing it his team mates wouldn’t have known they were in such trouble.

‘I would.’ Owen nodded before disappearing into the hub.

\---  
Later that morning …

Jack was sitting in his office staring moodily down at his paperwork which so far he hadn’t even begun to tackle when Ianto knocked on the door. ‘Yeah?’ he grumbled not even looking up to see who it was.

Ianto opened the door and waved a packed of biscuits at Jack. ‘Peace treaty?’ he asked hopefully.

Jack smiled and nodded. ‘I thought I wasn’t allowed these?’ he replied when Ianto handed him the packet and took the seat opposite his desk.

‘Are you complaining?’ Ianto asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

‘Not at all.’ Jack replied quickly opening the packet and biting into a biscuit before Ianto could change his mind.

‘I thought you could do with a treat.’ Ianto replied with a serene smile. ‘Just don’t eat the whole lot okay?’

‘Promise.’ Jack mumbled with a mouth full of biscuit crumbs. ‘Are we okay?’ he asked swallowing them down.

Ianto nodded. ‘Yeah, we will be.’ he smiled reassuringly. ‘Have you been down to the autopsy bay yet?’ he asked quickly changing the subject.

Jack shook his head. ‘I don’t want to see it.’ he mumbled. ‘Not just because of what nearly happened last night, but I’ll probably throw up too. My stomach is so weak at the moment.’ he complained.

Ianto just smiled. ‘So the morning sickness isn’t letting up yet?’ he asked.

‘No sign of easing off yet.’ Jack grumbled.

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘I’m sorry, I wish there was something I could do to help.’

‘It’s okay.’ Jack smiled.

‘Don’t take me off field duty.’ Ianto implored.

Jack eyed him but then sighed heavily with defeat. ‘Fine.’ he nodded knowing that if he protested it would only cause further arguments between them which he desperately wanted to avoid. Besides which, Ianto was right if they were both off duty the others would be at risk. Jack reached out and took Ianto’s hands. ‘Just promise me you’ll be careful.’ he begged, stroking his fingers over Ianto’s.

‘I promise.’ Ianto said giving Jack’s hands a strong squeeze.

Just then the door to the office and Gwen poked her head around. ‘Oh sorry!’ she exclaimed noticing Jack’s hands entwined with Ianto’s.

Ianto quickly pulled his hands free, stood up and straightened his suit. ‘Excuse me.’ he said with a slight cough as he pushed past Gwen quickly wanted to get out so she wouldn’t see his scarlet face.

Gwen glanced over her shoulder at Ianto as he rushed from the room. ‘Have I interrupted something?’ he asked with an arch of her eyebrow.

Jack shook his head wearily. ‘What is it Gwen?’ he snapped. ‘Sorry …’ he mumbled quickly.

Gwen took the seat Ianto had just vacated. ‘I just wanted to ask if everything is okay … with you and the baby.’ she replied helping herself to a biscuit.

‘We’re both fine.’ Jack nodded. ‘Thanks.’ he added appreciating her concern.

Gwen smiled. ‘Good, I’m glad to hear it.’

‘You are?’ Jack asked glancing at her dubiously.

Gwen nodded. ‘Yes.’ she confirmed. ‘If having this baby is what you both want then I’ll support you all the way.’

Jack frowned slightly. ‘You seem to have had a change of heart?’ he inquired.

‘No.’ Gwen said shaking her head. ‘I’ve just had a chance to think things through, like you said I’ve got Rhys haven’t I? Anyway you’ve made it clear that you don’t have those feelings for me … I’m not the sort of girl that’s going to pine over you.’

Jack nodded. ‘I’m glad to hear it.’

Gwen helped herself to another biscuit. ‘So come on, what did I just walk in on then?’

Jack sighed and shook his head. ‘Nothing …’ he mumbled miserably. ‘I was just telling Ianto to be careful when he’s out in the field that’s all.’

‘To be honest I thought you were going to ban him altogether.’ Gwen replied.

Jack nodded. ‘I wanted to, but you know how stubborn he can be.’

‘Oh yes!’ Gwen laughed merrily.

Jack just smiled – Gwen didn’t even know the full extent of Ianto’s stubbornness he thought to himself. ‘Besides it wouldn’t be fair on the rest of you and I’ve got to try and keep my personal feelings separate haven’t I?’ he added.

Gwen laughed once more. ‘None of us are very good at that though are we?’

‘I guess not.’ Jack nodded. ‘Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be in this state would I?’ he sighed as he rubbed his hands over his more prominent baby bump.

Gwen smiled. ‘How have you grown so much in just a few days?’ she said – there was no denying it now, Jack was pregnant and growing at an extraordinary rate.

‘Seems to happen this way with me … flat for the first three months then suddenly I balloon out.’ Jack told her.

Gwen studied him. ‘I forgot … you’ve already been through this before haven’t you?’

Jack just nodded. ‘Let’s not go there.’ he replied quickly.

Gwen took the hint and had the good sense to let the conversation die there. ‘Anyway the reason I actually came in here was for you to look through and sign these.’ she said handing him a stack of paperwork. ‘Add it to you pile.’ she smiled noticing the growing mountain of paperwork in Jack’s “in” tray.

‘Cheers Gwen.’ Jack grumbled wishing for the hundredth time that morning he had a cup of Ianto’s heavenly coffee to keep him going – decaff just didn’t cut it!

\---

‘Jack? Are you okay?’ Owen asked as he took a second bite out of his Cornish pasty.

Jack just groaned slightly and closed his eyes.

‘Jack? Are you sure you’re not hungry?’ Gwen asked pushing the paper bag of pasties toward him. ‘You haven’t eaten since lunch.’ she added.

Jack breathed in the aroma coming from the bag of pasties and immediately felt his stomach lurch; he quickly got up and ran off.

‘What’s up with him?’ Owen asked glancing at Gwen questionably.

Ianto quickly got up and followed Jack out of the boardroom; he found him in his office throwing up into his waste paper basket. ‘Jack?’ he asked worriedly. Jack wiped his mouth as he straightened up and Ianto could see he was a little wobbly on his feet. ‘Sit down.’ he coaxed pushing Jack into his chair. ‘I’ll get you some water.’ he said dashing off to the kitchen; when he returned he found Jack leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. ‘Here.’

Jack took the glass, his hands trembling and drank from it. ‘Thanks …’ he mumbled.

‘Are you going to be okay?’ Ianto asked worried by how pale Jack looked.

Jack nodded. ‘Sorry, it was just the smell of that food …’ he groaned feeling another wave of nausea wash over him.

‘I’ll get rid of it.’ Ianto said heading back up to the boardroom; he grabbed the paper bag the food had come in, screwed it up and tossed it in the bin before spraying a heavy dose of air freshener around the room.

‘Hey!’ Owen protested offended by the overpowering smell of the air freshener.

‘Can’t you be a little bit more considerate?’ Ianto snapped irritably. ‘Jack’s got a bit of a weak stomach remember?’

‘Sorry, I forgot.’ Owen replied sheepishly.

‘Just don’t stuff smelly food in his face okay.’ Ianto said wandering back down to Jack’s office to tell him the coast was clear and to begin the fun task that was cleaning out his bin.

‘Thank Yan …’ Jack mumbled watching as Ianto picked up the bin.

‘It’s okay.’ Ianto smiled. ‘Maybe you should go out for some fresh air?’ he suggested.

Jack got up. ‘I think you’re right, I’m just going to walk down the bay.’ he told him.

‘Take your coat, its cold out there.’ Ianto said handing it to him.

Jack smile gratefully and slid on his coat which he wrapped tightly around himself. ‘I feel guilty for making you do that …’ he mumbled glancing at the bin.

Ianto laughed. ‘After cleaning up alien blood and guts I think I can cope with the contents of your stomach.’ he quipped. Jack’s face just whitened. ‘Sorry!’ Ianto exclaimed quickly.

Jack shook his head. ‘I think I’d better go outside.’ he chuckled as he headed out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Jack re-appeared an hour or so later looking far less pale then when he’d left. ‘How do you feel?’ Gwen asked glancing up at him as he entered the Hub. ‘You’ve been gong a long time, we were about to come looking for you.’ she explained.  
  
‘I just went for a walk.’ Jack replied with a half-hearted shrug. ‘I feel much better now thankfully.’  
  
Owen glanced at him sheepishly. ‘Sorry mate.’ he said feeling bad since he was the one that bought the pasties in the first place.  
  
Jack just laughed. ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I might go and lie down actually all that walking has worn me out.’  
  
‘Good idea, no offense but you look beat mate.’ Owen replied noticing the dark circles under his eyes.  
  
‘Yes go on Jack.’ Tosh encouraged. ‘Get some rest, and don’t you worry we’ll handle things up here.’  
  
‘Thanks.’ Jack smiled before heading through the Hub to his office where Ianto was still cleaning.  
  
‘Hey.’ Ianto smiled up at him. ‘Feeling better?’ he asked.  
  
‘Much.’ Jack nodded, he glanced around his now tidy office and was pleased to find it smelt of lemon cleaner and polish rather than sick. ‘Thanks Yan, what would I do without you eh?’  
  
‘It’s no problem Jack.’ Ianto smiled. ‘Shall I make you a coffee? Or Tea?’ he offered.  
  
Jack nodded. ‘Coffee would be good. Can you bring it down?’ he asked nodding toward the man-hole cover that led down into the bunker below the office.  
  
‘Sure.’ Ianto replied heading out of the office through to the kitchen. When he returned a few moments later with a cup of coffee he carefully climbed down into the bunker and found Jack lying on his bed with his eyes closed. Ianto set down the mug on the small table beside the bed. ‘Tired cariad?’ he asked smiling down at him fondly.  
  
‘Mmmm ...’ Jack sighed, his eyes opening. ‘I think I must have walked about three miles.’  
  
Ianto chuckled. ‘Felt that sick did you?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘I was just thinking ...’ he mumbled.  
  
Ianto swallowed hard. ‘About what?’ he asked his stomach twisting in knots.  
  
Jack’s eyebrow rose expertly. ‘I’m a pregnant man in the 21st century what else am I supposed to think about?!’ he laughed.  
  
Ianto leant against the chest of drawers that stood in one corner of the small room and laughed lightly. ‘Sorry ... stupid question really.’  
  
Jack sat up and surveyed Ianto thoughtfully. ‘You know how I feel about you don’t you?’ he asked chewing his bottom lip anxiously.  
  
Ianto felt tears prickle behind his eyes. ‘Sometimes I think I do ... other times I’m not so sure.’ he replied.  
  
Jack glanced away momentarily before fixing his gaze once more. ‘If things were different ... if we didn’t work here, if I was mortal, I’d want this for us.’ he said placing his hands over his belly.  
  
‘If things were that different we wouldn’t be in this mess.’ Ianto sighed heavily. ‘It’s just not fair Jack. Why can’t we just have what we want?’  
  
Jack got up and crossed the room, he took Ianto in his arms and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. ‘I’m sorry.’ he whispered.  
  
Ianto took Jack’s hand and slid his fingers through his. ‘It’s okay ... I know this is hurting you just as much as its hurting me. I know you’re just trying to do what’s best, maybe I’m just selfish.’ He sighed.  
  
Jack shook his head slightly. ‘You’re not Ianto, wanting her to have a proper family is far from selfish.’ he replied before drawing away and sitting down on his bed; he grabbed the mug of coffee Ianto had prepared for him and sipped at it.  
  
Ianto, meanwhile, wandered around the room. ‘Maybe we could pack up a few of your things and take them back to mine later ... make your room a bit more homey?’ he suggested, it was a weak attempt to change the conversation but anything was better than an awkward silence.  
  
Jack nodded. ‘That would be good.’ he smiled encouragingly.  
  
Ianto glanced at Jack, there was still so much left unsaid between them but he couldn’t stand to talk anymore – what good would it do? ‘I’ll leave you be.’ he said sighing heavily. ‘Just shout if you need me.’  
  
Jack nodded his head and when Ianto had climbed out of the bunker he sighed heavily and flopped onto his bed. His hands slid over his growing stomach. ‘I wish I could keep you, I wish I could keep both of you.’ he whispered feeling thoroughly depressed.  
  
\---  
  
The rest of the afternoon passed relatively quietly; Jack eventually resurfaced from his bunker after trying and failing to get some sleep only to be faced with a tedious phone call with the Prime Minister and a stack of paperwork. At times like this he’d hope for a weevil uprising but even that wouldn’t free him since he was off field duty. Jack gazed out of his office window at Ianto who was sitting at his desk working, he looked thoroughly miserable. Jack sighed, knowing he was the source of his depression. Jack’s eyes moved over and rested on Gwen who was also working - the two were in silence which wasn’t unusual for them; Jack had noticed that ever since she’d discovered Ianto had been sleeping with him she’d been much less friendly toward him. In fact she only really spoke to him regarding work matters. Jack knew that Ianto didn’t really care but it bothered him.  
  
Jack yawned and stretched his arms above his head; just then he felt something – something he hadn’t felt before, something he’d been waiting anxiously to feel for weeks. ‘IANTO!’ Jack shouted desperately.  
  
Ianto jumped when the peace of the Hub was suddenly broken by Jack calling for him. Hearing panic in Jack’s voice, he leapt up immediately and rushed to his office. ‘What is it?!’ Ianto cried finding Jack with his hands on his stomach. ‘Is something wrong?’ he asked, his heart hammering with fear.  
  
‘Shut up and give me your hand.’ Jack said holding out his own. Frowning, Ianto crossed the room and slid his hand into Jack’s. Jack placed it on his stomach and grinned up at Ianto. ‘Feel it?’ he asked.  
  
Ianto’s eyes widened. ‘What is that?’ he asked slowly, all though he was pretty sure he knew.  
  
‘That’s our baby kicking.’ Jack grinned up at him. ‘Before now I’ve only had little flutters.’  
  
Ianto couldn’t control his emotions and before he knew it he’d grabbed Jack and was kissing him deeply. ‘You are amazing …’ he whispered grinning broadly as they drew apart.  
  
Jack gazed up at him and smiled. ‘I can’t tell you how incredible it feels.’ he replied nodding eagerly.  
  
Ianto eyes drifted back down to Jack’s lips and roamed over the soft folds, he desperately wanted to kiss him again but was afraid of rejection - he didn’t think his heart could take much more. Ianto was more than surprised when Jack sat up slightly and pressed his mouth against his; they kissed each other tenderly. Ianto was about to draw away but Jack slid his hand around the back of his neck and coaxed in into a deeper kiss. Ianto’s hands slid down Jack’s chest and stroked his hand over his baby bump. Jack placed his hand over the top. ‘Makes if feel so real doesn’t it?’ he whispered as they felt another kick.  
  
Ianto nodded slowly. ‘Jack …’ he murmured. ‘You said “our” baby.’  
  
‘I know.’ Jack mumbled sadly.  
  
Ianto sighed deeply. ‘This is torture.’ he said as he moved away from Jack and straightened his suit.  
  
‘For me too.’ Jack replied gazing up at him.  
  
Ianto couldn’t look Jack in the eye – all he could see was despair and pain but there was nothing he could do about it since Jack wasn’t willing to change his mind. ‘I’d best get the coffee on before the others get caffeine withdrawals.’ he mumbled wandering out of Jack’s office with a heavy heart. Ianto caught sight of Gwen gawping at him and knew instantly she’d seen the whole thing. Gwen opened her mouth to say something. ‘Don’t Gwen. Just don’t.’ Ianto snapped heading off through to the kitchen.  
  
Gwen sat down and sighed heavily, inside she was just seething – just who did Ianto think he was speaking to her like that? And what was Jack playing at? Surely he wasn’t still interested in the tea boy? Gwen got up and headed to Jack’s office. ‘Is everything okay?’ she asked smiling sweetly.  
  
‘No.’ Jack grumbled. ‘Nothings right at all.’  
  
‘What’s wrong?’ Gwen asked sitting down opposite him.  
  
Jack swallowed hard. ‘Gwen is it too late to change my mind?’ he asked glancing up at her.  
  
Gwen’s eyes widened. ‘What do you mean change your mind?’ she asked slowly.  
  
Jack glanced out of the window over at Ianto. ‘I want this as much as he does.’ he confessed. ‘He loves me Gwen … that’s got to be enough right?’  
  
‘Yes but you don’t love him.’ Gwen replied, she stopped and looked at the expression on Jack’s face. ‘You don’t do you?’  
  
Jack glanced down at his hands. ‘This is all such a mess Gwen.’ he sighed.  
  
Gwen reached across the desk and took Jack’s hands. ‘Do you honestly think you can raise a baby and run Torchwood too?’ she asked.  
  
‘It won’t just be me will it?’ Jack argued. ‘Ianto and I can do it together.’  
  
Gwen sighed. ‘What if it doesn’t work out between you?’ she asked.  
  
‘You don’t think it will?’ Jack asked glancing up at her worriedly.  
  
Gwen shrugged her shoulders. ‘I don’t know Jack, but I think you should be realistic about this. You’ve been adamant that Ianto is better off raising the baby on his own away from Torchwood ever since you found out.’  
  
‘I know.’ Jack sighed. ‘Now I just feel so conflicted.’  
  
Gwen squeezed Jack’s hands tightly. ‘I think that’s to be expected now that you’re showing properly and … I’m guessing you just felt her kick for the first time?’ she asked.  
  
Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘Maybe I am just getting carried away …’  
  
  
‘Ianto’s desperate to be with you anyone can see that.’ Gwen told him. ‘You can’t let that sway you, you have to do what’s right for her.’  
  
Jack got up. ‘I’ve got a headache, I’m going to lie down.’ he told her.  
  
Gwen smiled sweetly. ‘Good idea.’ she smiled. ‘Look I wouldn’t tell Ianto you’re having doubts, you’ll only get his hopes up and it will break his heart when you change your mind again.’  
  
‘You think I will?’ Jack asked.  
  
Gwen nodded. ‘You felt her kick for the first time Jack, of course that’s going to make you feel more attached to her but it’s temporary. You’ll see sense again soon.’  
  
‘Maybe you’re right …’ Jack sighed.  
  
Gwen got up and headed out of the office ; she was sure that Jack would see sense again soon and once Ianto had disappeared with their little mistake Jack would be back to normal again. The past few weeks had been unbearable in the hub – Ianto looking longingly at Jack and constantly being either miserable or irritable, Tosh prattling on about babies and Owen fussing over Jack day in day out. Gwen was sick of the way Ianto looked down on her, he seemed to think he was something special now just because their boss was having his child, but at the end of the day in her mind he was just the tea boy and nothing more. What Jack saw in him she didn’t know and could only hope it was a temporary infatuation.  
  
Ianto drifted out of the kitchen with a tray of coffees. ‘Where’s Jack gone?’ he asked Gwen.  
  
Gwen glanced up at him. ‘To lie down, I wouldn’t bother going down there he’s rather annoyed with you Ianto.’ she told him.  
  
‘What have I done?’ Ianto asked.  
  
‘Kissing him like that.’ Gwen replied with a disapproving shake of her heard. ‘You haven’t got it yet have you? Jack isn’t going to change his mind so stop trying to make him. Can’t you see what it’s doing to him?’  
  
‘Is that what he thinks I’m trying to do?!’ Ianto cried in outrage.  
  
‘Why else would you kiss him?’ Gwen asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Ianto blushed. ‘I didn’t mean to … it was just …’ he stopped and just sighed heavily. ‘I’m going to have a word with him about this, I told him I wasn’t going to ask again weeks ago.’  
  
‘Don’t Ianto.’ Gwen snapped. ‘You’ll only argue and you know that’s not good for him or the baby. Just leave him be.’  
  
Ianto flopped down in his chair. ‘Maybe you’re right …’ he sighed heavily.  
  
Gwen turned back to her screen and smiled smugly to herself.

\---  
  
 _Later that evening …_  
  
‘Jack you ready to go home?’ Ianto yelled from his desk. ‘Jack?’ he called again. Ianto sighed and headed to his office. ‘Jack didn’t you hear me?’ he asked when he’d opened the door. Ianto stopped and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Jack sound asleep at his desk clutching his baby bump as he snored contently. Ianto headed over, closed Jack’s mouth slightly and covered him with a thick blanket. ‘Sleep tight.’ he said pressing a soft kiss to his lips and rubbing his hand over his stomach.  
  
Ianto took a seat at Gwen’s desk knowing that he could glance over the top of the monitor to check on Jack whenever it pleased him; he had things to do and so decided to let Jack sleep since he’d been having such difficulty getting to sleep recently. Ianto started to proof read Owen’s latest report (spelling and punctuation were not his strongest points) before printing out a hardcopy and placing it on the stack of paperwork he needed to sort before giving it to Jack.  
  
Ianto worked quiet and effectively, enjoying the peace and quiet of the hub. Everyone else had left for the evening and Myfanwy was out hunting too. In fact the only sounds were the humming of the computers, the trickling of water down the tower and the faint snores coming from Jack’s office.  
  
~~~~~  
  
 _‘She’s okay right? She’s alive? Ianto’s she’s not crying, why isn’t she crying?!’ Jack asked desperately._  
  
 _Suddenly the air was punctuated with the loud piercing cry of a newborn baby._  
  
 _Jack sighed with relief and sank back into the pillows. ‘Thank God!’ he cried happily._  
  
 _Jack watched as Ianto cleaned the baby up as best he could before he wrapped her in a soft white blanket. ‘Hello my gorgeous girl.’ he whispered as he held her up and inspected her. ‘God Jack she’s perfect!’ he declared, proud tears in his eyes._  
  
 _Jack closed his eyes and sighed with relief – she was okay he told himself over and over._  
  
 _Ianto crossed the room. ‘Jack?’ he asked. Jack’s eyes slid open and he gazed up at him. ‘Owen said you should hold her, it’s good for you to bond with her.’ he told him._  
  
 _Jack shook his head and refused to look at his daughter. ‘I can’t Ianto.’ he mumbled, his voice choking with emotion._  
  
 _‘I want you to Jack, please she should know you.’ Ianto begged._  
  
 _Jack stole a glance at his daughter and his heart instantly melted. ‘Yan …’ he breathed._  
  
 _Ianto placed the baby on Jack’s chest. ‘How can you say you don’t want her? Look at her Jack …’ he encouraged._  
  
 _Tears spilled down Jack’s cheeks as he cradled their child. ‘Ianto …’ he cried, tears spilling down his cheeks. ‘She’s ... she’s ...’_  
  
 _Ianto slid onto the bed next to him. ‘She’s perfect and she ours.’ he smiled._  
  
 _‘What about Freya?’ Jack asked. ‘Am I supposed to forget about her?’_  
  
 _‘No of course not.’ Ianto replied. ‘She was ours too and we’ll never forget her, this little one is not a replacement Jack.’ he told him._  
  
 _Jack nodded slightly. ‘I know she’s not, but I just feel so guilty.’_  
  
 _Ianto pressed a soft kiss to his lips. ‘We’ll never forget Freya I promise Jack.’ he encouraged._  
  
~~~~~  
  
Jack woke up with a start, his heart hammering. Ianto leapt up and sped to Jack’s office. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked. ‘You were shouting? Are you hurt?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘Sorry … just a weird dream.’ he mumbled glancing around his office with wild eyes. Jack took a couple of deep breaths – it was just a dream he told himself.  
  
Ianto frowned slightly. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asked worriedly.  
  
Jack glanced up at him with watery eyes and nodded. ‘I’m fine I swear.’  
  
‘What did you dream about?’ Ianto asked.  
  
Jack just shook his head. ‘It was nothing, just a stupid dream.’ he replied. ‘Honestly Ianto it was nothing.’  
  
‘Let me take you home?’ Ianto asked. Jack nodded and got up, Ianto helped him into his coat before pulling on his own. After closing down the hub for the night they headed off. As they walked Ianto glanced up at Jack. ‘I don’t want to argue with you Jack, and Gwen told me not to say anything but I feel I have to.’  
  
‘Gwen?’ Jack asked. ‘What has she said?’  
  
Ianto sighed. ‘She said that you were annoyed with me for kissing you earlier today and that you were sick of me trying to get you back but that’s not the case Jack. Not that I don’t want you back, but that’s not why I kissed you. I kissed you because … well because I couldn’t help myself, feeling her kick … it was amazing and I’m sorry if …’  
  
‘Yan Yan Yan!’ Jack cried interrupting him. ‘I’m not annoyed with you at all. I know why you did it, and anyway I kissed you back so I can hardly blame you can I?’  
  
‘But Gwen said –‘ Ianto started to protest.  
  
‘Gwen’s just causing trouble.’ Jack replied gritting his teeth. ‘She’s played us both today.’  
  
‘Why?’ Ianto asked. ‘What did she say to you?’  
  
Jack’s stomach twisted with anxiety. ‘It was nothing.’ he replied quickly.  
  
Ianto sighed. ‘I don’t understand why would even Gwen bother?’ he asked.  
  
Jack glanced down at his feet. ‘Perhaps she thinks with you out the way she’s still got a chance with me?’ he suggested.  
  
Ianto glanced up at him in horror. ‘You won’t get together with her when I’m gone will you?’ he asked panic stricken.  
  
‘No of course not!’ Jack replied. ‘I don’t have feelings for Gwen Ianto. I love you.’ he told him. Ianto stopped in his tracks and grinned. Jack turned back to him. ‘Don’t look so shocked, you know how I feel about you. You’ve known for weeks now.’  
  
‘I know but you’ve never said those three words before.’ Ianto replied unable to hide his smile.  
  
‘Doesn’t change things.’ Jack shrugged.  
  
Ianto sighed. ‘I know you don’t want to give us up Jack, so please don’t let it happen.’ he begged.  
  
Jack buried his hands deep in his pockets. ‘Either way I could be making the biggest mistake of my life. Besides ... there is something you need to know Ianto ... I’m not so sure you’ll want me after I tell you.’  
  
Ianto stopped and glanced at Jack. ‘What is it?’ he asked.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘Not here. Home.’ he told him, his voice deadly serious.  
  
Ianto frowned. ‘Jack? You’re really worrying me now.’ he replied.  
  
‘Please Ianto.’ Jack begged. ‘Home.’ he said setting off once more in the direction of Ianto’s flat. This was it – he was going to tell Ianto about Freya and this time he wasn’t going to let anything stop him.


	12. Chapter 12

‘Jack what is going on?’ Ianto asked as they entered the flat. ‘You wanted to talk so let’s talk.’

Jack paced the flat. ‘I’m not sure where to start …’ he muttered. ‘I don’t even know if I can.’

Ianto crossed the room and sat Jack down on the sofa. ‘Firstly you need to calm down.’ he told him firmly. ‘Whatever it is I’m sure I’ll cope!’ he laughed.

Jack looked up at him. ‘I’m not sure you will Ianto.’ he murmured darkly. ‘I’ve been such an idiot.’ he sighed shaking his head.

Ianto’s eyes flicked down to Jack’s stomach and he swallowed hard – he wasn’t sure he really wanted to ask his next question but he knew he had to. ‘She is mine isn’t she?’ he asked cautiously.

Jack glared up at him. ‘Of course she is!’ he replied completely outraged Ianto had even asked. ‘How could you think otherwise!’ he exclaimed.

‘I was just asking a question.’ Ianto replied defensively.

Jack crossed his arms. ‘I told you Ianto, since we’ve been together I’ve only been with you.’

Ianto nodded. ‘I’m sorry.’ he sighed wearily. ‘I just don’t understand what else could be so bad you think I wouldn’t want you anymore?’ he replied.

Jack leant back in the chair and closed his eyes. ‘Can we just forget I even said anything?’ he asked wearily.

Ianto shook his head. ‘No Jack, you’ve started so you’re going to finish. I’m not going to worry over this any long over.’

‘Any longer?’ Jack asked his eyes opening and resting on Ianto’s questionably.

‘I’m not an idiot Jack.’ Ianto replied. ‘I know something’s been bothering you, something other than the fact you’re a pregnant man in the 21st century.’

‘Of course something’s bothering me!’ Jack argued. ‘In a few months time I’ll be giving up the two most precious things in my life!’

Ianto couldn’t help but smile at this. ‘Is that what you really think of me? Of our baby?’ he asked hopefully – surely if they meant that much to him he couldn’t give them up?

Jack glanced away and coloured slightly, but he nodded all the same. ‘Please Yan can we talk about this another time? I’m tired, I just want to go to bed.’

Ianto dithered – he could see that Jack was exhausted but at the same time he needed to know what was going on. ‘I’m worried if you don’t tell me now you’ll put it off forever and I don’t want to be in the dark Jack.’

Jack sighed heavily. ‘Alright, but you’ve got to promise to hear me out okay?’

Ianto nodded. ‘Promise.’

Jack took a deep breath. ‘I think you’ll need to sit down for this.’ he mumbled. ‘Coffee might help too.’ he added hinting heavily.

Ianto laughed. ‘Subtlety was never your strong point was it Jack?’ he said as he headed for the kitchen.

Jack grinned. ‘Good job two otherwise I’d never got you into bed.’ he called after him.

Ianto shook his head and just laughed. Jack twisted his fingers together anxiously, desperately trying to use the spare few minutes he had whilst Ianto was preparing the coffee to decide how he was going to tell him. It was impossible because there simply was no way you could break this sort of news to a person gently.

Ianto returned from the kitchen a few moments later. ‘There’s no milk, I’ll get some from the corner shop.’ he said pulling on his coat. ‘I’ll be two minutes, don’t think you’re getting out of this.’ he said as he left the flat.

Jack got up and started to pace once more; his head was telling him to back out now – not to tell Ianto - but his heart was telling him that Ianto had a right to know no matter how much it was going to hurt him. Jack rubbed his stomach, she seemed restless, perhaps she could feel his anxiety? he considered. Jack made his way back to sofa and sat down, trying to force himself to stay calm for her sake.

As he laid back into the cushions he heard a strange rustling noise; sitting up he pulled out a plastic bag which he’d found behind one of the cushions. Curiosity got the better of him, and he delved into the bag. Jack pulled out a handful of clothes - baby clothes - he stared down at them all brand new. Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes and he wasn’t sure how long he sat with the clothes or why they’d provoked such a strong reaction; he was reminded of how happy he’d been those few days after he’d found out he was pregnant the first time - back then he hadn’t considered any of the complications or dangers with being a pregnant immortal man in the 21st century, he’d just been fixated on the child growing inside of him. Jack fondled the clothes remembering how he’d rushed out to buy things for Freya despite not evening being three months gone.

Jack didn’t even hear the door to the flat open, and it was only when he heard Ianto say his name did he snap out of his thoughts. Jack looked up to see him stood in the doorway of the flat; he quickly put the clothes down. ‘Sorry.’ he mumbled. ‘I didn’t mean to snoop.’

Ianto closed the door behind him and pulled off his coat. ‘Its okay.’ he said crossing the room and sitting down on the sofa beside him. ‘I bought them this morning. I wasn’t hiding them from you I just didn’t want to upset you. I just couldn’t resist them when I saw them.’ he smiled.

‘They’re gorgeous.’ Jack whispered stroking the soft fabric fondly.

‘I’m glad you think so.’ Ianto smiled.

‘I’ve got some things at the hub you can have, they were for Freya but …’ Jack just trailed off and shook his head sadly.

‘You should keep them.’ Ianto encouraged.

Jack shrugged. ‘No good to me are they?’ he replied as he folded the clothes neatly and placed them back inside the plastic bag.

Ianto pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s temple and carded his fingers through his hair. ‘I’ll put the coffee on then we’ll talk properly okay?’

Jack just nodded glumly.

Ianto entered the room again a few moments later carrying to mugs of decaff coffee – Jack, during one of his frequent mood swings had insisted that if he had to suffer caffeine withdrawals then Ianto could too – Ianto was more than happy to oblige and made no fuss over the matter to prove a point to Jack who moaned constantly although secretly he was suffering just as badly! ‘Are you okay?’ Ianto asked sitting down on the sofa beside him and setting down the mugs on the coffee table.

‘She’s kicking like hell.’ Jack moaned. ‘I don’t think she’s stopped since I first felt them this afternoon.’ he told Ianto. ‘She’s definitely making her presence known that’s for sure!’

Ianto slid his hand over Jack’s stomach. ‘Come on baby girl give your daddy a break.’

‘Daddy?’ Jack said glancing up, his eyes searching Ianto’s.

Ianto smiled softly and nodded. ‘Doesn’t that sound right to you?’ he asked.

Jack hummed slightly. ‘Yan …’ he breathed shaking his head. ‘Don’t please.’

Ianto sighed. ‘Sorry.’ he mumbled. ‘Wow that was a strong one!’ he exclaimed gazing down at his hand which rested on Jack’s stomach.

‘Bloody hurt too.’ Jack moaned.

Ianto just grinned. ‘Jack you wrestle with weevils, fall of sky scrapers and get shot on a weekly basis but I’ve never heard you complain like this!’ he laughed.

‘Well this inside so it bloody hurts.’ Jack grumbled.

Ianto slid down the sofa and laid his head on Jack’s stomach listening to the sound of their baby moving. ‘Hush baby …’ he whispered encouragingly. ‘Sleep time now okay?’

Jack winced as she kicked several times. ‘I think she can hear you.’ he replied.

Ianto glanced up at him. ‘If only she could understand what I’m saying!’

‘I know I moan but in a strange way it’s comforting that she’s started moving.’ Jack replied.

Ianto slid closer to Jack and his eyes rested on his. ‘What happened to Freya isn’t going to happen again.’ he told him firmly.

Jack swallowed hard and nodded his head slightly. ‘I’m scared it will Ianto. Terrified.’ he confessed.

Ianto stroked his fingers through Jack’s hair. ‘You can talk to me about it Jack. Please open up to me.’

Jack closed his eyes, but the tears would not hold back. ‘I can’t.’

‘Please …’ Ianto begged. ‘It’s hurting you so it’s hurting me.’

‘It will hurt worse if I tell you.’ Jack replied.

‘How Jack?’ Ianto asked, but Jack didn’t reply. Ianto laid his head on Jack’s chest and stroked his hand over his baby bump. ‘We won’t lose her.’ he whispered positively. ‘I won’t let that happen.’

‘Freya died.’ Jack said shaking his head. ‘It was my fault … my body couldn’t cope with being pregnant. I was still recovering from what the Master did to me.’ he explained.

Ianto tensed slightly - Jack hadn’t gone into detail about what he’d been through that year, but Ianto knew he’d been tortured and the mere thought of him suffering hurt him immensely. ‘So when you came back that’s when it happened? That’s when you were pregnant the first time?’ he asked.

Jack just nodded slightly knowing that Ianto was bound to work it out for himself if he didn’t tell him.

‘I don’t understand.’ Ianto said shaking his head – he’d always expected that Jack had been pregnant for the first time years and years either in his past or future. ‘We were together before you left … you said you’ve only been with me?’

Jack just nodded; he knew this was it – time to come clean. Jack took a deep breath. ‘Ianto she was yours. Freya was yours.’

Ianto stared up at Jack. ‘Mine? But … no.’ he said shaking his head. ‘No that’s not possible.’

Jack took Ianto’s hands. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, so sorry. Please don’t hate me for this. Please understand why I couldn’t tell you.’

A sob caught in the back of Ianto’s throat. ‘Jack!’ he cried snatching his hands away and getting up. ‘Tell me you’re lying. Please!’ he begged.

‘I’m sorry.’ Jack said gazing up at him. ‘Really Ianto I am.’

Ianto’s opened his mouth to say something but he suddenly cracked and burst into tears of shock and sorrow. Jack got up and pulled him back down onto the sofa beside him; he wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. ‘It’s okay … it’s okay …’ he whispered over and over as Ianto sobbed, grieving for the child he never knew he’d had.

‘Okay?’ Ianto muttered pulling away, tears streaming down his cheek. ‘Okay?’ he spat. ‘How can it be okay?! Why didn’t you tell me?!’ he cried.

‘How could I?’ Jack asked.

Ianto closed his eyes unable to believe this was really happening. ‘You should have said something.’ he replied through gritted teeth.

Jack glanced down at his hands. ‘I did what I thought was best.’

Ianto glared at him. ‘Well it wasn’t best.’ he snarled. ‘She was my baby too Jack! You shouldn’t have kept the fact you were pregnant from me in the first place!’

‘We weren’t together properly then Ianto, I didn’t know how you felt about me and or me about you.’ Jack tried to explain.

‘So.’ Ianto snapped back.

‘I was going to tell you.’ Jack replied. ‘I would have had to when I started showing but before I got that far the complications arose and I had to leave.’ he tried to explain.

‘The Doctor?’ Ianto asked.

Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘I called him, he took me to a hospital in the 51st century and they said I had to stay there … I couldn’t leave.’

‘You could have got the Doctor to bring me to you.’ Ianto argued.

Jack shook his head. ‘You’re telling me that if the Doctor - who you very clearly don’t like - showed up and told you I was pregnant and he was taking you to a hospital in the future to meet me you would go?’ he asked in disbelief.

‘I don’t know because I never got the choice did I?’ Ianto replied moodily.

Jack closed his eyes. ‘I was trying to protect you Ianto, I didn’t want you to go through all that pain.’

‘So you decided to go through it alone.’ Ianto replied. ‘I should have been there with you. We should have dealt with it together!’

‘I had the Doctor.’ Jack replied. ‘He helped me through it.’

Ianto leapt up onto his feet. ‘It always comes back to him doesn’t it?!’ he snapped.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?!’ Jack asked glaring up at him.

‘You left us for him, you left me for him.’ Ianto argued. ‘He’s always had a special place in your heart … a place I can never be.’

‘Don’t be stupid.’ Jack snapped.

‘Did he hold her?’ Ianto asked. Jack just nodded slightly. ‘Did he go with you to bury her?’ Ianto asked through gritted teeth. Again, Jack nodded. ‘It should have been me Jack! I should have been there not him she was mine too!’

Jack gazed up at Ianto. ‘I’m sorry, how many more times do you want me to say it?’

Ianto opened his mouth to retort but just then his phone started to vibrate in his pocket; Ianto slid it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. ‘It’s Owen.’ he muttered. ‘He needs me back at the hub.’

‘Don’t go.’ Jack begged. ‘Please, not now.’

‘I better had.’ Ianto mumbled pulling on his jacket.

‘We need to talk!’ Jack cried desperately.

‘I have to get to work.’ Ianto replied over his shoulder as he headed for the door.

‘This is more important!’ Jack shouted after him. ‘Please Ianto!’

Ianto left the flat quickly and slammed the door behind him; he made his way down the stairs as fast as he could trying not to cry. His heart was pumping so hard against his chest and he felt sick to his stomach – how could Jack have kept such a thing from him?! Ianto shook his head, he had to concentrate on work now and deal with everything else later and he had to contain his feelings in front of the others, but he knew this would likely be impossible.

Jack debated over going after Ianto but knew it wasn’t a good idea; he went instead to the window and watched Ianto charge down the street in the direction of the hub. Jack rested his head against the window pane as he watched him – it had not gone well, not that he’d expected any difference. Jack prayed Ianto wouldn’t be too long and that when he returned he’d give him the chance to try and make things right.

Jack slid his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick message to Tosh: “Keep Ianto safe for me.” he wrote before sitting himself down for the agonising wait until he came back home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Bit of a fluffy one

Jack wandered around Ianto’s flat restlessly; it was now the dead of night and he couldn’t sleep even though he felt exhausted. Ianto had been gone hours, he was still out with the rest of the Torchwood team hunting down a rogue alien and Jack knew he wouldn't be able to settle until he was back. Unbeknownst to the team he was listening in on what happening through a pair of comms he'd snuck out of the hub; he hadn’t told them because he knew the whole point of him being away from the Hub was so that he could relax; Jack was pretty sure listening to his team mates chasing down aliens wasn’t exactly what Owen and Ianto had in mind.  
  
Jack sat down on the sofa, but in a few minutes was up and pacing again; he could hear Owen dealing out instructions to Gwen, Tosh and Ianto and had to bite his tongue so that he didn’t interrupt. Jack sighed with relief at the distinct sound of a tazer followed by Owen’s voice confirming that they’d captured the alien.

Jack flopped back on the sofa and closed his eyes briefly - his team was safe he told himself. Ianto was safe.   
  
‘Jack?’ Ianto said with a frown. ‘What are you still doing up at this hour?’ he asked locking the door to the flat behind him.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘How could I sleep after how we left things?’ he asked. ‘Besides I was worried about you out there.’ he confessed.  
  
‘We were fine.’ Ianto told him. ‘Owen is a good leader … he’s not you, but he knows what he’s doing.’  
  
Jack just nodded. ‘I know and I trust him to look after all of you but I just can’t shut myself off.’  
  
‘You’ve got to try.’ Ianto told him firmly. ‘For both your sakes.’ he encouraged. ‘She feels your stress too.’ he said reaching out and stroking his hand over his belly.  
  
Jack nodded once more. ‘I know.’ he mumbled feeling guilty for sneaking out the comms, if something did happen to his daughter he'd never forgive himself.  
  
Ianto sat down at the small table at the back of the living room and picked up the trousers he’d started to take out for Jack. ‘You look exhausted.’ he said gazing over at him.  
  
‘I ache all over.’ Jack groaned as he paced up and down with his hands on his lower back.  
  
‘Do you want me to run you a bath?’ Ianto asked glancing up from his stitching.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘I’ll do it.’ he replied. ‘Will those by done by tomorrow?’ he asked nodding to the trousers in Ianto’s hands.  
  
Ianto nodded. ‘I’m nearly done, why?’ he asked.  
  
‘My other pair kind of split.’ Jack replied sheepishly. ‘I’m getting fat.’ he grumbled.  
  
Ianto’s mouth twitched into a smile. ‘That does tend to happen when you’re pregnant.’ he replied as he continued stitching. ‘We need to discuss what we’re going to do when you’re really showing, I mean what if someone sees you?’  
  
Jack shrugged. ‘No one is going to guess the truth and if they do we’ll retcon them.’ he replied simply.  
  
Ianto winced slightly, not sure he liked that plan. ‘I’m not sure that’s really practical Jack, maybe it will best if you stayed here when that time comes?’ he suggested. ‘I mean it’s not like you’ll be able to do much at the hub besides paperwork and you hate that.’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘I’m not staying in this pokey flat day after day I’ll be bored out of my mind!’ he exclaimed.  
  
Ianto sighed. ‘Why are we even talking about this now?’ he replied with a weary shake of his head.  
  
Jack sat down on the edge of the sofa and fixed his gaze intently. ‘Because we’re avoiding talking about our real issues.’ he replied.  
  
Ianto closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘I’m too tired to go into it now, we’ll talk tomorrow.’  
  
Jack crossed his arms. ‘I’d rather sort this out now.’ he replied stubbornly.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘We’re both tired an irritable, it won’t do any good.’  
  
‘Fine, have it your way then.’ Jack snapped getting up and heading off.  
  
A few moments later Ianto heard the bathroom door slam; he quickly rubbed the tears away that had spilled down his cheeks and told himself to get a grip. Ianto quickly finished sewing the elastic into the trousers and then ironed them for Jack; he then let himself into to the spare room which had become Jack’s bedroom and hung them up in the wardrobe. Jack entered the room a few moments later wearing the fluffy dressing gown Ianto had loaned him and sat down on the edge of the bed. Ianto watched as he rubbed a fluffy towel over his wet hair and couldn’t help but smile.  
  
‘What?’ Jack asked glancing up at him with an amused smile.  
  
Ianto laughed and shook his head. ‘Nothing, well it’s just odd seeing you like this … looking so normal.’  
  
‘I’ve lost all my mysterious charm now haven’t I?’ Jack laughed. ‘Bet that doesn’t make me half as attractive to you as I once was?’  
  
Ianto glanced away and blushed heavily. ‘Not at all.’ he replied. ‘The more I get to know you, the more I love you Jack.’ he added quietly. Jack stared up at him and suddenly the atmosphere became awkward between them. Ianto quickly shut the wardrobe door. ‘I’ll let you get to bed.’ he said excusing himself from the room quickly.  
  
Jack just nodded wishing he could think of something to day in return; he could come up with all the innuendos and flirtatious comments he liked at a whim, but when it came to real feelings ... he was at a loss. Ianto left the room closing the door behind him and Jack flopped back onto the bed and sighed deeply. It was getting too hard to carry on he thought to himself, he couldn’t do this - he couldn't be so close to Ianto but so far away at the same time. He wanted him so badly and everyday that passed it was getting harder not easier as he first expected. Jack closed his eyes – he loved Ianto and knew that letting him go was for the best. He knew that it was selfish to want Ianto. But he couldn't help it.  
  
Jack knew that he shouldn’t have let Ianto get close in the first place, he should have stopped things long ago before he’d allowed himself to fall for him. Jack stared up at the ceiling, the thought of not seeing Ianto or their child again was an unbearable one and he knew the feeling would only get worse. Ultimately Jack knew he wasn’t going to be able to do it.

Jack sat up and couldn’t decide what to do now. Ianto wouldn’t want him anymore would he? Surely not after hiding the truth about Freya?  
  
Jack got up and left the bedroom; he went to Ianto’s across the hall and was about to knock when he heard the sound of him sobbing through the door. Jack pushed the door open a crack and saw Ianto curled up in a ball on the bed. Jack’s heart broke at the sight and he hated that he’d caused him so much pain. Feeling guilty, Jack retreated back to his own room.  
  
\----  
  
Hours passed and neither Jack nor Ianto slept very much at all; they both lay in bed staring up at their respective ceilings, a thousand thoughts running through their minds. More than once they each slid out of bed and went in search of the other only to stop themselves at the last minute.  
  
Jack was the first to break. It was so early now that it was getting light outside and the birds had started to sing. Jack let himself into Ianto’s bedroom after knocking softly but getting no reply. ‘Don’t hate me.’ he said gazing at Ianto who was now sitting on the edge of his bed staring out of the window. Jack had been lying in bed and when he could no longer bear being a part from Ianto he’d given in. All he wanted was to kiss him, to cuddle him and tell him everything was going to be okay but first he had to face up to the possible and likely rejection. 'The only reason I didn't tell you about Freya was to protect you.'  
  
‘You should have told me.’  
  
‘I know.’ Jack said sitting beside him; he glanced at Ianto and could see the silvery trails of dried tears that had run down his face. ‘I wanted to. I really did, but I just couldn’t get the words out.’ he tried to explain. ‘Then it all just seemed too late.’ he added with a weary shake of his head.  
  
‘It doesn’t matter Jack I had a right to know.’ Ianto replied sharply. ‘She was my daughter, she died and I didn’t even know.’  
  
Jack sighed heavily. ‘I’m sorry, there isn’t much more I can say than that.’  
  
Ianto crossed his arms. ‘There is. There is plenty more you can say.’ he replied stubbornly. ‘When things started to go wrong why didn’t you tell me then? I could have been there with you.’  
  
Jack cast his eyes down. ‘I know.’ he mumbled. ‘I just couldn’t do it, I couldn’t tell you I was losing a baby you didn’t even know I was capable of having.’  
  
Fresh tears formed in Ianto’s eyes. ‘You chose to go through all that pain alone.’ he whispered. ‘We could have got through it together.’  
  
‘I wanted you there. I needed you.'  
  
‘Why didn’t you contact me then?’ Ianto asked his tone was far softer and calmer now. He simply couldn’t stand to argue anymore because he knew it would do no good – what was done was done and he couldn’t change that no matter how much he wanted to. Now all he wanted was to understand why Jack had kept it from him all this time.  
  
Jack swallowed hard. ‘I wasn’t sure where we stood … I wasn’t sure if you’d come if I asked.’  
  
‘Jack.’ Ianto sighed. ‘I would have been there by your side in a shot.’ he told him.  
  
‘I know that now.’ Jack said reaching for Ianto’s hand. Ianto let him take it and let Jack pull him close. ‘I know if anything happened now –‘ Jack tried to continue.  
  
‘Don’t.’ Ianto said shaking his head quickly. ‘Nothing is going to happen to her.’ he whispered stroking his hand over Jack’s belly.  
  
Jack took his hand and pressed a kiss to Ianto’s wrist. ‘Ianto …’ he whispered. ‘Forgive me. Please.’ he begged.  
  
Ianto cried silent tears. ‘I don’t know if I can Jack.’  
  
Jack pressed a soft kiss to his lips. ‘Please. Please.’ he whispered between more kisses. He drew back and wiped Ianto’s tears away with his finger. ‘I’m so sorry; I regret everyday not telling you sooner.’  
  
‘I didn’t get to meet her Jack.’ Ianto cried. ‘I didn’t get to hold her in my arms; you took that away from me. You denied me the chance to say goodbye to her – to grieve her.’  
  
‘I was trying to protect you.’ Jack told him. ‘There was nothing you could do Ianto, there was nothing anyone could do.’  
  
Ianto sat up and wound his arms around Jack. ‘I’m so angry with you.’ he mumbled clinging to him despite this. ‘So angry.’ he mumbled into his neck.  
  
Jack pressed his lips to the side of Ianto’s face. ‘I love you.’ he whispered, tears spilling from his eyes and running down his cheeks. ‘I love you both so much.’  
  
Ianto moved his head to the side and tilted it up to capture Jack’s lips in a desperate kiss. Jack closed his eyes and kissed him back. Ianto teased his lips open and then slid his tongue deep into his mouth. They kissed each other tenderly, lovingly, until they had to break for air. Jack stroked Ianto’s tears away with the pad of his thumb as he felt Ianto’s trembling hands slide under his shirt. Jack didn’t protest as Ianto’s mouth latched onto his once more as he stripped his clothes from his body and manoeuvred him down onto the bed.  
  
Ianto was more than surprised when Jack suddenly broke the kiss and broke away. ‘What is it?’ he asked gazing at him. ‘You don’t want this?’ he asked.  
  
Jack sighed heavily. ‘I do, of course I do.’ he replied. ‘I just don’t think we should, we’re both pretty emotional right now and we shouldn’t do anything we’ll only regret.’  
  
Ianto sighed and climbed off the bed. ‘I didn't think it would be something to regret.’ he muttered heading out of the room.  
  
‘Yan.’ Jack protested slipping off the bed and following him out.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘It’s fine Jack.’ he said sitting down on the sofa heavily. 'You're right."  
  
‘Ianto ...’ Jack sighed as he sat down beside him.  
  
Ianto glanced at the bag of clothes he’d bought earlier that day and remembered that Jack had mentioned buying some for Freya. ‘You bought clothes for her … you wanted to keep her didn’t you?’ he asked.  
  
Jack nodded. ‘I did.’ he told him, his heavy heart sinking.  
  
‘You must have thought about the future? About us?’ Ianto asked. 'If you wanted to keep her then, why don't you want to keep this one? What's changed?'  
  
Jack chewed at his bottom lip as he thought for a few moments. ‘I just kept thinking about the moment I’d get to hold her in my arms. That was the only future I thought about; I didn’t really plan any further ahead … this time I'm more cautious.’  
  
‘When she was born -’ Ianto started to ask.  
  
Jack closed his eyes. ‘She was beautiful.’ he whispered. ‘She had the brightest blue eyes and her hair was as dark as yours.’ he said glancing at Ianto.

Ianto's smiled slightly. 'I can picture her.' he replied.

Jack’s fingers tangled through Ianto’s and he squeezed them tightly. ‘I buried her on my home planet.’ he told him.  
  
‘You did?’  
  
Jack nodded. ‘I’ll take you if you want?’ he offered.  
  
Ianto nodded. ‘I want to. I need to Jack.’ he told him. ‘I want to feel close to her. I want to be able to say goodbye.’  
  
Jack’s eyes glistened. ‘I had to tell you Ianto; I want this little one to know she had a sister.’ he said stroking his hand over his belly.  
  
‘When she is older you can tell her all about Freya.’ Ianto told him. ‘I don’t care what you say Jack, you’re doing this, you’re being a part of her life, you’re being her father.’  
  
Jack took Ianto’s hands. ‘I want her safe Ianto.’  
  
‘We’ll protect her, we’ll never let anything happen to her.’ Ianto replied not prepared to take no for an answer. ‘I can’t do this on my own. I don’t want to do this on my own.’  
  
Jack studied him. ‘So despite everything, despite the fact kept the truth about Freya from you, you still want to be with me?’ he asked uncertainly.  
  
‘Of course.’ Ianto replied with a determined nod. ‘Jack I love you, and what you did hurt but it doesn’t how I feel about you. Nothing ever will.’  
  
‘I don’t deserve you.’ Jack mumbled as his eyes welled up with even more tears.  
  
Ianto kissed him softly on the lips. ‘Please Jack.’ he begged. ‘Please say you want us.’  
  
‘I do, you know I do.’ Jack replied in a whisper, his hand slid down Ianto’s cheek and he lifted his head so their eyes met.  
  
Ianto’s eyes brimmed with tears. ‘You’re serious?’  
  
Jack brushed his lips against Ianto’s. ‘I love you and I love our daughter. I don’t think I can be without either of you.’  
  
Ianto smiled. ‘You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear that.’ he said as he wiped away Jack’s tears, his own escaping from his eyes and dripping down his face.  
  
‘We have to make this work Ianto.’ Jack told him.  
  
Ianto nodded. ‘We will cariad, I promise we will.’  
  
Jack swallowed hard. ‘I still think you should leave Torchwood.’ he told him.  
  
‘Jack I -’ Ianto started to protest.  
  
‘Please Ianto.’ Jack begged. ‘It will help keep the two of you safe.’  
  
Ianto nodded and pressed a soft kiss to Jacks lips. ‘If that’s what it takes then fine.’  
  
Jack smiled. ‘Thank you.’ he replied more than a little surprised – he hadn’t expected Ianto to give in to this condition so easily.  
  
Ianto curled up against Jack on the sofa, pressing his body as close to his as he could. Jack grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around them. In a matter of moments Jack was drifting off to sleep, but Ianto still had worries. ‘I’m scared I’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll have changed your mind.’ he confessed.  
  
‘I won’t.’ Jack told him sleepily. ‘You, me and our baby that’s all I want.’  
  
Ianto smiled and leant up to capture his lips in another soft kiss. ‘Me too.’  
  
Jack gazed down at him and smiled back softly.   
  
Ianto toyed with his next decision. ‘Jack, I want to go … I want to go to Boeshane. I want to see where she is buried.’  
  
Jack swallowed hard; he knew Ianto needed to do this but he had no desire to go there himself, it felt wrong somehow to go there since he was pregnant again like he was trying to replace Freya or something but he knew he couldn’t deny Ianto. ‘I’ll call the Doctor tomorrow.’ he told him.  
  
‘I can go on my own if you want?’ Ianto offered knowing that it would cause all kinds of emotions to come bubbling back to the surface for Jack; more grief was the last thing he wanted to cause him.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘No.’ he said quickly. ‘I need to be there with you.’ he said taking Ianto’s hand tightly in his own.  
  
Ianto studied him for a few moments – he could see Jack was torn over this decision; he didn’t want to go but was willing for his sake. ‘Only if you’re sure.’ he replied.  
  
‘I’m sure.’ Jack nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between updates, the finished fic is available on my Livejournal along with many other Torchwood fics there (everlongsplace.livejournal.com)  
> I will finish posting here too though :-)

When Ianto woke the following morning he found himself curled up on the sofa; he deliberately kept his eyes closed because he didn’t want to wake up to find Jack gone again. Ianto couldn’t feel him or the warmth of his body next to him, couldn’t hear his breathing or smell those irresistible pheromones. Ianto found the courage to open his eyes and was not surprised to find himself alone; he sat up and glanced around the living room – Jack was nowhere to be seen. ‘Jack?’ he called scrambling up off the sofa. ‘Jack?’ he called as he wandered around the flat in the vain hope of finding him. Ianto’s heart sank when he searched the whole flat and didn’t find him anywhere.  
  
Ianto wandered around the spare room Jack was using and noticed the trousers he’d sewn for him the previous night were gone along with his RAF coat and boots. Ianto sat down on the edge of the bed and all he could feel was complete and utter despair – he really thought Jack had meant it this time. Ianto wondered why he was so surprised, perhaps Jack had just promised him all those things to get back in his good books. Feeling thoroughly used and depressed, Ianto got up and wandered off to the bathroom – he had to get to work but the thought of facing Jack was not a happy one.  
  
\---  
  
When Ianto entered the hub he immediately spotted Jack at his desk; he avoided making eye contact with him and wandered into the kitchen. As he was preparing the coffee Ianto heard footsteps head his way and knew by the sound of boots on the metal walkway that it was Jack. Ianto took a deep breath and tried to keep calm – he couldn’t risk their baby’s health so had to try not to argue with Jack.  
  
‘Morning.’ Jack smiled laying his hand on Ianto’s shoulder. Ianto couldn’t help but glare up at him – how could Jack be so cheerful after he’d broke his heart yet again? ‘What is it?’ Jack asked slightly alarmed by the look Ianto was giving him. ‘Are you angry with me?’  
  
‘Of course I am.’ Ianto snapped. ‘After everything you said last night how do you expect me to feel?’  
  
‘Oh.’ Jack said assuming he was referring to the truth about Freya rather than his promise for them to be together.  
  
Ianto wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down his cheek. ‘I really thought you meant it this time.’ he said turning his back on Jack as he started to prepare a jug of coffee.  
  
Jack frowned slightly. ‘What are you talking about?’ he asked feeling a little lost.  
  
‘Us Jack.’ Ianto hissed trying not to raise his voice so the others would hear him. ‘I’m talking about us, I thought you were serious when you said you wanted to be with me?’  
  
‘I was.’ Jack told him.  
  
Ianto glanced up at him. ‘You were?’ he asked cautiously. ‘But then why did you disappear on me again?’  
  
Realisation suddenly dawn on Jack and he quickly wanted to resolve the situation. ‘I woke up early so I decided to come here and get hold of the Doctor, he’ll be here tonight to take us Boshane.’ he explained. ‘I’m sorry ... I wanted to be back home before you woke up but you beat me to it.’  
  
Ianto studied him. ‘Really?’ he asked uneasily – was he just saying what he wanted to hear or was this the truth?  
  
‘Yes Yan really.’ Jack replied his eyes resting on his. ‘Believe me. Please.’  
  
Ianto could tell by the desperation in Jack’s eyes that he was telling the truth and felt a huge surge of relief. ‘God I feel like a prize idiot.’ he said with a shy smile. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s not like you’ve never done it before.’ he added.  
  
Jack nodded his head slightly. ‘I have mucked you around enough, I don’t blame you for thinking I’d do the same again.’ he told him. ‘So ... are we okay?’ he asked worriedly.  
  
Ianto nodded and suddenly felt rather silly. ‘Yeah we’re okay.’ he smiled up at him. ‘So we’re going tonight?’ he asked.  
  
Jack nodded. ‘I thought it was best for the Doctor to arrive when the others aren’t here.’ he explained. ‘It will just cause unnecessary complications.’  
  
‘I think you’re right … let’s keep this between us eh?’ Ianto replied; Jack just nodded in agreement. ‘Today is going to be a very long day isn’t it?’ Ianto sighed.  
  
Jack nodded. ‘Probably the longest we’ve ever known.’  
  
Ianto poured the prepared coffee and handed Jack a cup before pouring himself one. Ianto leant against the kitchen unit and glanced at Jack. ‘I feel a little anxious about finally meeting this Doctor of yours.’ he confessed.  
  
‘He’s not my Doctor Ianto.’ Jack replied. ‘He’s just a friend, a very good friend and that’s all he’ll ever be.’  
  
Ianto’s eyes met Jack’s. ‘I trust you cariad.’  
  
Jack smiled gratefully and their eyes lingered on each other’s. Suddenly their lips met in a frenzied kiss. The coffee cups lay abandoned on the worktop; Ianto clung to Jack as he was backed against the counter, desperate not to let him go as they kissed each other. Each poured every ounce of love they felt for the other into the kiss, determined to make sure the other knew exactly how they felt.  
  
‘I’m not going anywhere.’ Jack whispered as they drew apart. ‘It’s us now.’ he said. ‘The three us.’  
  
Ianto slid his arms around Jack and cuddled him close. ‘That’s all I want Jack.’ he mumbled into his chest. ‘All I’ve ever wanted is to be with you. I love you.’ he whispered into his shoulder.  
  
Jack kissed him deeply. ‘I love you too.’ he breathed his eyes on Ianto’s so he could have no doubts as to how he felt. ‘I’ve only ever loved you.’  
  
Hearing someone heading for the kitchen they quickly drew apart. ‘Any coffee going begging? I’m desperate.’ Owen said popping his head around the door.  
  
‘I’ll make a fresh pot, you won’t want this decaff.’ Ianto replied as he straightened his suit.  
  
Owen glanced at Jack. ‘How are you feeling? I noticed your blood pressure was up again last night.’  
  
‘I’m fine.’ Jack replied trying to flatten his hair before Owen noticed that it was sticking up all over the place from where Ianto had combed his fingers through it.  
  
‘Hmmm … well alright, but remember you’re supposed to be relaxing. That’s the whole point of you staying at Ianto’s.’ Owen reminded him.  
  
‘I’m doing my best Owen.’ Jack replied irritably. ‘It’s not always easy you know. I’ve got pregnancy hormones on top of all this other stress to deal with.’  
  
‘Here.’ Ianto said pushing a cup of fresh coffee into Owen’s hand before he could have the chance to argue back. Owen took the hint and left the kitchen; Jack also headed off and went to his office. Ianto followed him and closed the door behind him. ‘He means well.’ he told him.  
  
‘He’s the one stressing me out.’ Jack muttered. ‘He just doesn’t understand what it’s like being pregnant here … now … it’s not right. It’s far from right. I’m scared someone will find out, I’m scared I’ll lose this baby like I did Freya and I’m scared of how much our lives are going to change in just a few months.’ he confessed.  
  
‘That last one is natural I think.’ Ianto replied taking a seat. ‘Our lives will change, but it will be for the better. We’ll have a baby, our baby Jack.’ he smiled.  
  
Jack rubbed his hand over his stomach. ‘I know.’ he nodded. ‘But what if I’m not a good dad? What if I just can’t do this?’  
  
‘You will be brilliant.’ Ianto told him. ‘We’ll get through this together I promise Jack, you’re not alone in this. You never have been.’  
  
Jack nodded his head.  
  
‘I’ve never travelled in time before … or left this planet.’ Ianto said changing the subject. ‘If the circumstances were different I’d think of this as an adventure.’ he added thoughtfully.  
  
‘I want to show you something before we go.’ Jack said. ‘But it’s up to you.’  
  
Ianto frowned slightly. ‘What is it?’ he asked.  
  
Jack swallowed hard. ‘Freya.’ he said quietly. ‘I have a picture of her, it was taken just after she was born.’  
  
Ianto’s eyes widened. ‘You have a picture of her?’  
  
Jack chewed his bottom lip worriedly. ‘I know it doesn’t seem right, but I’m going to live forever Ianto and I don’t want to risk forgetting any detail of her.’  
  
Ianto wasn’t sure whether he wanted to see but for some reason he knew he needed to; he nodded his head slowly. ‘Show me.’ he said in a whisper.  
  
Jack swallowed hard and his eyes darted over his. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked anxiously.  
  
Ianto nodded quickly. ‘I need to see her.’ he told him determinedly.  
  
Jack reached into the top drawer of his desk and slid out the small metal tin; it was an old biscuit tin, a little rusty in places and had a large dent in one side. Jack carefully removed the lid with some difficulty and found the picture laying on the very top of the pile. Jack picked it up, his eyes drifting over the image before he laid it face down on the table and pushed it toward Ianto. ‘This is the only one.’ he told him.  
  
Ianto toyed with the corner of the picture. ‘Does she look … ?’ he couldn’t finish his sentence.  
  
‘No, she looks like she's sleeping.’ Jack said shaking his head.  
  
Ianto turned the picture over and his eyes swept over it; he didn’t know how to feel and just sat staring at the picture. Jack did not bother to say anything; instead he simply reached out and took Ianto’s hand. Ianto’s fingers curled around his and a tear spilled from his cheek. ‘She was beautiful.’ he whispered.  
  
Jack just nodded.  
  
Ianto swallowed back the tears. ‘How did it happen?’ he asked. ‘Why did she die?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘These things just happen Ianto.’  
  
Ianto glanced up at him. ‘The Doctor took you to your own time where male pregnancies are normal right?’ he asked. Jack again just nodded. ‘Then why couldn’t they do anything? Surely they could have done something?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘There was nothing they could do … she just died Ianto, even by the 51st century they haven’t worked out a way to stop death.’  
  
‘But there must have been a reason? There must have been something wrong? Something must have happened?’  
  
‘Her heart stopped.’ Jack told him. ‘There were complications early on in my pregnancy, she fought to survive for so long but in the end it just wasn’t mean to be.’  
  
Ianto’s hand slipped out of his and he rubbed away his tears. ‘Even your Doctor couldn’t do anything?’ he asked. ‘He’s a time traveller isn’t he? Couldn’t he have gone back? Stopped it from happening?’  
  
‘No Ianto.’ Jack said shaking his head sorrowfully.  
  
‘Why not?!’ Ianto cried, before bursting into tears.  
  
Jack got up quickly and cuddled him close. ‘Please Ianto believe me if there was anything I could have done, anything at all, then I would have.’  
  
Ianto sobbed into his shoulder and Jack just held him. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’ he whispered over and over again.  
  
Ianto eventually drew back. ‘It’s not your fault.’ he said with a shake of his head.  
  
Jack put the picture away carefully. ‘I’m so scared it will happen again.’ he confessed. 'And I don't think I can cope with that.'

‘We won't let it.’ Ianto replied determinedly.   
  
‘Maybe this just isn’t meant to be … maybe we’re not compatible because we’re from different times … maybe that’s why she couldn’t survive?’  
  
‘So it’s my fault?’ Ianto asked.  
  
‘I’m not saying that.’ Jack replied calmly. ‘I’m just saying that no one from the 51st century has tried to have a child with someone of the 21st.’  
  
‘The Doctor he’ll know, he’ll have visited you in the future surely he’d know if you have a child?’ Ianto asked.  
  
‘He might well do but he can’t tell us that.’ Jack told him.  
  
Ianto looked outraged by this. ‘So you’re saying that he wouldn’t tell you, he wouldn’t put an end to all out misery … all our worry? Some friend he is.’  
  
‘He can’t Ianto.’ Jack told him. ‘He can’t tell us anything because it could drastically change things.’  
  
Ianto crossed his arms and sighed irritably. ‘What’s the point of him then?’ he snapped.  
  
Jack took Ianto’s hands. ‘Please believe Ianto, we can’t know what’s going to happen. Bad things happen when you mess with time.’ he warned him. ‘I mean what if we knew she survived – yes maybe it would stop us worrying, but it would also stop us keeping such a close eye on her and then something might go wrong and we’d lose her. Do you see?’  
  
‘But you’re taking me to the future tonight, you’re taking me to Boshane.’ Ianto argued.  
  
‘That’s different.’ Jack replied. ‘We’re not there to change anything, we’re just visitors.’  
  
‘I guess.’ Ianto sighed; he rubbed his eyes. ‘But if you’re not meant to change things, if you’re not meant to mess with time then surely the fact you’re pregnant here in this time, with me as the father isn’t right either?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘It’s hard to explain, some things are just fluid others are set part of events. Just trust me okay?’  
  
Ianto nodded his head slightly. ‘I want to go home.’ he told Jack. ‘I just need to be on my own for a bit before we go tonight. I hope you don’t mind?’  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘Of course not.’ he replied. ‘Go.’ he encouraged.  
  
Ianto got up and kissed Jack on the lips. ‘We’ll be okay.’ he told him. ‘All of us.’ he said stroking his hand over his stomach.  
  
Jack smiled and nodded determined to remain positive. ‘I’ll see you later then?’ he asked anxiously.  
  
Ianto stopped in the doorway. ‘I’ll be here.’ he told him.  
  
\---  
  
‘Are you okay Jack?’ Gwen asked later that afternoon. ‘You’ve barely said a word today.’  
  
Jack who was gazing down at his paperwork, but not really concentrating on it, glanced up at Gwen. ‘Sorry? What did you say?’ he asked.  
  
Gwen laughed. ‘I was just asking if you were okay?’ she replied as she took a seat opposite his desk.  
  
‘I’m fine.’ Jack replied quickly; it was a complete lie of course – he didn’t feel fine at all, he was worried about going to Boshane, of how he’d feel when he saw the place where Freya was buried. He felt guilty for being happy about this baby when she’d not even had a chance at life.  
  
Gwen just nodded her head slightly; the two sat in an awkward silence for the next few moments. ‘So …has Ianto thought of any names yet?’ she asked trying to make light conversation.  
  
‘Not yet ... well not that I know of.’ Jack mumbled pretending to read through Owen’s report when really he was just waiting for Gwen to leave so he could return to his thoughts.  
  
‘Not long to go now.’ Gwen enthused. ‘Then we can all get back to normal.’  
  
‘Normal?’ Jack asked glancing up at her.  
  
‘Well I guess Ianto won’t be here anymore but otherwise …’ Gwen started to reply.  
  
Jack gritted his teeth. ‘Do you think it would be that easy?’ he asked. ‘Do you honestly think it would all just go back to the way it was?’  
  
Gwen studied him for a few moments and couldn’t help but feel a little confused. ‘I thought that’s what you wanted?’ she asked.  
  
‘It’s not what I wanted, of course it’s not, but it’s what I thought was best.’ Jack replied.  
  
‘And now?’ Gwen asked with a slight frown.  
  
‘Now I’ve reconsidered.’ Jack replied. ‘I just can’t walk away from her, she’s as much my responsibility as Ianto’s. Pushing them away isn’t going to help matters – it’s a coward’s way out.’  
  
‘When did you decide this?’ Gwen asked. ‘You were adamant about Ianto taking the baby and leaving before.’  
  
‘I told you I’ve reconsidered.’ Jack stated simply.  
  
‘No, he’s persuaded you otherwise.’ Gwen replied sharply. ‘Honestly Jack I can’t believe how easily swayed by him you are!’  
  
‘What’s that supposed to mean?!’ Jack argued.  
  
Gwen sighed and tried to keep herself calm – Owen would be in like a shot if she caused Jack’s blood pressure to rise. ‘All I’m saying is that Ianto clearly want to be with you, he’ll say anything to keep you … he’s the one that’s not thinking straight; he cares more about being with you than what’s best for your baby.’  
  
Jack gazed down at his stomach. ‘Why are you saying this Gwen?’ he asked. ‘Why are you always putting me and Ianto against each other? Don’t you want us to be happy?’  
  
‘I’m being realistic Jack.’ Gwen told him. ‘You’re immortal, you’re the head of Torchwood, you’re from the 51st century – I don’t think fatherhood comes easily with that territory.’  
  
Jack swallowed hard. ‘Thank you for your words of wisdom Gwen but this is my baby … mine and Ianto’s and we’ll decide what’s best.’  
  
Gwen got up. ‘Fine.’ she said. ‘I only hope I don’t have to say I told you so.’ she muttered under her breath before she left the room.  
  
‘Gwen?’ Tosh asked glancing up from her computer screen when she heard Jack’s office door slam. ‘What’s the matter?’  
  
‘Nothing.’ Gwen replied sitting down on the sofa with a heavy sigh. ‘Were either of you aware Jack and Ianto were back on?’ she asked glancing between Owen and Tosh.  
  
‘No, are you serious?’ Tosh asked wondering why Ianto wouldn’t have told her.  
  
Gwen nodded. ‘It’s absolutely ridiculous.’ she seethed. ‘They’re both being selfish.’  
  
Tosh’s eyebrows rose and she glanced at Owen. ‘I don’t know about you but I think it’s a good thing; those two are crazy about each other – they’re just too damn stubborn to admit it.’  
  
Owen smiled slightly. ‘If it stops them arguing I’m happy.’  
  
‘Have you both gone mad?!’ Gwen asked. ‘We can’t have a baby in this place!’ she said gesturing to the hub in general.  
  
‘Hardly.’ Owen replied nodding in agreement. ‘But they’ll sort something out, they’re not going to put their kid in danger are they?’  
  
Gwen just shook her head. ‘If it were me I’d want my baby as far away from this place as possible.’ she said getting up. ‘That’s why men shouldn’t be able to have children … they haven’t got the instincts.’ she muttered glaring up at Jack who was standing in the doorway before she headed down to the firing range to vent her anger at the targets.  
  
Jack glanced at Owen and Tosh. ‘Do you think we’re being selfish?’ he asked.  
  
Tosh shook her head quickly. ‘No, wanting to keep your family together is not selfish at all.’ she told him.  
  
Owen nodded in agreement. ‘With you two for parents that kid is in the safest possible hands.’  
  
‘Thank you.’ Jack smiled gratefully.  
  
\---  
  
Ianto was just getting ready to go back to the hub – it was almost 10 o’clock and he knew very shortly he’d come face to face with Jack’s doctor for the first time. He was scared of meeting him, he knew he could never possibly match up. The Doctor could take Jack anywhere in the universe, any time … they could have wild adventures together, saving civilisations and getting into all sorts of trouble. Ianto sighed heavily - all he could offer Jack was wet and windy 21st century, weevil infested, Cardiff.  
  
Ianto pulled on his coat and was about to leave the flat when there was a knock at the door; thinking it was Jack he pulled open the door. ‘I was just on my way – oh Tosh! What are you doing here?’ he asked a little surprised to see her standing on his doorstep.  
  
‘Going somewhere?’ Tosh asked.  
  
‘Oh … yeah well I’m just heading back to the hub to meet Jack.’ Ianto replied. ‘Don’t want him wandering around on his own whilst he’s pregnant now do we.’ he laughed nervously.  
  
Tosh could tell he was lying but decided not to question him over it. ‘I just came by to see how you were. When you went home earlier today I was a little worried.’  
  
‘I’m fine.’ Ianto nodded. ‘Just needed to think some things through.’ he told her.  
  
‘About you and Jack?’ Tosh asked.  
  
Ianto swallowed nervously. ‘Yeah I guess so.’  
  
‘Gwen told us you two were back together?’ Tosh asked.  
  
Ianto smiled slightly. ‘Well we weren’t exactly together properly in the first place, but yes we are now. We’re going to make a go of it.’  
  
‘I think that’s great.’ Tosh grinned. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ she asked.  
  
Ianto sat down. ‘It’s hard to celebrate good news when you’ve been given the most devastating at the same time.’ he mumbled on the verge of tears as he thought about Freya.  
  
‘Ianto! What is it?’ Tosh cried in alarm as she watched tears drip down her friend’s face. ‘You should be happy, you and Jack are together now that’s what you wanted wasn’t it?’  
  
‘Of course.’ Ianto mumbled, sniffing back his tears. ‘More than anything.’  
  
‘What’s wrong then?’ Tosh asked. ‘You can tell me anything.’  
  
Ianto glanced up at her – he wanted to tell her but wasn’t sure whether he could or not, Jack hadn’t told a soul was it really his place. ‘I’m not sure I can Tosh.’ he mumbled. ‘Jack wouldn’t want me to.’  
  
Tosh took Ianto’s hands. ‘I won’t tell anyone I promise.’  
  
Ianto closed his eyes. ‘Freya …’ he mumbled. ‘Jack’s first child, the one he lost ....’  
  
Tosh’s gripped his hands. ‘She was yours wasn’t she?’ she asked.  
  
Ianto nodded. ‘How did you know?’ he asked, his eyes drifting over hers.  
  
‘The day we found out he was pregnant … when he mentioned losing his first child he couldn’t take his eyes of you … he looked so sorrowful. I suspected then.’ Tosh explained. ‘He never told you did he?’  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘Not until last night.’ he mumbled. ‘I don’t think he would have done if he wasn’t pregnant again.’  
  
‘He would have … in his own time.’ Tosh whispered. ‘I’m so sorry Ianto.’  
  
Ianto nodded slightly. ‘Thank you Tosh. Now I’m sorry but I have to go.’ he said glancing at his watch.  
  
‘Where are you going?’ Tosh asked glancing up at him as Ianto dabbed his eyes dry with a tissue.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘Like I told you I’m just going to meet Jack.’  
  
Tosh sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to give in and tell her the truth. ‘Alright, well I’d best be off then. Will you be in tomorrow?’ she asked. Ianto nodded. ‘Okay.’ Tosh smiled. ‘See you then.’ she said pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before leaving the flat.  
  
After washing his face and patting it dry with a towel Ianto left and made his way back to the hub hoping it wasn’t obvious he was crying. When he arrived he stopped in the doorway to see a large blue police box parked next to Tosh’s desk.  
  
Ianto took a deep breath.  
  
He was here.


	15. Chapter 15

‘Ah Ianto Jones we meet at last!’ The Doctor declared bounding out from Jack’s office and shaking Ianto warmly by the hand. ‘So good to finally meet you I’ve heard so much, Jack doesn’t stop talking about you!’  
  
Ianto glanced at Jack curiously before turning back to the Doctor. ‘All good I hope.’ he replied politely; he was trying not to stare at the Doctor but he couldn’t help it – he wasn’t anything like he was expecting. This man – this skinny, bow tie clad, boyish looking stranger was the time traveller Jack had spoke so fondly of? He looked barely old enough to tie his own shoe laces let alone save the planet so many times and be as wise as Jack had claimed.  
  
‘Of course it’s all good.’ The Doctor beamed. ‘He’s crazy about you, any fool can see that.’  
  
‘Well I must be a fool then.’ Ianto smiled. ‘Up until recently I wasn’t sure how he felt.’ he replied noticing that the Doctor still had hold of his hand and wondering when he was going to let go.  
  
The Doctor patted Ianto on the back. ‘I only wish we could have met in more desirable circumstances.’ he said suddenly becoming very serious.  
  
Ianto took a deep breath. ‘So do I.’ he mumbled – he was finding it very hard to take the Doctor seriously, was he really over 900 years old? Was he really the last survivor of the Time Lord race? He looked more like a student dressed in his grandfather’s clothes.  
  
The Doctor clapped his hands together. ‘Okay! Jack why don’t you take Ianto on a tour of the TARDIS while I get her fired up?’  
  
‘Sure.’ Jack grinned. ‘Come on, you’re going to like this.’ he said taking Ianto by the hand and pushing open the small wooden door of the TARDIS.  
  
Ianto’s eyes widened at what he saw when he stepped inside. ‘It’s … it’s …’  
  
‘Bigger on the inside, yes you’re not the first to have noticed that.’ The Doctor grinned as he closed the door behind them. ‘I won’t bore you with the details.’  
  
Ianto wanted to ask how it was possible but knew he was unlikely to understand; instead he drifted around the room aimlessly just taking all the sights and sounds of the impossible ship. He knew Tosh would kill to be on board a ship like this and felt a little bad for not giving her the chance, but he knew this was something that he and Jack had to do on their own.  
  
Jack stood by the door and just stared at the inside of the TARDIS. ‘Everything okay Jack?’ the Doctor asked with a slight frown.  
  
Jack’s eyes rested on his. ‘It’s different, it’s not the same.’ he replied rather surprised – this was not the first regeneration he’d known the Doctor to go through but the TARDIS had always remained the same.  
  
‘Oh …’ The Doctor replied glancing around. ‘Yes well when I regenerated the ship kind of got a little destroyed. Had to rebuild – don’t you like it?’ he asked whirling around.  
  
‘Yeah …’ Jack nodded – he couldn’t deny that the interior was beautiful, ‘it’s just not the same. The TARDIS was the closest thing I had to a home but it doesn’t feel that way anymore.’ he told the Doctor.  
  
‘Maybe that’s because you have a home with Ianto now?’ The Doctor suggested, patting him on the shoulder fondly.  
  
Jack smiled slightly. ‘Maybe … well Ianto hasn’t exactly asked me to move in permanently yet.’ he confessed. ‘At the moment we’re still in separate rooms.’  
  
‘Oh I see.’ The Doctor replied with raised eyebrows. ‘Actually no I don’t.’ he frowned. ‘You two are together right? I mean you’re having a baby aren’t you?’ he said.  
  
‘Oh you noticed.’ Jack replied blushing slightly.  
  
‘Hard not to!’ The Doctor laughed as he placed his hands on Jack's belly. ‘You’re getting big, so what are we having?’ he asked patting him fondly.  
  
‘A girl.’ Jack replied unable to prevent the huge smile from appearing on his lips.  
  
‘It is his right?’ The Doctor asked in a low whisper.  
  
‘Of course.’ Jack replied rather annoyed that people kept asking him this. The Doctor just looked apologetically at him. ‘I need to ask you something actually.’ Jack said to him.  
  
‘Go on.’ The Doctor encouraged.  
  
Jack knotted his fingers together anxiously. ‘It’s just that last time I was pregnant it didn’t … well it didn’t work out did it?’  
  
The Doctor laid his hand down Jack’s arm comfortingly. ‘You’re worried it will happen again?’ he asked.  
  
Jack nodded; he gazed up at the Doctor desperately. ‘Is it because we’re from different times? Are we not compatible?’ he asked. ‘Will I lose this baby too?’  
  
‘Jack Jack Jack …’ The Doctor said shaking his head. ‘We went through all this before didn’t we? Remember you asked the nurses these exact questions after you lost Freya?’  
  
‘I did?’ Jack asked with a slight frown. ‘Sorry I don’t remember, I was just a mess back then.’  
  
The Doctor smiled. ‘Luckily you had me there then isn’t it? Look, the doctors said that it has nothing to do with you being from different times.’ he told Jack. ‘They said you’re perfectly capable of having a child together if you wanted to try again … obviously that’s what you did.’  
  
‘Actually this was an accident.’ Jack replied sheepishly. ‘Thank you for being there, I don't know what I could have done without you.’ he mumbled gripping the Doctor’s hand tightly.  
  
The Doctor rubbed Jack’s back. ‘If there isn’t anything I can do to help I’ll do it.’ he told him. ‘I may have a different face but I’m still your friend Jack.’  
  
Jack smiled at him. ‘You get younger every time I see you and your fashion sense get’s stranger too.’ he teased. ‘I would say handsomer but I’m not so sure.’  
  
‘Hey bowties are cool.’ The Doctor pouted as he tweaked his bowtie. ‘Anyway what’s wrong with this face? It’s perfection!’  
  
‘Hardly.’ Jack grinned. ‘Perfection is standing just over there.’ he said nodding toward Ianto who was still wandering around the TARDIS in a daze.  
  
‘To you maybe.’ The Doctor grinned as he nudged him. ‘I never thought I’d see you settle down Jack. How has he done it?’  
  
Jack laughed lightly. ‘I don’t know.’ he said shaking his head. ‘He’s everything to me Doctor. Everything.’  
  
Ianto turned to see Jack gazing at him with a rather love sick expression on his face and couldn’t help but smile back – it was good to see that it was aimed toward him rather than the other individual on board the ship. He could see that Jack and the Doctor close, but know he’s seen them together he could see it was just a friendship and felt more relaxed toward the Doctor – perhaps because he felt less threatened by him. ‘Are we going?’ he asked.  
  
The Doctor clapped his hands together eagerly. ‘Yes yes let's go!’  
  
Jack crossed the TARDIS and took Ianto by the hand. ‘Sure you want to do this?’ he asked.  
  
Ianto nodded quickly. ‘I need to, _we_ need to, hopefully we can both find closure.’  
  
Jack pressed a kiss to his hand and nodded. ‘Let’s get going then Doc.’ he said glancing over at him.  
  
‘Alright, hold on tight!’ The Doctor encouraged as he rushed around the central console pushing buttons, tapping on his typewriter and peering up at a multitude of screens.  
  
Ianto gripped onto Jack tightly. ‘I really don’t think I’m made for time travelling lark.’ he shouted about the sound of the TARDIS engines.  
  
‘You get used to it.’ Jack replied holding Ianto close.  
  
Ianto buried his head in Jack’s shoulder. ‘I feel sea sick.’ he mumbled as the ship swayed back and forth as they travelled through both time and space. Ianto groaned as they landed roughly. ‘Couldn’t you make the ride a bit comfortable?’ he asked the Doctor.  
  
‘Where’s the fun in that?!’ The Doctor laughed as he picked himself up off the floor. ‘We’re here.’ he told them.  
  
‘That was quick.’ Ianto replied suddenly feeling very anxious. ‘We’re actually here?’ he asked.  
  
Jack headed to the door and pulled it open; The Doctor had parked the ship on a grassy field and in the distance Jack could see the beach and the city where he grew up. ‘This is it Ianto, this is Boshane.’  
  
Ianto stepped out of the TARDIS, wincing as he tried to adjust to the brilliance of the light that shone from the two suns in the sky. ‘This is another planet?’ he asked glancing around – it wasn’t so different to earth aside from some strange looking trees and cars flying by.  
  
‘It’s a human colony.’ Jack told him. ‘But you’re right we’re not on Earth anymore. We’re thousands of years into the future too.’  
  
‘Flying cars do exist then?’ Ianto asked nodding toward the traffic whizzing around the city in the distance.  
  
Jack laughed. ‘Yep, you lot managed to predict one thing.’ he replied. ‘But you got a lot wrong too.’  
  
The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ he told them. ‘Shall we meet back here in a couple of hours?’  
  
Jack nodded. ‘What will you do?’ he asked.  
  
‘Oh you know me.’ The Doctor grinned. ‘I’m sure I’ll find something to keep me occupied.’  
  
‘Don’t get into too much mischief.’ Jack warned him.  
  
The Doctor’s eyes flashed dangerously. ‘Me? Mischief? Never!’ he laughed before setting off.  
  
Ianto took a deep breath and gazed up at Jack. ‘So where do we go?’ he asked finding it strange to be out in the sunshine when only a few moments ago he was dashing through the rainy 21st century Cardiff streets late in night.  
  
‘This way.’ Jack said holding Ianto’s hand tightly in his own; he led him up a gravel path away from the beach and through some long grass. ‘I buried her just under that tree.’ he said pointing a little way in the distance.  
  
Ianto’s heart began to pound the closer they got to the tree and eventually he stopped all together. Jack turned to him. ‘Do you want to go back?’ he asked.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘I just need a few minutes.’ he mumbled. ‘On my own?’ he asked.  
  
Jack nodded slightly. ‘Okay, I’ll go over …’ he said heading off.  
  
 Ianto watched as Jack ducked under the long hanging braches of the willow tree - well it looked like a willow tree to him it was unlikely to be given that they were on a different planet. He watched Jack settle down on the grass in front of a small gravestone and the sight  made Ianto's heart contract violently in his chest. Ianto paced back and forth trying to gather himself; he didn’t know what to think or how to feel at that moment - part of him wanted to just bottle it and run, the other part needed to see the grave.  
  
Jack stroked his hand over the worn stone of the grave. ‘Hello gorgeous.’ he smiled swallowing back his tears. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been to visit, but I’m here now and I’ve brought him, I bought Ianto, your dad, just like I promised I would.’ he mumbled. ‘I told you one day I’d bring him here didn’t I? He’ll be over in a bit.’ Jack whispered, he was fully aware he was just talking to a piece of stone – that his daughter was dead and gone but it helped all the same. ‘He loves you just as much as I do, as I always will. I just wish he could have seen you, how perfect you were my gorgeous girl.’  
  
Jack looked up when he felt Ianto’s presence behind him; Ianto knelt down in front of the gravestone he could read Freya’s name carved into the stone but the rest was not in English or any language he recognised. ‘What does it say?’ he asked, his voice hoarse.  
  
‘It’s in my native tongue.’ Jack replied quickly wiping away his tears. ‘It’s says  _“no matter how we spend our lives, no matter what we do, there's always a longing in our hearts, for yesterday and you”_   he told him. Tears rolled down Ianto’s cheek; Jack wrapped his arms around him and cuddled him close. ‘I wanted it in Welsh too but I didn’t know the words. I’m sorry.’ he mumbled.  
  
‘It’s okay.’ Ianto whispered. ‘Thank you for the thought though.’ His eyes roamed over the stone. ‘Freya Harkness-Jones?’ he asked. ‘You gave her both our names?’  
  
‘Well she was ours, a part of both of us.’ Jack replied. ‘It seemed right.’  
  
Ianto smiled. ‘I like it." he smiled. 'Freya Harkness-Jones.' he repeated to himself. 'Perfect.'  
  
They sat for a long time, neither spoke much but they both felt rather peaceful in each other’s company. ‘How long have we got left?’ Ianto asked.  
  
Jack glanced at his watch. ‘About half an hour.’ he replied. ‘But we can stay as long as you want, the Doctor will understand.’  
  
Ianto nodded his head slightly. ‘Let’s gather some flowers.’ he said getting up and dusting down his clothes. Jack nodded and got up too; together they walked along the sandy beach picking up the wild flowers that nestled between rocks as they went. Soon they had a large bunch and made their way back to the grave. ‘I’m sorry I never got to meet you Freya.’ Ianto whispered as he laid down the flowers in front of the grave – Jack stood a little way behind allowing Ianto a chance to say goodbye to her by himself. ‘I know I would have loved you at first sight. Keep safe my angel until we are together again.’  
  
Jack headed over and laid his hand on Ianto’s shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry Ianto ...’ he mumbled.  
  
Ianto got up and wrapped his arms around him tightly. ‘It’s okay cariad.’ he whispered reassuringly. ‘It’s okay. Thank you for bringing me here.’  
  
Jack buried his head in Ianto’s shoulder and breathed him in. ‘It’s not though is it? How can you ever forgive me for what I’ve done?’  
  
‘I told you it’s not your fault.’ Ianto whispered, stroking his fingers through his hair and pressing soft kisses to the side of his face.  
  
‘Not telling you was my fault.’ Jack replied. ‘I wish I could go back and change things.’  
  
‘It’s done Jack, you told me eventually. You did what was right in the end.’ Ianto replied. ‘Don’t beat yourself up over it cariad, I don’t want to look back anymore let’s focus on the future. Our future.’  
  
Jack nodded. ‘I don’t deserve you.’  
  
‘No, you really don’t.’ Ianto teased affectionately.  
  
\---

  
Jack and Ianto sat on the beach together just staring out across the sea, watching the waves break across the rocks. Ianto slid his hand through Jack’s. ‘It must have been wonderful growing up here.’ he said gazing down the length of the beach.  
  
Jack turned to him and smiled. ‘It was.’ he nodded. ‘Dad, Grey and I used to play all day long.’ he told him. ‘It was paradise.’ he sighed deeply. ‘Of course that was before the war ...’  
  
Ianto held Jack’s hand tightly - he knew the war had ravaged his home planet and that he’d lost his brother, father, and shortly afterwards his mother too. ‘I’m sorry.’ he whispered stroking the back of his knuckles softly.  
  
Jack shook his head. ‘It was a long time ago.’ he replied. ‘Well it was for me anyway … this place is still recovering.’ he said glancing over at the city in the distance.  
  
Ianto leant his head against Jack’s shoulder. ‘It still hurts doesn’t it?’ he mumbled.  
  
Jack swallowed hard and nodded. ‘That’s why I’m scared of losing you Ianto.’ he whispered. ‘I’ll grieve forever, all of time, just like I do for my family. For our baby.’  
  
‘We’ll never forget Freya Jack I promise.’ Ianto whispered. ‘And if you want me to leave Torchwood then I will. I’ll do anything as long as we can be together.’  
  
‘You don’t want to leave though do you?’ Jack asked.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘No, but I think I need to. With the hours we work, the danger we put ourselves in it’s not practical. At least I know you’ll always survive – won’t stop me worrying about you though.’ he smiled up at him.  
  
Jack smiled back. ‘How about a compromise?’ he suggested. ‘You leave Torchwood completely until she’s old enough to go to nursery then if you still want to you can come back, work just in the day, just at the hub – no field duty.’  
  
Ianto laughed. ‘You? Compromising? This is a first!’  
  
‘What do you think?’ Jack asked anxiously.  
  
Ianto nodded. ‘I think it’s a good idea.’ he replied.  
  
‘HOWDY!’  
  
Ianto and Jack looked up to see the Doctor heading down the beach toward them. ‘Where did you find a stetson in the 51st century?’ Jack asked gazing up at him.  
  
The Doctor grinned. ‘Found it. Stetsons are cool.’ he said tipping the cap over his eyes.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes. ‘What is it with this new regeneration and strange taste for fashion accessories?’ he asked.  
  
‘Has he asked you to move in with him yet?’ The Doctor asked nodding toward Ianto.  
  
‘Doc!’ Jack cried glancing at Ianto apologetically. ‘Sorry, he’s not very subtle.’  
  
Ianto blushed heavily. ‘It’s okay.’ he mumbled. Ianto glanced up at the Doctor. ‘No I haven’t, I think it’s best for us to take things a slowly.’  
  
‘Slowly? You do know he’s pregnant don’t you!’ The Doctor laughed.  
  
Jack got up. ‘Shall we head back?’ he replied wanting to get back before the Doctor could embarrass him any further.  
  
‘Onwards and upwards! Where to next?! How about we visit Queen Victoria? No how about Einstein I’d love to meet Einstein! I bet he’s got a few theories I could help him out with.’ The Doctor gabbled enthusiastically.  
  
Jack smiled. ‘Doc ...’ he said taking Ianto by the hand. ‘We’ve got to go home.’  
  
The Doctor’s face fell. ‘Oh ... well of course, yes silly me.’  
  
‘Thank you for bringing us though.’ Ianto smiled gratefully.  
  
‘Are you sure I can’t tempt you, we could go anywhere, any when and still be back before your friends notice you’re gone.’ The Doctor told them. ‘Come on Ianto I bet there is someone you’ve always wanted to meet? A historical event you’ve dreamt of witnessing?’  
  
‘Many.’ Ianto nodded. ‘But maybe we’ll save that for another day.’  
  
The Doctor couldn’t help but feel disappointed. ‘I never thought you’d turn down the chance for an adventure Jack.’ he said glancing up at his comrade.  
  
Jack smiled slightly. ‘Oh I think I’m about to start the biggest adventure of my life.’ he said placing his hands on his stomach.  
  
The Doctor gazed at him. ‘I think you might be right there.’ he smiled. ‘Alright, I can see you’re itching to get back. Come on then.’ he said heading off.  
  
Ianto glanced at Jack as they set off after the Doctor. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to go with him?’ he asked.  
  
‘No, not in this state.’ Jack laughed as he placed his hands on his belly. ‘This trip alone has tired me out. When you’re with the Doctor you tend to do a lot of running and getting yourself into all sorts of trouble. I can’t risk that.’  
  
Ianto chewed his bottom lip anxiously. ‘If you weren’t pregnant ... would you go with him then?’ he asked.  
  
Jack thought about it for a few moments. ‘If I wasn’t pregnant, I might be tempted but I’d want you to come along too.’ he eventually replied. ‘You’d love it Ianto – the things I could show you, the places I could take you.’  
  
‘Does he travel on his own?’ Ianto asked.  
  
‘Not usually.’ Jack replied. ‘Usually he has someone along with him ... usually a pretty girl.’ he grinned.  
  
Ianto laughed. ‘I bet!’  
  
Stepping back into the TARDIS, Ianto held onto a railing and prepared himself for the journey back. Jack, meanwhile, explored the rest of the new TARDIS. ‘You’re not alone are you Doc?’ he asked when he returned.  
  
The Doctor shook his head. ‘Me? Never, loads of friends me! Mr. Popular – how could I not be I’ve got a time machine!’  
  
Jack’s eyebrows rose. ‘Fair enough.’ he smiled. ‘So where are these friends of yours?’  
  
‘I dropped them off before I came to get you two.’ The Doctor told him. ‘Thought I’d give you some privacy.’  
  
Jack nodded. ‘Thank you.’  
  
When they landed The Doctor said his goodbyes before setting off once more; Ianto noticed the look of sadness in Jack’s eyes as the TARDIS started to de-materialise; he took Jack’s hand and stroked his fingers across the back of his knuckles. ‘How long have we been gone?’ he asked glancing up at Jack.  
  
Jack glanced at his watch. ‘Just over 10 minutes.’ he replied. ‘He’s getting sloppy.’ he tutted playfully.  
  
‘Can we go home now?’ Ianto asked.  
  
‘Sure.’ Jack replied with a nod. ‘Let’s get dinner on the way home eh?’  
  
‘Definitely.’ Ianto agreed. ‘I’m starving.’  
  
Jack glanced at him. ‘Time travel can do that to you, not sure why ... body gets confused I guess.’  
  
‘Tell me about it.’ Ianto laughed. ‘One moment we’re sitting on beach in the 51st century and now we’re back here and it’s nearly midnight.’  
  
‘It’s been a long day today that’s for sure.’ Jack sighed as they made their way out of the hub.  
  
\---  
  
Back at the flat, with a box of pizza balance precariously on his knees, Ianto flicked on the TV and flipped through the channels before switching if off again. ‘I can’t settle.’ he said shaking his head. ‘How can we just carry on like normal when we’ve just been to visit our daughter’s grave? How can we just sit and watch TV and eat pizza like nothing is different?’ he said looking down at the slice in his hand. Ianto dropped it in disgust and got up. ‘This isn’t right Jack.’ he exclaimed. Jack got up – he’d been waiting for this, for the realisation to sink in. He watched as Ianto rubbed his eyes as he paced back and forth. ‘I don’t know how to feel Jack. I don’t know what to do or ...’  
  
‘Ianto just stop for a minute.’ Jack said taking him by the elbows. ‘It’s okay.’  
  
‘It’s not though is it?’ Ianto asked. ‘We’re sitting here like nothing’s happened, like we haven’t just been to the future and we haven’t just seen –‘  
  
Jack cuddled Ianto close as he started to sob. ‘You’re in shock, seeing the grave has just brought it all home.’  
  
‘I guess.’ Ianto mumbled into his shoulder. ‘I just feel guilty every time I feel remotely happy.’  
  
‘That’s normal Ianto, I felt it too.’ Jack told him. ‘I still feel it, think I always will but we’ll get through it together.’  
  
Ianto nodded slightly; he buried his head in Jack’s shoulder and held him close. ‘I love you.’ he mumbled into his neck.  
  
‘Love you too.’ Jack whispered.  
  
Ianto kissed him softly. ‘Sleep in my room tonight?’ he asked.  
  
‘Are you sure?’ Jack asked. ‘I thought you didn’t want to rush things between us?’  
  
‘I just want to be close to you tonight.’ Ianto told him. ‘Please?’ he begged.  
  
Jack scooped him up into his arms, despite Ianto's protest that he shouldn't be lifting anything, and carried him through the flat to his bedroom; he laid him down on the bed and kissed him deeply. ‘Everything will be alright in time. I promise.’ he whispered.  
  
‘Just don’t leave me Jack, don’t make me go through this on my own. I don’t think I can cope.’ Ianto begged.  
  
‘I’m not going anywhere.’ Jack said slipping on the bed beside him; he wrapped his arms around him and cuddled him close. They lay quietly listening to the rain hammering down outside and the sound of traffic rushing by.  
  
‘Jack.’ Ianto whispered glancing at him.  
  
‘Mmm ...’ Jack murmured on the cusp of sleep.  
  
‘I didn’t mean what I said about taking things slow, I just don’t like being put on the spot like that – especially by that Doctor of yours.’ Ianto whispered.  
  
Jack’s eyes slid open. ‘Yan, I told you he’s not _my_ Doctor, not like that at least.’  
  
Ianto smiled slyly. ‘I know, now that I've seen the two of you together I can see it's not like that between you. What I'm saying is that I guess I wouldn’t be averse to living with you on a more permanent basis.’  
  
Jack’s eyebrow rose. ‘Is that your way of asking me to move in?’ he asked sitting up and gazing down at him.  
  
Ianto shook his head. ‘No.’ he whispered. ‘It’s my way of asking if you want to start looking for a place together? I don’t want to live in this pokey flat ... especially when our baby is born. I want a proper home ... with you ... if you’ll have me?’  
  
Jack smiled slightly. ‘Hmmm I’ll have to think about that ... not sure I could put up with you.’ he teased.  
  
Ianto pouted. ‘Fine, see if I ask you again.’ he replied rolling over, with his back to him. Jack leant over him and kissed his cheek. ‘You had your chance don’t creep.’ Ianto muttered but Jack knew he was only playing around.  
  
‘So when do you want to start house hunting?’ Jack asked.  
  
Ianto rolled over and gazed up at him. ‘Seriously?’ he asked. Jack just nodded. Ianto wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply, his heart swelling with happiness.


	16. Chapter 16

One morning a few weeks after their trip to Boshane, Ianto woke up to the not so pleasant sound of Jack throwing up in the bathroom down the hall; he slid out bed quickly and rushed to him. ‘Jack?’ he asked finding him crouched on the floor hugging the toilet.

‘Eugh I feel awful.’ Jack mumbled.

Ianto quickly rinsed a cloth under the cold tap and rung it out; he dabbed it over Jack’s sweating forehead. ‘I can’t believe you’re still getting morning sickness.’ he exclaimed. Jack was now sixth months into his pregnancy and the morning sickness was showing no signs of letting up yet. Jack just groaned and nodded again. Ianto managed to coax him up off the floor and sat him down on the edge of the bath. ‘I’ll get you some water.’ he said heading off to the kitchen; when he returned Jack was gargling mouthwash to try and get the burning taste out his mouth. ‘Here.’ Ianto said handing him the glass of water. ‘Why don’t you get out of these clothes eh and I’ll wash them for you.’ he said noticing they were drenched with sweat.

Jack just nodded and let Ianto peel his pyjamas from his body. 'I'm sorry.' he mumbled.

Ianto just shook his head at the apology, there was no need for it. He turned on the shower and coaxed Jack into it before he headed to the kitchen and put the pyjamas in the wash and fetched Jack a fresh pair. ‘Are you okay now?’ he asked popping his head around the shower screen.

Jack nodded. ‘Thanks.’ he mumbled as he scrubbed his hair.

‘Just shout if you need me.’ Ianto told him before heading back to his bedroom. By the time Jack had finished showering Ianto was dressed and just putting fresh sheets on his bed. ‘Do you want breakfast?’ he asked.

‘Eugh no thanks.’ Jack mumbled shaking his head – the mere idea of eating made him feel ill again.

Ianto pressed a kiss to his temple. ‘Make sure you eat something later though.’ he told him. ‘You look awfully pale.’

‘I’ll be alright.’ Jack replied. ‘Where are you going?’ he asked watching Ianto button up his jacket.

‘To the estate agents.’ Ianto replied. ‘I’ve got a meeting with them remember?’

‘Oh yeah.’ Jack sighed flopping down onto Ianto’s bed. ‘Do you have to do that today? Can’t you just stay here with me?’ he asked.

Ianto leant down and pressed a kiss to Jack lips. ‘We want a new place ready for her don’t we?’ he asked stroking his now very large stomach. Jack nodded. ‘Well then we should seriously start looking.’ Ianto replied – so far their attempts hadn't been very extensive as they'd been so busy at the Hub.

'I'll go into town and get you some bigger clothes too.' Ianto said smiling at the fabric that strained over his stomach.

Jack smiled slightly and slid his hands over Ianto’s. ‘Did you ever imagine I'd get this big?" he laughed.

Ianto shook his head. 'Still feels like a dream.' he replied. Ianto straightened up and headed over to the mirror. ‘There are people coming to look at this place so I’d get to the hub if I were you.’ he warned him as he straightened his tie.

Jack groaned, he still felt sick and the thought of moving from the bed wasn't a pleasant one. ‘Yan, no one is going to guess I’m pregnant.’ he protested.

Ianto’s eyebrows rose. ‘Even so, it’s not a risk I’m willing to take; all they’ve got to do is see the baby things we’ve bought and your belly and put the two together.’

‘If they get that far we’ll retcon them or tell them I'm  really a woman.’ Jack replied grumpily; he gazed up at Ianto and could tell by the look Ianto was giving him that he wasn’t going to budge on the matter. ‘Alright alright I’ll go to the hub.’ he sighed sitting up and heaving himself to the edge of the bed.

Ianto smiled and helped him up. ‘Good, right I’d better get going. I’ll see you later then.’

Jack nodded and after one final kiss they parted for the morning. Jack dressed, forced down a couple of slices of toast and some fruit for the baby's sake and then headed for the hub.

‘Harkness.’ Owen barked the second he’d stepped through the door.

‘What?’ Jack moaned.

‘Autopsy bay now, no excuses.’ Owen directed. Jack sighed and made his way down to Owen’s lair. ‘Shirt off.’ Owen instructed. ‘Let’s get a look at you and the sprog.’ he added with a slight smile. Jack slipped off his shirt. ‘Any problems?’ Owen asked as he prepared the scanner.

Jack shook his head not bothering to even mention his back ache, swollen feet or the fact his emotions were all over the place as these were common knowledge now. He didn't mention his increasing irritability or desire to be left alone because again that was pretty obvious. He definitely didn’t mentioned his low sex drive because frankly that was none of Owen's business. ‘I’m fine.’ he mumbled.

‘Let’s see if Junior is okay too shall we?’

Jack nodded. ‘She sure is active at the minute.’

‘Really?’ Owen asked with a slight smile.

Jack nodded flinching slightly as Owen applied cold gel to his stomach. ‘Bouncing around all day and all night too. Giving my bladder a sever bruising." he moaned but he smiled all the same.

‘Are you still having trouble sleeping?’ Owen asked turning the monitor slightly to Jack could see the screen better.

‘Yeah.’ Jack sighed – he constantly felt exhausted.

‘She’s looking very good Jack.’ Owen smiled. ‘She’s a little on the small side but nothing to worry about.’

‘Men tend to have smaller babies.’ Jack told him as he gazed up at the screen. ‘She’s okay though?’ he asked worriedly.

‘Perfectly fine.’ Owen nodded. ‘And you’ve managed to keep your blood pressure down over the past few weeks; something to do with you and Ianto sorting yourselves out I assume?’

Jack nodded – ever since they’d come back from Boshane he and Ianto had been closer than ever. Jack felt far more relaxed now that he was no longer keeping secrets from him and things were so much better now that they were planning to raise their baby together. ‘Does that mean I can take this off?’ he asked jangling the cuff Owen had put on him.

‘I’d rather you didn’t.’ Owen replied. ‘Best be on the safe side eh?

‘I guess.’ Jack mumbled sitting up and buttoning up his shirt that now strained over his baby bump. Ianto was right about the need for new clothes.

Owen handed him the scan he’d printed out. ‘So we need to start discussing what we’re going to do when it actually comes to delivering her.’ he said to Jack.

‘Yeah I know.’ Jack sighed. ‘We’ve only got a few months left and Ianto and I are nowhere near prepared yet.’

‘Scared?’ Owen asked with a sly smile.

‘Bloody terrified.’ Jack confessed.

‘I can perform the caesarean Jack but I can’t do it alone.’ Owen told him. ‘We need to get a room prepared – this isn’t exactly suitable.’ he said glancing around the autopsy bay.

Jack chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. ‘No and I’ve been thinking about that for a while. Owen I trust you, but I was thinking maybe I should see someone that’s more of an expert in this sort of thing?’

Owen sat down. ‘Oh ...’ he replied a little disappointed. He was oddly quite looking forward to delivering his boss and the teaboy's baby.

Jack felt a little awkward. ‘Sorry Owen, but -’

‘No no it’s fine, I completely understand.’ Owen said quickly. ‘You want what’s best and like you said I’m not an expert. So where will you go? Not down to our local maternity ward I’m guessing?'

‘No.’ Jack smiled shaking his head. ‘To the hospital I went to last time - in the 51st century - male pregnancies are the norm there.’

Owen nodded. ‘Well I think that’s best.’ he agreed. ‘I’ll get all your notes together so you can take them with you.’

‘Thanks.’ Jack smiled gratefully; he twisted his fingers together. ‘I haven’t discussed it with Ianto yet.’ he told him. ‘He’s not exactly keen on the whole space/time travel thing but I hope that doesn’t put him off.’

Owen’s eyebrows rose and he wondered just how many times Ianto had left Earth with Jack. ‘How will you get there? Your vortex manipulator is broken isn’t it?’ he asked.

Jack fingered his wrist strap fondly. ‘Yes unfortunately it is, but I have a friend who can take us.’ he told him.

‘When will you go?’ Owen asked gazing at him.

‘Not until I need to.’ Jack replied. ‘I don’t want to be there any longer than necessary, that place doesn’t exactly hold happy memories for me.’

‘You could go somewhere else?’ Owen suggested.

Jack sighed and shook his head. ‘No, they were good. They did their best and they looked after me, what happened wasn’t their fault.’

‘Well if you want me there I’d be happy to come with you.’ Owen offered.

Jack smiled up at him. ‘I’d really like that.’ he nodded. ‘Thank you.’

\---

Ianto entered the hub later that morning soaked through from the rain but otherwise in high spirits. ‘Morning.’ he smiled setting down a box of doughnuts. ‘Anyone hungry?’

‘You bet.’ Owen grinned delving into the box.

‘Have I told you how much I love you?’ Jack said grabbing a doughnut and biting into it quickly before Owen or Ianto could protest.

Ianto just blushed slightly.

‘Aw he’s gone all shy.’ Owen teased elbowing him playfully.

Tosh laughed, but Gwen just scowled from her desk. ‘Don’t you want one Gwen?’ Tosh asked.

‘Not thanks.’ Gwen muttered.

Ianto rolled his eyes – they’d not really spoken to each other since they’d argued a few weeks back. It was the day after Ianto and Jack had been to Boshane; they’d gone to the hub to work but both were still rather emotional. Gwen had been in a terrible mood and seeing Jack and Ianto together seemed to enraged her further. She’d shouted at Ianto asking him why he was so miserable when he had Jack and a baby on the way. She’d caught Ianto at a very bad time and he’d shouted her telling her that the reason he was upset was that he’d just been to visit his baby’s grave. Tosh and Owen had overhead and although Tosh knew Freya had been Ianto’s she was still a little stunned Ianto had blurted it out this way. Ianto at that point had burst into tears and ran off angry he’d let Gwen get to him. Ever since the two had barely spoken to each other.

‘Check out what I bought.’ Ianto said changing the subject, he delved into a carrier bag and pulled out a couple of soft white baby grows each with a different farmyard animals stitched onto it.

‘Oh Ianto they’re so cute!’ Tosh grinned taking one and feeling the soft fabric.

Jack smiled as he stroked his thumb over the stitching. ‘You know I think we’ve got enough to clothe ten babies now?’ he said but smiled all the same.

Ianto placed the clothes back in the bag. ‘I just couldn’t resist.’ he replied. ‘Anyway these won’t fit her just yet.’ he replied. ‘Oh and I got these.’ he said opening another bag and pulling out a tiny pair of pink shoes. ‘Aren’t they sweet?'

Jack took the shoes. ‘They’re just so small.’ he smiled in amazement.

'Don't worry I didn't forget about you.' Ianto said handing Jack a carrier bag full of new shirts and trousers.

'Thanks Yan.' Jack said pressing a kiss to his lips.

'So what else did you get?' Tosh asked, she loved looking at all the baby things her team mates bought.

‘Come on we’ve got to get going – you know actually do some work?’ Gwen snapped as she got up and pulled on her coat.

‘In a minute.’ Owen replied as he examined the baby shoes Jack had handed to him fascination. ‘Can’t believe in a few weeks there will be a little person to actually wear these.’ he exclaimed.

‘Me either.’ Ianto said shaking his head, his heart began to race with excitement at the thought. Jack wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

‘I’ll wait in the SUV.’ Gwen said marching out of the hub – she was sick of everyone going on about this damn baby.

Ianto glanced at Jack. ‘What are we going to do Jack?’ he asked. ‘She hates me.’

Jack cuddled him close. ‘Don’t you dare think about apologising to her.’ he told him.

‘Too bloody right.’ Owen chipped in. ‘You were grieving your child and she was an insensitive cow.’

‘She didn’t know that though did she?’ Ianto replied fairly.

‘Still don’t think it’s you that should be doing the apologising.’ Owen replied.

Tosh nudged Owen. ‘Come on, we’d best get going before we upset her even more.’

Owen nodded. ‘Yeah alright.’ he said picking up his mug and draining the last of his coffee. ‘See you in a bit.’ he said to Jack and Ianto as he and Tosh left the hub.

‘Are you feeling better?’ Ianto asked turning to Jack.

‘Much.’ Jack nodded. ‘Sorry about this morning I bet that wasn’t nice to wake up to.’

 ‘You look exhausted.’ Ianto said stroking the dark circles under his eyes.

‘She kept me up most of last night.’ Jack replied wearily.

‘Why don’t you try and get some rest?’ Ianto suggested. ‘They won’t be back for a good couple of hours.’

‘Maybe ...’ Jack shrugged.

‘Come on.’ Ianto said taking him by the hand and leading him through the hub – Jack usually protested but today he was more than willing which Ianto knew must mean he was completely worn out.

‘How did it go this morning?’ Jack asked Ianto as he laid back on the bed.

Ianto covered Jack with a blanket and then sat down beside him. ‘Good.’ he nodded. ‘They’ve given me a few properties to look though.’ he smiled.

‘Lemme see.’ Jack replied eagerly.

Ianto shook his head. ‘You should sleep, we can look through them later.’

‘No I want to look now.’ Jack pouted.

Ianto laughed. ‘You’re so stubborn!’

Jack pulled Ianto down next to him and kissed him deeply. ‘Show me, you were the one who said we need to get sorted, this baby isn’t going to wait you know?’

‘Alright,’ Ianto smiled, ‘but you’ve got to let go of me first.’

Jack pouted once more but did let go of him; Ianto climbed back up into the hub grabbed the paperwork the estate agents had given to him and then climbed back down again. Jack cuddled close to Ianto as he slipped back onto the bed beside him and waited patiently whilst he sorted through the paperwork. ‘Right so what about this one?’ he said handing the first property details to Jack. ‘It’s about five miles away from here, two bedrooms and a garage.’ he told him.

Jack studied the pictures and then skim read the profile. ‘It’s nice, but there’s virtually no garden and it’s on a main road.’

‘Hmm I wasn’t so sure either ...’ Ianto replied. ‘So shall we say that’s a no then?’

‘Definitely.’ Jack confirmed as he tossed the paperwork onto the floor. ‘Okay next.’

Ianto tutted as he watched the paperwork flutter to the ground. ‘Messy sod.’ he teased. ‘Okay well I like this one.’ he said handing him the next sheet. ‘Three bedrooms and a large garden.’

Jack glanced at it. ‘It’s nice ... really nice but it’s too far away.’ he replied.

‘How far?’ Ianto asked peering over at the paperwork.

‘A good forty minutes from here.’ Jack replied with a small shake of his head.

Ianto sighed with disappointment but knew it was far from suitable to be that far from the hub. ‘Okay that’s a no then. What about this one?’ he said handing Jack another sheet just as he’d tossed that one on the floor.

‘This is a flat.’ Jack replied.

‘I know but it’s a lot bigger than the one we’ve got now.’ Ianto reasoned.

‘Mmm ... but I’m not keen on living in a flat anymore, I thought you wanted a proper home?’ Jack asked Ianto.

‘I do.’ Ianto sighed. ‘Alright that one’s a no then; well there is this one.’ he said handing Jack another piece of paper. ‘I’m not so keen; it’s only two bedrooms but they’re both small.’

Jack glanced at it fleetingly. ‘I don’t like it.’ he said scrunching up his nose as he tossed it onto the floor along with the other rejected properties. ‘This is hopeless.’ he sighed.

Ianto slid his arms around him. ‘Don’t worry Jack we’ll find somewhere.’

Jack rubbed Ianto’s arms. ‘I just want it to be perfect Ianto but we haven’t got a lot of time.’

‘We can always move out after the baby is born, it’s not the end of the world.’ Ianto replied as he sorted through the paperwork although he knew that he and Jack both wanted to be settled in their new home first. ‘Oh there’s one more.’ he said skimming through the profile. ‘Four bedrooms ... a little on the big side but that’s not a problem and we can easily afford it. What do you think?’ he asked. ‘Jack?’ he frowned peering down at him but Jack was fast asleep. Ianto just smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. ‘Alright we’ll discuss it later.’ he smiled fondly. Ianto tried to slide out from underneath him but Jack moaned into his sleep. ‘Alright cariad, I’m not going anywhere.’ he whispered – Jack barely slept at the moment and he wasn’t about to disturb him now.

Jack eventually rolled over allowing Ianto to escape from underneath him. Ianto set about cleaning Jack’s bunker whilst keeping an eye on him. Jack slept for just over an hour but was woken by the sound of Gwen and Owen arguing in hub above. ‘Go and tell them to shut up.’ he moaned as he buried his face in his pillow.

Ianto laughed. ‘They’re hardly going to listen to me are they?’

Jack yawned and stretched out his arms. ‘Oh I forgot.’ he said delving into his pocket. ‘Here, Owen checked me over this morning.’ he said handing him the scan.

Ianto took it and grinned. ‘Wow.’ he breathed sitting down on the edge of the bed. ‘I’ll never tire of this.’

‘She’s bigger isn’t she?’ Jack said resting his head on Ianto’s shoulder and gazing down at the picture.

‘I think so.’ Ianto nodded stroking the picture fondly. ‘Jack I can’t believe in three months she’ll be here!’

‘Scary isn’t it?’ Jack replied.

Ianto nodded. ‘Very!’ he laughed. He glanced over his shoulder at Jack. ‘I hope we find the perfect house soon; at the moment my place ... well it still feels like my place, it will be nice to finally have  _our_ place.’

Jack nodded. ‘We haven’t got long though.’

Ianto smiled. ‘Until then how about you move into my bedroom properly?’ he asked – up until this point they’d kept to their separate rooms except when they’d spent the night together which wasn’t very frequent as Jack’s sex drive had severely diminished with his advancing pregnancy. Ianto wasn’t too worried by this because it had been replaced with a needier, more cuddlesome Jack which he loved.

‘You know I want to but at the minute I’m up half the night, I’ll keep you awake and that’s not fair on you.’ Jack replied.

‘I don’t care, she’s both of ours so it’s only fair I should suffer a little bit too.’ Ianto protested. ‘Anyway in a few months she’ll be keeping us up half the night.’ he reminded him.

Jack laughed. ‘I guess you’re right.’ he conceded.

‘We want to be together don’t we?’ Ianto asked.

‘Of course.’ Jack nodded.

‘Well then let’s be together properly.’ Ianto implored.

‘Alright well we’ll see how it goes eh?’ Jack replied compromising. ‘There is no point us both being exhausted so if I keep you awake I’ll have to go back to the spare room okay?’

Ianto nodded. ‘All right,’ he grinned, ‘but it will be fine I know it will.’ he added positively. Ianto glanced around the bunker. ‘How about we pack up your things and take them back to mine later?’ he suggested.

Jack’s eyebrows rose. ‘Are you sure you want all my junk clogging up your flat?’

‘Jack!’ Ianto laughed. ‘Have you listened to a word I’ve said?!’

‘Yeah.’ Jack nodded. ‘I just want you to be sure.’

‘I am.’ Ianto replied positively. ‘You, me and our baby that’s all I want. All I've ever wanted.’

‘Me too.’ Jack smiled. ‘I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realise that.’

Ianto kissed him softly. ‘You did in the end Jack, that’s all that matters.’

 


	17. Chapter 17

Jack was sitting at his desk gazing out of the glass windows of his office at his team who were preparing to head out on a mission; they’d just received reports of weevils on the surface which had to be captured and detained before any civilisations were hurt. Jack gazed down at his paperwork and sighed, he missed the chase and the thrill of the hunt, and was itching to go with them but knew couldn’t not that they’d never let him. He was now thirty weeks pregnant, very grumpy and the sickness still hadn’t given him a break yet. Jack sighed as he flicked through the stack of paperwork idly for a few moments before he pushed it away sick of the sight of it.

 

Jack looked up when his office door opened and Ianto entered the office. ‘We’re just going.’ he told him. ‘Shall we drop you off at home on our way?’ he asked as he buttoned up his coat.

 

‘No it’s alright, I’ve got loads to be getting on with.’ Jack sighed wearily.

 

‘Well don’t over-do it.’ Ianto replied pressing a soft a kiss to his neck as he massaged his tense shoulders.

 

Jack closed his eyes and stretched his neck to one side. ‘Feels good.’ he sighed happily as Ianto’s strong fingers worked his aching muscles.

 

‘Your very tense.’ Ianto commented.

 

Jack gazed up at him. ‘Can’t you just stay here and keep doing that?’ he asked.

 

Ianto pressed a quick kiss to his lips. ‘I’m afraid not, but maybe we can pick things up at home later?’ he suggested.

 

 

‘Promises promises.’ Jack grinned up at him.

 

‘I’ll see you later then.’ Ianto said slipping on his black leather gloves; he turned to leave but Jack grabbed him by the arm stopping him. ‘What is it cariad?’ Ianto asked gazing at him. Jack’s hand slid down Ianto’s arm and his fingers tangled through his. ‘Just be careful.’ he warned.

 

Ianto smiled and kissed him reassuringly. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’

 

When the team had departed, Jack headed over to Tosh’s desk and put the CCTV feed up on one of her screens and at the same time pushed a set of comms into his ear; he sat down and watched as his team climbed into the SUV and set off praying they’d all come back unharmed. Jack hated being stuck at the hub – his team were his responsibility and he should be out there with them keeping them all safe, but at the same time he had to protect his unborn child too. Jack knew he wouldn’t settle until Ianto had returned and the baby seemed to feel his anxiety too. Jack rubbed his belly. ‘It’s okay he will be back soon.’ he murmured knowing that he was really just reassuring himself.

 

\---

 

Ianto was sure Owen had paired him up with Gwen on purpose and resented him for it; they’d been out alone together for hour and so far Gwen hadn’t said one word to him. At first Ianto pretended not to care but now it was really getting to him. ‘I think we should go this way.’ Ianto said pointing down a dark alleyway – weevils didn’t like the bright city lights and tended to stick to the darker side streets.

 

Gwen glanced at him. ‘Fine.’ she muttered heading off, walking very quickly with a can of weevil spray at her side.

 

Ianto had to run to catch up with her. ‘How long are you going to give me the cold shoulder for?’ he asked but Gwen just ignored him. ‘I’m getting sick this.’ he continued not ready to give up.

 

‘Yeah well I’m getting sick of you.’ Gwen muttered as she scouted the alley.

 

Ianto stopped in his tracks surprised to hear such resentment in her voice. ‘What have I done Gwen?’ he asked. ‘Please just tell me because I really don’t understand, is it Jack? Do you still want him?’

 

Gwen crossed her arms. ‘No.’

 

Ianto didn’t believe her for a second, she’d made it quite clear that she wanted him and the baby out of the way so she could have Jack to herself. ‘You've been like this ever since we found out Jack was pregnant.'

 

 ‘Just drop it.’ Gwen growled at him.

 

‘Gwen tell me.’ Ianto urged. ‘I want to work this out, I can’t stand the silent treatment anymore!’ he exclaimed. Gwen didn’t say anything, she just turned on her heel and marched off once more. ‘Gwen!’ Ianto shouted running after her; he grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her toward him. ‘We’re sorting this out now.’

 

‘We’ve got a job to do.’ Gwen snapped as she snatched her arm away.

 

Ianto sighed. ‘Well we're not having much luck finding the weevil are we, it could be anywhere. Let’s go back to the SUV and see if Tosh and Owen had any luck.’

 

Gwen shrugged. ‘If you want.’

 

Ianto followed her. ‘This isn't a game Gwen, I love Jack.’ he told her.

 

‘Good for you.’ Gwen replied shortly.

 

Ianto boiled with rage, it must be jealously - what else could it be? ‘He doesn’t want you, just deal with it. We’re having a baby Gwen isn’t it about time you gave up now?’

 

Gwen stopped. ‘Oh you’re having a baby I didn’t realise!’ she cried sarcastically. ‘Because you haven’t been rubbing it in my face at all have you?’

 

Ianto frowned. ‘Gwen I don’t understand ..." What did she mean by that?

 

‘I can’t have kids okay!’ Gwen snapped, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘There I’ve said it, now you know.’

 

Ianto stared at her. ‘You can’t have children?’ he asked a little taken aback by the confession.

 

Gwen glanced down at her boots. ‘That’s right, and I’m sick of you and Jack rubbing salt into the wounds.’

 

‘We didn’t know.’ Ianto protested. Gwen turned and walked away briskly. Ianto again ran to catch up with her. ‘Talk to me Gwen.’ he begged. ‘What happened?’ he asked wanting to understand.

 

‘I just want to forget about it.’ Gwen hissed.

 

‘You’re angry, you’re upset, it’s not healthy to keep all those emotions bottled up.’ Ianto reasoned. ‘Just talk to me.’

 

‘Why would I want to talk to you?’ Gwen spat. ‘You’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted.’

 

Ianto chewed his bottom lip. ‘I’m sorry if you think I was rubbing it in but it wasn’t intentional I swear.’

 

Gwen rubbed her tears away with the sleeve of her jacket. ‘Rhys and I broke up just before we found out Jack was pregnant.’ she told him.

 

Ianto’s eyes widened. ‘I had no idea.’ he breathed. ‘I’m sorry Gwen.’

 

Gwen shook her head. ‘It’s my fault, I drove him away. I told him it was his fault. I blamed him for everything.’

 

‘For what?’ Ianto asked.

 

Gwen hesitated at first. ‘I had a miscarriage.’ she eventually replied. ‘Remember when that blowfish stabbed me last summer?’ she asked. Ianto just nodded remembering it well – Gwen had been off for weeks whilst she recovered and it was then Jack had started training him up for field duty. ‘Well that’s when I lost the baby ... and now I can’t have kids at all.’

 

‘Gwen I ...’ Ianto started to say.

 

‘Don’t.’ Gwen said shaking her head. ‘Just don’t.’ she repeated, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘I don’t need your sympathy.’

 

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ Ianto asked. ‘If we had known you were pregnant we would have had you on desk duty.’

 

‘Don’t you wish I had said something?’ Gwen replied. ‘Look back I wish I did but I didn’t because ...’ she gazed down at her feet as guilt flooded her body. ‘I didn’t because at the time I wasn’t sure I was going to keep it.’ she confessed.

 

‘Did Rhys know you were pregnant?’ Ianto asked.

 

‘Not until after I’d lost it.’ Gwen told him. ‘He tried to help my through it but I was just horrible to him, I blamed him even though it was my own fault. I drove him away in the end and he left me. When I came back to work I threw myself at Jack ... I just wanted to forget about everything but he rejected me. I tried to carry on like nothing had happened but then a few days later we found out he was pregnant with your baby.’

 

Ianto cast his eyes down, on one level he was angry at Gwen but on another he felt incredibly sorry for her.

 

‘I don’t know why I got so angry with you.’ Gwen said shaking her head. ‘I tried to drive a wedge between you and Jack; I wanted you and the baby gone ... not just because I wanted him but because I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you two so happy like Rhys and I should have been.’

 

‘I just wish you’d said something.’ Ianto replied with a sad sigh.

 

Gwen wiped her tears away. ‘I’m sorry Ianto, I’ve been so horrible but seeing Jack get bigger and you two so happy just made me think of what I can never have.’

 

Ianto wrapped his arms around Gwen and hugged her tightly, all of his anger toward her draining away. ‘Have you seen Rhys since?’ he asked as he held her close.

 

Gwen shook her head and sobbed into his arms. ‘I love him so much Ianto, I really do. I don’t want Jack, that was just a silly crush and I know he’ll never love me because you’re the only one he’s ever wanted. I know now that what I feel for Rhys is real, I shouldn’t have taken it for granted.

 

‘You need to talk to him.’ Ianto encouraged. ‘It’s worth a shot isn’t it?’ he asked drawing back and looking her in the eye.

 

‘Why would he want me anymore?’ Gwen asked. ‘What have I got to offer him? I’m just a bitter barren old witch.’ she said tears streaking down her face.

 

‘He loves you Gwen.’ Ianto told her. ‘Don’t throw that away so easily.’

 

Gwen nodded and buried her head in Ianto’s shoulder. ‘I’m scared to see him, what if he’s with someone else? I hate feeling all this resentment and jealousy toward you and Jack, I don’t think I could stand it if he’s with another woman.’

 

‘You might have to take that chance if you really want him back.’ Ianto told her. ‘It might not be easy but if you love him you should fight for him.’

 

‘I tried to be happy for you.’ Gwen mumbled drawing back and wiping her eyes. ‘I told Jack I’d support you both if having this baby was what you wanted.’ she said remembering back to what she’d told him in his office a few weeks back. ‘But it was just fake, I wanted to believe in what I was saying and I tried to but I just couldn’t.’

 

‘It’s okay Gwen.’ Ianto encouraged.

 

‘No it’s not.’ Gwen argued. ‘I tried to split you two up, keep you apart just so you felt as miserable as I did and that’s not fair on either of you or your baby. How can you ever forgive me?’

 

‘I understand what you’re going through Gwen, believe me I do. Jack and I both lost a child too remember?’

 

Gwen wiped her eyes. ‘Oh God Ianto how could I have been so cruel! I knew exactly what you were going through and I was so cold. I was actually pleased that your life wasn’t as perfect as it seemed – am I completely heartless?’ she asked.

 

‘No you’ve just been through too much.’ Ianto told her. ‘And all alone too.’

 

‘No wonder Jack loves you, you’re too good Ianto. You should hate me.’ Gwen told him. ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you did.’

 

Ianto was about to reply when suddenly a weevil lunged for them. ‘Move!’ Ianto cried shoving Gwen out of the way of the weevil. Gwen feel to the ground as Ianto dived on top of the weevil and wrestled it to the floor; Gwen scrambled up and grabbed the can of weevil spray which had fallen out of her hand. Ianto pulled the weevil up and wrapped his arm around it’s throat. ‘Quickly!’ he cried. ‘I can’t hold it much longer!’ he exclaimed as the weevil thrashed wildly.

 

Gwen quickly sprayed the creature which soon fell to the floor unconscious. ‘Where the hell did that come from?!’ she cried as she tried to catch her breath.

 

Ianto dusted down his clothes. ‘We were too sorting out our differences to notice it sneak up on us.’ he told her.

 

‘I guess.’

 

‘We’re lucky we both weren’t seriously hurt.’ Ianto told her shuddering at the thought of not seeing Jack again or ever seeing their child. Gwen nodded and stared down at the creature completely stunned ‘Let’s get this into the SUV.’ Ianto said pulling a hood over the weevils head. ‘We just need to make sure no one sees us.’ Ianto said as he hauled the weevil over his shoulder.

 

‘Okay.’ Gwen nodded and together they set off through the dark, dirty alleyways toward the SUV.

 

Eventually they reached the SUV but Tosh and Owen hadn’t arrived back yet; Gwen pulled open the back doors. ‘Don’t mention this to Jack.’ Ianto told her as loaded the weevil into the SUV. ‘He’ll never let me out again.’

 

Gwen smiled slightly. ‘No problem.’ she replied. ‘Now I say we contact the others and then head home.’

 

‘Best suggestion I’ve heard all night.’ Ianto grinned back at her.

 

\---

 

Jack leapt up and dashed out of his office when he heard the hub door roll open. ‘Are you all okay?’ he asked his eyes roaming over each member of his team as they entered. ‘Did anyone get hurt?’

 

‘We’re fine Jack.’ Owen told him as he and Tosh carried the unconscious weevil through the hub and down to the cells where it would sleep off the sedative.

 

‘Ianto you’re bleeding!’ Jack cried rushing over to him.

 

‘It’s just a scratch.’ Ianto replied glancing at his blood stain on the sleeve of his shirt – when he’d wrestled the weevil to the floor one of its claws had caught his arm as it thrashed wildly.

 

Jack grabbed his arm and tugged up the sleeve. ‘It looks like more than a scratch to me.’ he muttered wincing the two large cuts on his arm. ‘Come on let’s get you cleaned up.’ he said taking his hand and leading him down to the autopsy bay.

 

‘Jack honestly I’m fine.’ Ianto protested as Jack sat him down and began gently cleaning his wound. ‘I’m okay cariad.’ he repeated, stroking his hand through Jack’s hair when he noticed his fingers shook as he tended to the wound. ‘Owen said it doesn’t even need stitches.’

 

Jack finished tying the bandage he’d wrapped around Ianto’s arm and secured it in place with a neat knot. ‘It could have been a lot worse, you could have been really hurt.’ he told him unable to hide the worry in his voice.

 

‘I wasn’t.’ Ianto whispered cupping his face and kissing him. ‘I’m fine cariad.’

 

Jack kissed him back. ‘Sorry, I just -’

 

‘It’s okay.’ Ianto smiled.

 

‘What if it’s not okay next time?’ Jack asked. ‘What if you’re seriously hurt? What if you die Ianto? How can I raise our baby on my own?’ he asked panic stricken.

 

Ianto wrapped his arms around him and cuddled him tight. ‘Everything is going to be okay Jack I promise.’ he soothed.

 

‘You can’t.’ Jack mumbled into his shoulder.

 

Ianto kissed him deeply, his hands stroking down his arms to finally rest on his stomach. ‘Please don’t change your mind about this.’ he whispered fearfully.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘No I won’t.’ he replied pulling him close; he rested his forehead against his. ‘I don’t know how I could have ever considered not doing this.’

 

Ianto slipped his fingers through Jack’s. ‘You were confused, you thought you were doing what was best for her but us being a part is not the answer.’ he told him.

 

Jack nodded. ‘I know that now.’ he replied.

 

\---

 

‘Are you okay Ianto?’ Tosh asked when he eventually headed up from the autopsy bay.

 

‘I’m good.’ Ianto nodded. ‘It was only a scratch.’ he smiled reassuringly.

 

‘Do you want to come with me to get dinner?’ Tosh asked. ‘We thought we’d have pizza.’

 

‘Sure.’ Ianto nodded; he glanced at Jack. ‘What do you want? Usual?’ he asked.

 

Jack’s eyebrows rose. ‘Are you going to let me have pizza?’ he asked dubiously; for the past few weeks Ianto had been on a serious health kick and Jack had been banned from eating practically everything he loved and craved.

 

Ianto smiled. ‘I think we all deserve a treat tonight, it’s been a long day.’

 

Jack thought for a few minutes, trying to decide what he wanted because he knew he wouldn’t have this opportunity again for a while. ‘I’ll have pepperoni.’ he eventually decided.

 

‘Alright.’ Ianto said pulling on his coat. ‘Owen? Meat feast?’ he asked knowing this was what the medic usually ordered; Owen just nodded his head not even looking up from the test results he was studying. ‘Gwen?’ Ianto asked.

 

‘Actually if it’s okay I might go.’ Gwen replied. ‘I’ve arranged to meet Rhys.’ she added glancing at Ianto meaningfully.

 

‘I’m sure it’s okay for you to go right Jack?’ Ianto asked hoping he wouldn’t make her stay – the fact she had called Rhys and he’d agreed to meet her was a very positive step forward.

 

‘Fine.’ Jack said nodding his head completely unaware of just how important Gwen and Rhys meeting up was.

 

Gwen sighed with relief, slid on her leather jacket and pulled on her bag. ‘We won’t be long.’ Ianto said as he and Tosh made their way out of the hub with her.

 

‘Oh Ianto can I have olives on my pizza too? Jack called after him.

 

Ianto stopped and turned back to him. ‘Olives?’ he asked.

 

‘Yeah.’ Jack nodded eagerly.

 

Ianto’s eyebrows rose. ‘You’re cravings sure are strange.’ he laughed.

 

As they headed down the tunnel that led out of the hub Ianto glanced at Gwen and noticed how worried she look. ‘Good luck.’ he whispered smiling reassuringly.

 

Gwen chewed her bottom lip. ‘I’m going to need it.’ she mumbled.

 

‘Just be honest with him.’ Ianto replied. ‘Tell him how you feel.’

 

Gwen just nodded and when they exited the hub via the tourist office entrance she headed in a different direction to Tosh and Ianto. Ianto watched her go hoping that she and Rhys could sort out their differences, it would not only make her happy but it would also make his life a little easier too. Tosh glanced at Ianto. ‘So did Owen’s plan work then? Have you two made up?’ she asked.

 

Ianto smiled slightly. ‘We both understand each other now.’ he told her. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to completely forget how she tried to mess with me and Jack but hopefully we can move forward now.’

 

\---

 

Owen glanced over at Jack and watched him for a few moments; he was sat with his hand on his stomach and every now and again a look of anguish would cross his features. ‘Jack?’ Owen asked getting up and heading over to his office. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

 

Jack glanced up at him and shook his head. ‘M’fine.’ he mumbled.

 

‘Sure?’ Owen asked dubiously.

 

Jack nodded. ‘Fine Owen.’ he growled irritably. ‘She’s just kicking really badly.’

 

Owen hovered for a few moments. ‘Well I’m just in here if you need me.’ he said before heading back to his desk. Owen sat down and glanced at the readings that he received from the cuff around Jack’s wrist, his blood pressure was a little elevated but nothing to be alarmed by and all of his other vital signs were good.

 

Jack, meanwhile, tried to concentrate on looking through the details of the three houses he and Ianto had booked to see that weekend; they were both rather worried what their cover story was going to be since Jack was quite obviously pregnant. Ianto had brought home a wheelchair that Owen had “acquired” from their local hospital and told Jack if he sat in it with enough blankets over him they might just get away with it but Jack had stubbornly refused to even try it out – they’d just have to retcon anyone who cottoned on he decided.

 

Jack sat back in his chair and rubbed his aching shoulders; he was hoping at after their dinner they could just go home – he was exhausted and his whole body ached but he knew it was unlikely as the rest of the team were rather busy and usually when they bought pizza it meant they were in for an all nighter. Jack knew nobody would mind if he went home but somehow he felt like he was letting them all down if he did.

 

Jack pushed away his paperwork – he was bored with that and now very hungry; perhaps while Ianto was out he could snaffle a few biscuits without Owen spotting him. Jack decided it was worth the risk and so went in search of the kitchen; opening the cupboard Jack spotted the biscuit tin and reached up to get it, grabbing it he pulled off the lid and peered inside but only found only a few rich tea biscuits which he really had gone off at the moment. Sighing with disappointment, he pushed the lid back on and reached up to place it back on the shelf; just as he stretched Jack felt a flash of pain rip through his body.

 

Panting heavily, Jack leant against the kitchen cupboard and tried to calm himself down but he was panicking so much it was impossible. Jack knew he had to call for Owen but his breathing was so rapid and he was in so much pain he could barely speak let alone shout out. ‘Please no, please.’ he mumbled under his breath. ‘Please not now.’ he cried tears spilling down his cheeks. It was too soon. Far too soon.

 

Jack fell to his hands and knees as another wave of pain tore through him; he was under no illusions as to what he was feeling as he’d been through it once before - he was in labour. Fear swept through Jack’s body, he knew it was happening too early since he was only thirty weeks pregnant. Jack knew the only hope he had was to get to the hospital before it was too late; he pulled himself up off the floor and leant against the counter panting heavily. Swallowing hard, Jack summoned up as much strength as he could to call out the only name on his mind, not Owen’s, not the Doctors, but Ianto’s.


	18. Chapter 18

Owen glanced at his watch wondering where on earth Tosh and Ianto had got to – they’d been gone ages and he was starving. What was taking so long? Jubilee Pizza was only up on the Plass. Owen decided coffee might cure the hunger pains until they returned with the pizza; he got up and wandered over to Jack’s office to offer him one but was surprised not to find him there. Assuming he’d gone to the toilet – which Jack had to do more and more frequently these days – Owen decided he’d make him a cup anyway, Jack never turned down coffee even if it was decaff. Owen whistled tunelessly as he wandered toward the kitchen but stopped in his tracks when he heard Jack calling out Ianto’s name. Owen heard the desperation and panic in his voice and knew instantly something was badly wrong.

 

‘Jack!’ Owen cried as he sped into the kitchen. ‘What the hell happened?’ he asked.

 

‘Owen.’ Jack groaned thankful that someone had come even if it wasn’t Ianto. ‘I think the baby is coming.’

 

‘What?!’ Owen cried in alarm. ‘Shit! Now?’

 

‘Yes NOW!’ Jack snapped squeezing Owen’s hand tightly as another wave of pain swept through his body. ‘Owen we’ve got to hurry.’

 

‘How long do we have?’ Owen asked. ‘Enough time to call that Doctor of yours?’

 

‘I don’t know.’ Jack mumbled.

 

‘Okay okay let’s not panic.’ Owen said grabbing Jack’s phone and searching for the Doctor’s number; meanwhile he coaxed Jack out of the kitchen and sat him down on the sofa. ‘How far apart are the contractions?’ he asked.

 

Jack glared up at him. ‘Why does that matter? It’s not like I can actually give birth that way is it?’

 

‘Sorry!’ Owen cried. ‘I’m not very clued up on male pregnancies am I?’

 

Jack laid his head back on the sofa and groaned in agony. ‘The contractions are a warning.' he mumbled. ‘They’re only a few minutes apart, we haven’t got long.’

 

‘Come on, come on answer the damn phone!’ Owen muttered watching as Jack clutched his hips as another contraction swept through him.

 

‘Owen is he coming?’ Jack asked watching as Owen paced up and down whilst he spoke to the Doctor, but this question was soon answered when the sound of the TARDIS suddenly filled the hub.

 

Owen pulled Jack up off the sofa as the blue box started to appear in the middle of the hub. ‘Bloody hell.’ he mumbled under his breath. ‘That’s his ship? A police box?’

 

‘Ianto ...’ Jack mumbled. ‘I need Ianto, get him here now.’

 

‘It’s too late Jack we’ve got to go.’ Owen said supporting him as they made their way to the TARDIS. Jack was about to protest but pain like he’d never felt before ripped through him and he couldn’t help but scream.

 

The TARDIS door opened and a girl with long ginger hair rushed out. ‘In now.’ she commanded in a strong Scottish accent.

 

Owen dragged Jack into the TARDIS only pausing for a split second when he noticed it was bigger on the inside before his attention turned back to Jack. The Doctor quickly headed to the central console. ‘Right 51st century here we come.’ he said tapping buttons and turning all sorts of dials.

 

Owen laid Jack down on the floor and crouched beside him – Jack was pale, drenched with sweat and he was barely conscious as he writhed with pain. Under his breath he muttered all sorts of words but one prevailed over all others – Ianto.

 

The ginger haired girl knelt down beside them and took Jack’s hands. ‘It’s okay, we’ll be there any minute.’ she told him. Owen glanced at her and noticed her Scottish accent – did that mean she was human?

 

‘We have to hurry.’ Another stranger – a young man with short dark hair - said glancing at the Doctor. ‘I don’t think we have a lot of time.’

 

‘I’m on it.’ The Doctor declared and with one final pull of a leaver they were off.

 

\---

 

‘Amy go and get a nurse.’ The Doctor said to the ginger haired girl as they landed. ‘Rory, Owen, help me with Jack.’ he said.

 

Amy dashed out of the TARDIS and ran down a brilliant white corridor. ‘CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE PLEASE!’ she shouted desperately.

 

A nurse that had been walking down the corridor, turned and headed toward her. ‘What is it?’ she asked.

 

Amy stared at the strange cat-like creature dressed in green robes in awe, but then quickly realised that was the last thing she should be worrying about at that precise moment. ‘There’s a baby on the way.’ she told her. ‘My friend went into a labour a few moments ago.’  
  
Just then the TARDIS door opened and the Doctor, Rory and Owen carried Jack out. The nurse took one look at Jack and then ran to a computer console embedded in the corridor wall and tapped away with her paw. ‘A stretcher is on the way to take him to the paternity ward.’ she said rushing over to Jack and placing her paw over his stomach. ‘How far gone is he?’ she asked gazing up at the group of people surrounding him.

 

‘30 weeks.’ Owen told the nurse. ‘I’m his Doctor.’ he added quickly.

 

The Doctor frowned and glanced at Owen briefly before he realised what he meant. ‘Oh I see doctor as in medical doctor.’ he replied. ‘Not doctor as in “Doctor” there is only one of me.’ he grinned.

 

Owen glared at him. ‘What?’ he snapped wondering what he was babbling on about.

 

‘Nothing.’ The Doctor mumbled sensing this wasn’t quite the right moment.

 

They all glanced around when they saw a group of nurses (all of various alien species) rushing down the corridor with a stretcher; they reached the end and then between them got Jack laid down on it before rushing off again. ‘Where are they taking him?’ Owen asked worriedly.

 

‘Paternity ward.’ The cat-nurse replied. ‘Follow me.’ she said marching off down the corridor. Owen, Rory, Amy and the Doctor quickly followed. ‘30 weeks that’s rather early.’ The nurse said to Owen as they walked. ‘But we’ve seen babies survive earlier.’ she added.

 

Owen glanced at her worriedly. ‘What happens now?’ he asked.

 

‘We’ll deliver the baby then take things from there.’ The nurse replied. ‘This way.’ she directed as they headed down another corridor. Suddenly the nurse slowed and stopped outside a room. ‘Wait here.’ she said glancing at Amy, Rory and Owen.

 

‘I want to see him, I’m his doctor.’ Owen argued. 'His friend.'

 

‘It’s best if you let us take things from here.’ The nurse smiled sweetly; she placed her hand over a panel next to the door which scanned her paw. “Approved” in bright green letters flashed up on the panel and the door clicked open; the nurse let herself in and closed the door quickly behind her.

 

Owen placed his hand over the scanner but the word “Denied” flashed up in red letters. ‘Let me in damn it!’ he shouted banging on the door with his fist.

 

The Doctor laid his hand on Owen’s shoulder. ‘He’s in the best possible hands now.’ he told him.

 

‘Hands?’ Owen snorted. ‘Paws, claws, that’s all I saw. What sort of place is this?’

 

‘Come and sit down.’ The Doctor encouraged.

 

‘No.’ Owen said pacing back and forth. ‘30 weeks, it’s too early.’ he said shaking his head.

 

‘We’re in the 51st century.’ The Doctor told him. ‘There have been huge medical advancements since your time.’ he reasoned. ‘Survival rates are bound to be much higher.’

 

Owen sighed heavily. ‘I told Ianto and Jack I’d do everything I could to make sure this baby was okay and they won’t even let me see him.’

 

The Doctor was about to say something but just then they heard a loud repetitive bleeping sound coming from inside the room – a sound Owen knew all too well – Jack’s heart had stopped. Owen rushed over and slammed his hand on the panel but it refused to grant him access to the room. ‘I need to see him!’ he said turning to the Doctor. ‘Please.’ he begged. ‘Let me help him.’

 

 ‘Doctor let him in.’ Amy told him wondering why he was even hesitating.

 

The Doctor glanced at her and Rory and then nodded; he rushed over to the panel and quickly pulled out his sonic screw driver. Owen watched as he zapped it and wondered what he’d done but when he next placed his hand over it the panel flashed up with the word “Approved” and the door clicked open. Owen dashed in and closed the door behind him. He stopped and glanced around the room it awe - it was pure white from floor to ceiling and full of monitors and equipment. Spotting Jack, Owen rushed over to him and placed his fingers on his neck.

 

‘You shouldn’t be in here.’ One of the nurses, a strange blue bug-like creature, told him.

 

‘I’m not leaving him.’ Owen snapped desperately feeling for a pulse. Owen stepped back failing to find one. ‘He’s dead, you let him die? How could you let him die?!’ he cried.

 

‘He’s immortal, he’ll revive shortly.’ The cat-nurse said matter-of-factly. ‘We couldn’t risk the child dying.’

 

‘How did you know he was immortal?’ Owen asked.

 

‘From his medical files, he’s been here before.’ The nurse replied. ‘Our priority was the baby.’

 

Owen span around – he’d been so worried about Jack he’d forgotten about the baby; he stared in shock at the two nurses on the other side of the room, one was wiring up a piece of machinery to the small baby whilst the other scanned it with some sort of hand-held device. ‘Is she ...?’ he started to ask but couldn’t finish his sentence.

 

‘Alive.’ The cat-nurse nodded. ‘But we had to put her into a growth chamber.’ she told him.

 

‘Growth chamber?’ Owen asked glancing at her. ‘What does that mean?’

 

‘It’s an artificial chamber that will allow her to finish developing just like she was still in the womb.’ The nurse told him. ‘I thought you were a doctor?’ she asked her eyes narrowing.

 

‘21st century doctor.’ Owen told her as he crossed the room and peered into the chamber. ‘What are all these machines?’ he asked.

 

‘This one will assist her with breathing.’ The nurse explained. ‘The others are just monitoring her.’

 

‘Will she survive?’ Owen asked glancing up at her.

 

‘The first 48 hours are critical, if she survives those then the chance of survival is almost certain.’ The nurse explained.

 

Just then Jack’s body lurched off the bed as he revived, he screamed and struggled as he was dragged back into life; unaware of what he was doing or where he was Jack ripped off the wires attached to his body and tried to climb off the bed. The nurses ran over and coaxed him back down on the bed; Jack stared up at the aliens in fear. ‘Where am I?’ he cried. ‘Ianto? Where’s Ianto?’ he asked desperately.

 

Owen rushed over. ‘Jack it’s me Owen.’ he said staring down at him. ‘You’re in hospital, it’s okay you’re safe.’

 

Jack stopped struggling. ‘Hospital?’ he asked; he sat up suddenly and gazed down at his now flat stomach – after dying and reviving his body had reset as if he’d never been pregnant. ‘Where is she? Owen where is my baby?’ he cried desperately.

 

Owen helped the nurses re-attach the wires to Jack’s chest. ‘She’s alive Jack, she made it.’ he smiled. ‘You’ve got a little girl, you’re a dad.’ he grinned.

 

Jack stared up at him unable to believe it. ‘She made it?’ he asked, tears streaking down his face. ‘She’s alive?’

 

Owen smiled and nodded. ‘She is and she’s beautiful Jack.’ he grinned hugging him tightly.

 

\---

 

Amy paced the hospital corridor. ‘What do you think is happening?’ she asked glancing at the Doctor and Rory who were leaning against the wall just staring at the door to the room Owen had disappeared into.

 

The Doctor shook his head. ‘We just have to hope we weren’t too late.’

 

Amy glanced at him anxiously. ‘Is Owen the father?’ she asked having noticed how worried he’d been and how desperate he’d been to see Jack.

 

‘No.’ The Doctor replied shaking his head. ‘The father is called Ianto, he’s a Welshman from your time.’ he explained. ‘He and Owen work for Jack.’

 

‘Where is he then?’ Amy asked. ‘He should be here.’ she insisted.

 

Rory glanced at her. ‘Maybe we should wait until we know what has happened first?’ he suggested.

 

Amy shook her head. ‘No, he should be here it’s his baby too.’

 

‘Rory has a point.’ The Doctor replied.

 

Amy glared at Rory. ‘If it were me you’d want to be here no matter what right?’ she asked.

 

‘Of course.’ Rory nodded quickly.

 

‘Well then Ianto would want to be here no matter what.’ Amy snapped. ‘Let’s go and get him.’

 

‘Alright but let me go.’ The Doctor said. ‘He knows me.’

 

Amy was about to protest but then she considered it might be for the best after all. ‘Alright, go now and don’t be long.’ she told him. The Doctor nodded and set off, heading back toward the TARDIS which they’d just dumped in the middle of the hospital corridor. Amy leant against the wall and her fingers slid through Rory’s. ‘I don’t like this place.’ she mumbled her eyes sweeping up and down the white corridor.

 

Rory nodded. ‘I know what you mean and I’m not sure about those nurses.’ he replied. ‘We’re used to aliens that want to kills us not help us.’

 

Amy shivered; the hospital was eerily quiet and very sterile and aside from nurses their didn’t seem to be any other people there. ‘The Doctor wouldn’t have brought Jack here if there was anything to worry about.’ she replied.

 

Rory nodded. ‘I know.’ he smiled reassuringly.

 

\---

 

Ianto and Tosh wandered down the bay carrying the boxes of pizza between them discussing the houses Ianto and Jack were going to visit that weekend. ‘I just hope we find the perfect place soon.’ Ianto replied. ‘I want to be all moved in and settled before the baby comes.’ he told Tosh.

 

Tosh smiled. ‘How much more have you got to get for her?’ he asked.

 

Ianto laughed. ‘I’ve got a list as long as my arm and I’m sure there are loads of things we’ve not even thought of yet.’

 

‘You’ll be alright, you’ve got plenty of time to get sorted.’ Tosh replied encouragingly.

 

‘Gwen.’ Ianto called spotting her just up ahead of them.

 

Gwen stopped and turned. ‘Oh hi, I was just heading back to the hub.’ she replied heading over to join them.

 

‘How did you get on with Rhys?’ Ianto asked in a low voice as Tosh was with them and she didn’t know she and Rhys had split up.

 

‘It was a little awkward at first.’ Gwen replied quietly. ‘But then we go talking, I did what you said Ianto I was honest and I told him I still love him.’

 

‘What did he say?’ Ianto asked.

 

Gwen smiled. ‘He said he still loves me, but we need to take things slowly. I agreed with him and we’ve decided to meet up again tomorrow night.’

 

‘That’s great.’ Ianto grinned.

 

‘It’s just good to know he hasn’t been seeing anyone else.’ Gwen replied. ‘I know that’s selfish of me, but I just hope we can get things back on track.’ she replied.

 

‘You’ll be fine.’ Ianto encouraged.

 

The three of them made their way back to the tourist office and let themselves in; they headed down the corridor, down the lift and eventually reached the cog-wheel door that rolled open letting them into the heart of the hub. Ianto stopped dead when he entered the hub – he knew instantly something was wrong as the Doctor was there standing in front of his TARDIS just waiting.

 

Tosh and Gwen frowned at the stranger and then glanced around the hub but could not see Jack or Owen; they quickly drew their guns and pointed them at the stranger.

 

‘Doctor? What are you doing here?’ Ianto asked heading down the steps, setting down the boxes of pizza on Tosh’s desk.

 

‘Doctor?’ Gwen asked. ‘As in Jack’s Doctor?’ she said lowering her gun.

 

Ianto swallowed. ‘What is it?’ he asked glancing at The Doctor’s anxious face. ‘What’s happened?’ he asked. Ianto glanced around the hub his heart starting to beat faster. ‘Where is he? Where’s Jack?’

 

‘I’m sorry Ianto.’ The Doctor said shaking his head. ‘We had to take him, we couldn’t wait.’

 

Ianto’s eyes widened with alarm. ‘What happened?’ he asked.

 

‘We had to take him to hospital.’ The Doctor told him.

 

‘The baby?’ Ianto asked.

 

‘They had to deliver her.’ The Doctor explained.

 

‘It’s too early!’ Ianto cried panic stricken.

 

‘Jack went into labour, there was nothing we could do.’ The Doctor replied. ‘Owen called me and I took him to a hospital in the 51st century.’ he explained.

 

Horror swept through Ianto’s body. ‘Is she alive?’ he asked. ‘Did she survive? Is Jack okay?’

 

The Doctor shook his head. ‘I don’t know Ianto, Owen is with him that’s all I know.’

 

‘Take me.’ Ianto said charging over to the TARDIS. ‘Come on what are you waiting for? I want to see Jack, I want to see my baby. Open this door now and take me to my family.’ he demanded.

 

‘Alright, come on.’ The Doctor said unlocking the door to the TARDIS and pushing it open.

 

Ianto glanced back at Gwen and Tosh. ‘What if -’ he started to ask.

 

‘Don’t.’ Tosh said tears in her eyes. ‘Just go, Jack will be waiting for you.’

 

Ianto nodded, stepped into the TARDIS and closed the door behind him. Gwen and Tosh stood together and watched as it disappeared; they glanced at each other both very worried. ‘Do you think the baby will survive?’ Gwen asked anxiously.

 

Tosh nodded. ‘She has to ...’ she replied trying to be positive - Jack and Ianto simply wouldn’t be able to cope otherwise.

 

\---

 

Ianto sped out of the TARDIS the second it landed and raced through the hospital calling Jack’s name; he had no idea where he was going but all he knew was he had to find him. Ianto ran down corridor after corridor and only sped to a halt when he came to a sign. Ianto’s eyes darted over it and raced off in the direction of the Paternity ward. The Doctor chased after Ianto calling for him to slow down.

 

‘Jack!’ Ianto shouted desperately. ‘Jack!’

 

‘You must be Ianto.’ A ginger haired girl said heading over to him. ‘We’re with the Doctor, we brought Jack here.’ she explained.

 

‘What’s going on? Where is he? Where’s Jack? Where’s my baby?’ Ianto asked staring at the girl.

 

The Doctor finally caught up with them and laid his hand on Ianto’s shoulder. ‘Ianto ...’ he panted, catching his breath. ‘You sure can run fast ...’ he puffed.

 

Ianto shrugged free. ‘Tell me where they are.’ he demanded.

 

‘In there.’ Amy said pointing to the door.

 

Ianto headed over to the door and tried the handle but it was locked; glanced around he noticed the panel and placed his hand on it. The Doctor headed over to sonic it once more but was surprised when the door clicked open and allowed Ianto to enter. Without a backward glance, Ianto let himself into the room and closed the door behind him.

 

The Doctor studied the panel closely and scanned it with his sonic screwdriver. ‘Oh very cleaver.’ he grinned.

 

Amy headed over. ‘How did he get in?’ she asked. ‘I thought only staff could?’

 

‘The panel reads DNA.’ The Doctor explained. ‘It will let you into the room if you are approved staff or next of kin.’ The Doctor replied. ‘It read Ianto’s DNA and since he’s the baby’s father it matched them up and allowed him in.’

 

Just then the door opened and Owen stepped out. ‘How are they?’ the Doctor asked worriedly.

 

Owen’s eyes swept over The Doctor’s, Amy’s and Rory’s. ‘The baby is alive, if she makes it through the next 48 hours they think she’ll be okay.’ he told them.

 

‘Thank God!’ Amy sighed with relief. Rory slid his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

 

‘And Jack?’ The Doctor asked. ‘He’s okay too?’

 

‘He died but is awake now.’ Owen explained. ‘He’s just relieved the baby survived, Ianto will look after him don’t worry.’

 

Amy glanced at the Doctor. ‘He died?’ she asked. ‘And then woke up?’

 

The Doctor smiled. ‘Jack is a one of a kind.’ he laughed.

 

Amy crossed her arms. ‘You’ve got some explaining to do mister.’ she replied unsatisfied with his answer.

 


	19. Chapter 19

Ianto and Jack stood together gazing down at the growth chamber which contained their baby. The outside of the chamber was made of transparent plastic and inside was a second chamber filled with fluid in which they baby was suspended. All sorts of wires and tubes fed into the chamber and attached to her, there were so many that it was difficult to see the baby under the mass of them all.

 

‘Why does she have to stay in there?’ Ianto asked, he was just desperate to hold her.

 

'It's helping her to finish growing.’ Jack explained trying to remember what the nurses had told him, although at the time he was feeling numb.

 

‘How long does she have to be in there?’ Ianto asked.

 

‘I’m not sure.’ Jack replied with a small shake of his head. ‘But the nurse said that the next two days are critical.’

 

‘Critical?’ Ianto croaked, his eyes widening with fear. ‘You mean she could still die?’

 

Jack chewed his bottom lip but nodded knowing he had to be honest with Ianto; he slipped his fingers through his and squeezed them tightly. ‘We just have to stay strong.’ he told him.

 

‘She’s so tiny.’ Ianto whispered as he peered into the chamber.

 

‘It’s my fault.’ Jack mumbled his eyes filling with tears. ‘I couldn’t even keep her safe until she was born what use will I be to her now?’

 

Ianto stroked his fingers gently over the back of Jack’s knuckles. ‘Don’t.’ he whispered not wanting Jack to beat himself up. ‘Like you said we have to stay strong for her.’

 

‘But what if I did something wrong?’ Jack asked. ‘If she dies it will be my fault.’

 

Ianto shook his head. ‘You did nothing wrong Jack.’ he told him firmly. ‘You are not to blame for this.’

 

Jack was grateful to Ianto for saying that but deep down he knew it was his fault – he was the one carrying her after all. ‘Maybe we should talk to her, she might be able to hear us?’ he suggested although he knew it unlikely; she seemed to be in some sort of stasis, her eyes were closed and she barely moved aside from a few twitches of her hands and feet.

 

Ianto nodded slightly. ‘Hello beautiful.’ he said laying his hand on the outside of the chamber. ‘I’m so happy to see you; I wish I could hold you but I can’t just yet. Don’t worry though once I can I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put you down again.’ he smiled bravely.

 

Jack slid his arm around Ianto’s shoulder and cuddled him close. Ianto glanced up at him and brushed a soft kiss to his lips. ‘Say something.’ he encouraged.

 

Jack glanced at the chamber. ‘Like what?’ he asked – how could he put into words what he was feeling when his emotions were all over the place; he was relieved she’d survived birth, worried she wouldn’t make it past the next few critical hours and angry at himself for not being able to protect her even though she was growing inside him.

 

‘Anything you want.’ Ianto replied.

 

Jack gazed at his baby daughter for a few moments before he spoke. ‘You know you’re very lucky.’ he whispered. ‘Having Ianto for a father; I hope I can be as good as I know he will.’ he smiled. ‘I’m sorry I let you down but it won’t happen again, no matter what happens I’ll be there for you, to protect you, to be your dad and I’ll always love you.’

 

Ianto squeezed Jack’s hand tightly. ‘I love you so much.’ he whispered. Jack smiled down at him and they kissed each other tenderly. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, you must have been so scared Jack.’

 

Jack nodded but the word scared didn’t even begin cover how he’d felt. ‘I thought we were going to lose her.’ he confessed. ‘We still could.’

 

Ianto slid his arms around Jack’s neck. ‘We can’t think like that.’ he replied. ‘She’ll be okay and soon we’ll be taking her home.’ he added encouragingly.

 

Jack nodded knowing that he had to believe that was true; they drew apart and resumed watching over their daughter. ‘She needs a name.’ Jack said, not taking his eyes of the small screen that showed the baby’s heartbeat. ‘I want you to name her Ianto.’

 

Ianto was surprised by this decision. ‘You should have a say.’ he replied glancing up at Jack. ‘She’s ours.’

 

‘I didn’t let you have a say when it came to Freya.’ Jack replied. ‘It’s only fair for you decide.’

 

Ianto glanced down at the baby. ‘It’s not fair if you don’t have a say in this little one’s name.’ he reasoned.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter what you call her, it won’t change how perfect she is.’

 

Ianto smiled slightly and understood what Jack meant – their daughter was perfect and whatever they called her wouldn’t change that. “What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” he quoted remembering back to an essay he wrote on Romeo and Juliet whilst he was still at school.

 

Jack glanced at Ianto. ‘Shakespeare?’ he asked, the quote vaguely ringing a bell. Ianto blushed and just nodded his head slightly. Jack’s eyes returned to the baby. ‘You must have thought about names?’ he asked.

 

Ianto gazed down at her. ‘I have one in mind.’ he replied.

 

‘What is it?’ Jack asked turning to him.

 

Ianto glanced up at Jack. ‘You named Freya after your mother, so I thought it would be nice to name this little one after mine.’ he replied.

 

Jack squeezed Ianto’s hand tightly – his mother and father had passed a few years back, just after he’d started working for Torchwood Three. It was still a sore point for Ianto, he felt personally responsible as his mother and father had not died naturally - they’d been killed by a weevil whilst on their way back from an evening out together. ‘What was her name?’ he asked hating the fact he didn’t remember.

 

‘Carys.’ Ianto replied tears sparkling in his eyes as he thought of his mother who he loved dearly. ‘It’s the welsh word for love.’ he told him. Ianto had thought of this name the very moment he’d discovered he was going to have a baby girl; he’d been very close to his mother although the few years before her death he’d not been able to spend much time with her as he lived in London at the time. He felt guilty for this even though he couldn’t have possibly known she would be killed along with his father.

 

Jack couldn’t help but smile. ‘Carys.’ he whispered testing out the name. He turned back to the chamber and gazed down at their baby. ‘Carys.’ he repeated smiling broadly at how perfectly it suited her. ‘I love it.’

 

‘You do?’ Ianto asked a little worriedly.

 

Jack smiled and nodded. ‘Carys Jones.’ he confirmed.

 

‘Harkness-Jones.’ Ianto corrected him.

 

‘But -’ Jack started to say.

 

‘No I insist.’ Ianto said shaking his head. ‘Freya was a Harkness-Jones, I want her sister to be the same.’

 

Jack smiled and nodded in agreement. ‘Thank you.’ he said quickly wiping away the tears that had formed at the corner of his eyes. Although it had been very hard at the time he was glad he’d eventually told Ianto about Freya, it meant that they could remember her together and he knew Ianto wouldn’t ever treat this baby as a replacement. Jack hadn’t told Ianto that the room they were now standing in was where Freya had been born – he knew it was just a coincidence Carys had been born there too but couldn’t help but hate the familiarity of the room he’d spent so much time in three years previously.

 

\---

 

The Doctor ran his sonic screw driver over the growth chamber. ‘Fascinating ...’ he mumbled under his breath. ‘What will you humans think of next!’ he laughed. ‘No wonder you’ve spread so far across the galaxy.’ he mused.

 

Jack was lying on the bed being checked over by several nurses even though he kept insisting he was fine smiled up at the Doctor. ‘She’s gorgeous isn’t she?’ he grinned.

 

The Doctor turned back and gazed at the baby. ‘With you and Ianto for parents how could she be anything else?’ he replied.

 

Jack laughed. ‘Thanks Doc, now I’ve got something to ask you.’

 

‘Hmm ... and what would that be?’ The Doctor asked.

 

‘On a temporary basis would you consider fixing this for me?’ Jack asked handing him his vortex manipulator.

 

The Doctor took it and frowned slightly. ‘You know I don’t want you running around messing with time lines Jack.’

 

‘I promise I won’t.’ Jack replied quickly. ‘I just thought it would allow Ianto to travel between here and home more easily, we’ve got so much to prepare before we take Carys home and the others will want to know what’s happening.’ he explained.

 

The Doctor rubbed his chin as he thought about it. ‘If I do agree then it will be only until you take Carys home, once you’re back on Earth for good I will deactivate it once more.’

 

Jack nodded eagerly. ‘That’s all I want, please Doc.’

 

The Doctor flipped open the leather flap covering the vortex manipulator and quickly zapped it with his sonic screwdriver; he then tossed it to Jack. ‘Be careful.’ he warned. ‘I’m trusting you Jack.’

 

‘Thanks Doc.’ Jack smiled gratefully.

 

\---

 

Two days later ...

 

Ianto sat down on the side of the hospital bed. ‘I don’t want to go Jack, I need to here with both of you.’ he told him.

 

The 48 hours of anxious waiting had finally passed and Carys was still hanging on to life. The past two days had been the longest Jack and Ianto had ever known, both of them terrified they’d lose their daughter. Even now they were trying not to celebrate too much as the nurses were still constantly monitoring her and they’d told Jack that Carys would need to remain in the chamber for another three weeks before they could take her home. Jack and Ianto hated the fact their daughter was there right in front of them but they were unable to hold her or even touch her. However, they both knew it was for the best and were prepared to wait until she’d been given clear before they risked removing her from the chamber.

 

Owen, The Doctor, Amy and Rory had all wanted to remain with them but Jack knew it wasn’t fair to keep them there another three weeks and so encouraged them to leave. The Doctor had bid him goodbye and good luck and promised to come back when it was time to take the three of them home again.

 

Jack tangled his fingers through Ianto’s. ‘They’re not planning to let me out of here anytime soon even though I know I’m perfectly fine but we need get things sorted out at home otherwise when we take her back we’ll have nothing – we don’t even have anywhere for her to sleep yet Yan.’

 

Ianto hung his head and sighed. ‘I know it makes sense if I go, but what if something happens?’ he asked. ‘What if I’m at home and something goes wrong?’

 

‘Take my phone.’ Jack said pressing it into Ianto’s hand. ‘I promise I’ll call if anything changes okay? Besides you can time it so when you come back you’ve not been away long.’

 

‘I’ll know I’ve been gone though.’ Ianto grumbled. ‘Alright,’ he sighed, ‘I guess I should go but I’ll be back before you know it.’ he smiled reassuringly as he got up.

 

‘Ianto, I know it will be tempting but you can’t go anywhere else okay?’ Jack said gazing up at him. ‘Don’t go to the future, we can’t know what’s going to happen no matter how tempted you are. You mustn’t know anything you don’t already know okay?’

 

Ianto nodded quickly. ‘I understand and yes you’re right it will be very tempting to go into the future and make sure everything is okay but I won’t.’ he told him.

 

‘I trust you.’ Jack nodded, he slid off the bed and wound his arms around Ianto and kissed him deeply.

 

‘I’d better go then.’ Ianto said, he went to depart the room but stopped and headed over to the growth chamber. Ianto laid his hand on the top and smiled down at his baby. ‘I’ll be back before you know it.’ he promised.

 

Jack watched as Ianto left the room and wondered how long it would be until he arrived back, his vortex manipulator wasn’t as accurate as the TARDIS and so it was likely to be a couple of hours rather than a few minutes. Jack laid back on the bed hating the fact he was now alone in this hospital - no Owen, no Ianto and no Doctor; he also had no way of leaving as both his vortex manipulator and the TARDIS were gone.

 

\---

 

Ianto stumbled as he landed roughly after transporting to the 21st century; he fell into Tosh’s desk and then toppled onto the floor. 

 

‘Ianto!’ Tosh cried crouching down and helping him up. ‘Oh it’s so good to see you!’ she cried wrapping her arms around him and cuddling him tightly. ‘How are you? How’s Jack? How’s the baby?’

 

Ianto smiled and nodded enthusiastically. ‘She’s doing well, we’re hoping to bring her home soon.’ he told her. ‘How long have I been gone?’ he asked.

 

Tosh glanced at her the date on her computer screen. ‘Almost two weeks.’ she told him.

 

‘Two weeks!’ Ianto cried glancing down at Jack’s vortex manipulator. ‘I must have done something wrong.’ he frowned.

 

‘Never mind that you’re home now.’ Tosh grinned hugging him again. ‘I’m so happy to see you.’

 

Gwen and Owen who were working in the autopsy bay dashed up stairs at the sound of Ianto’s voice and ran over to him, throwing their arms around him and hugging him tightly. Gwen, Owen and Tosh sat Ianto down on the sofa wanting to know every detail of what had happened. Ianto couldn’t help but smile as he told them all about Carys but at the same time he was worried – she was still wired up to the machines and wasn’t yet breathing on her own. His friends had reassured him that everything would be fine and Ianto just hoped they were right.

 

Owen and Tosh insisted on getting Ianto dinner when he mentioned he was hungry and went to get fresh pizza for him. Ianto glanced at Gwen who prepared him a cup of coffee. ‘This is all a bit strange.’ he said accepting the mug she offered. ‘Last time we decided on pizza Jack went into labour.’

 

Gwen nodded. ‘That seems like such a long ago, it’s been torture not knowing what was happening. We’ve been so worried, when Owen returned we were hoping you wouldn’t be too far behind.’ she told him.

 

‘It’s only three days for me.’ Ianto told her; he lay back against the sofa. ‘I’ll never get used to time travel.’ he sighed.

 

‘You look exhausted.’ Gwen said noting the dark circles under his eyes.

 

‘Jack and I have been taking it in turns to keep watch over Carys.’ Ianto replied. ‘Neither of us has been able to sleep much.’

 

‘Understandably.’ Gwen nodded. ‘At least the worst part is over.’ she encouraged. ‘You’ll be bringing her home soon.’

 

Ianto nodded, he glanced at Gwen. ‘How are things between you and Rhys?’ he asked.

 

Gwen smiled and nodded positively. ‘He’s moving back in this weekend.’ she told him.

 

‘That’s fantastic.’ Ianto grinned. ‘I’m so happy for you.’ he said hugging her tightly.

 

Gwen buried her head in Ianto’s shoulder. ‘And I’m happy for you Ianto, really I mean it this time. You and Jack will be brilliant fathers.’

 

‘Thank you.’ Ianto smiled as they drew apart. ‘That means so much Gwen.’

 

\---

 

Ianto remained in the 21st century for some time; he missed Jack and Carys terribly but with his teammate’s help he managed to secure the house he and Jack had their hearts set on and get it ready for when they bought Carys home. It was the four bedroom house they’d visited weeks previously but when they’d put in their offer they’d discovered that another had already been accepted and they’d been bitterly disappointed.

 

However, something strange had happened upon Ianto’s return and he found that the house was suddenly available and his team mates had some very mysterious grins on their faces.

 

On the day he moved into the house, a few weeks after arriving back on Earth, Ianto was determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. ‘So come on are you going to tell me why this place was suddenly up for sale again?’ he asked as he and Owen heaved a sofa through the hallway toward the living room.

 

Tosh set down the lamp she’d been carrying and glanced at Gwen - the two smiled secretively. ‘That would be telling now wouldn’t it?’ Tosh replied.

 

Ianto rolled his eyes. ‘What did you lot do?’ he asked setting down the sofa.

 

Gwen put box she’d been carrying down on the floor. ‘Let’s just say the people who bought this house from under your nose suddenly decided to emigrate to America.’

 

‘And why would they do that?’ Ianto asked with raised eyebrows.

 

‘Let’s just say that they got a job offer they simply couldn’t turn down.’ Tosh replied.

 

Ianto laughed. ‘Well I’m grateful, Jack and I loved this place when we came to visit and nothing else we saw compared.’

 

\---

 

Later that evening, after Owen, Gwen and Tosh had departed Ianto stood in the middle of his new home and gazed around; it was warm and comfortable but didn’t feel like home yet as Jack and Carys were not there with him. Ianto headed up to his and Jack’s new bedroom and finished unpacking a few boxes that remained. When he was done it was late; Ianto glanced at the bed but did not want to sleep there alone with an empty crib standing beside the bed. It just didn’t feel right.

 

Pulling on his jacket, Ianto decided it was time to go back to the 51st century. He flipped open the leather flap of Jack’s wrist strap and tried to remember what Jack had shown him – weeks had passed since he’d last used it and he found it rather difficult to programme in the location and time he wanted to go to.

 

After a while he managed to work it out and in a flash Ianto had disappeared from 21st century Cardiff.

 

\---

 

Slamming into the wall of the hospital corridor Ianto picked himself up and rubbed his aching arm; he glanced around and took a few moments to get his bearings. Heading down the corridor Ianto located the room Jack was staying in placed his hand on the panel outside the door. “Approved” flashed up in bright green letters on the panel and Ianto let himself into the room – he simply couldn’t wait to see Jack and their daughter.

 

Ianto closed the door behind him, turned but stopped in his tracks – Jack wasn’t there and the growth chamber was empty. Ianto’s first thought was that he’d got the wrong room, he was about to leave when he spotted a crib beside the bed. Ianto’s eyes grew wide with fear when he saw a small body in the crib with a white cloth covering over it. Ianto rushed over and pulled back the cloth – the baby was still and her eyes were closed. Ianto’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Carys? No ... no ...’ he cried picking up the baby and cradling her in his arms. ‘Please no.’ he begged.

 

Suddenly the door opened and a nurse entered. ‘Who are you? What are you doing?’ she said snatching the baby from Ianto and laying it back down in the crib. ‘Have you no respect?’

 

‘Where is Jack?’ Ianto asked gazing up at the cat-like creature.

 

The nurse frowned. ‘Captain Jack Harkness?’ she asked.

 

‘Of course who else?’ Ianto snapped. ‘What is going on?’ he asked completely bewildered.

 

‘Captain Harkness has gone for tests. Are you a friend?’ The nurse asked. ‘How did you get in here?’

 

‘My name is Ianto Jones.’ Ianto told her. ‘I’m Jack’s ... I’m his partner. I’m Carys’s father. What’s happened?’ he asked.

 

‘Carys?’ The nurse asked. ‘I’m sorry Mr Jones I don’t understand.’

 

Ianto turned and gazed down at the baby. ‘Carys ... our baby.’

 

‘No I’m afraid you must be confused.’ The nurse said shaking her head. ‘This little one is called Freya, unfortunately she passed away before she was born. Captain Harkness will be burying her today.’ she explained, her large brown eyes full of sorrow and her pointed ears drooping at the tips.

 

Ianto’s eyes grew wide. ‘I shouldn’t be here!’ he cried suddenly realising what had happened. ‘I didn’t do it right.’ he said gazing down at his wrist strap.

 

‘I don’t understand, what is going on?’ The nurse asked.

 

‘Don’t tell Jack I was here, I shouldn’t be here, you mustn’t tell him.’ Ianto told her.

 

The nurse studied him. ‘Mr Jones are you okay?’ she asked. ‘Would you like me to call someone for you?’

 

‘No.’ Ianto said quickly shaking his head. ‘I’ll be leaving now, promise me you won’t say anything?’ he asked.

 

The nurse nodded. ‘Okay I won’t, are you sure you don’t want to wait for Captain Harkness? He’s due back in an hour.’ she told him.

 

‘What kind of tests?’ Ianto asked worriedly. ‘He’s okay isn’t he?.’

 

‘Routine tests we do before a patient is discharged, it’s nothing worry about.’ The nurse explained. ‘You can wait if you like?’

 

‘No it’s fine.’ Ianto said glancing down at the wrist strap – he noticed he’d programmed the wrong date in and quickly changed it. Ianto was about to leave but then stopped – this was his one chance to see Freya. Ianto headed out of the room and leant against the wall; he waited until the nurse had left the room before he let himself back in. Ianto sat down on the bed gently picked up Freya and held her in his arms. ‘I’m here now. I’m so sorry ...’ he whispered as tears dripped down his face. ‘We’ll always remember you I promise, we’ll always love you. I’m so glad I got the opportunity to see you, to say goodbye to you. I’ll never forget you I promise.’ he whispered as he pressed a soft kiss to her head.

 

Ianto sat and held her a long time just crying silent tears; he snapped out of his daze when he heard voices in the corridor outside – one he recognised as Jack’s. Ianto quickly laid Freya back down in crib and hid himself. Ianto’s eyes widened when Jack entered the room with another stranger – this he assumed was the Doctor before he’d regenerated. Jack gathered up the baby in his arms. ‘Time to go.’ he mumbled his voice stony. Ianto knew that tone, Jack was desperately trying to be brave, desperately trying to hold back his emotions. Ianto studied him, he looked so tired and so sad – nothing like the Jack he knew and loved.

 

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to go and get Ianto?’ The Doctor asked – Ianto could tell that this wasn’t the first time he’d asked, he seemed to be almost pleading with Jack.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘He didn’t know I was pregnant, he didn’t even know I was capable of getting pregnant how could I tell him that I’d lost his baby?’ he asked.

 

‘You shouldn’t go through this alone.’ The Doctor told him.

 

‘I’ve got you.’ Jack said gazing up at him. ‘Please Doctor I can’t tell him, it will break his heart. I can’t bear to think of him feeling the pain I feel now.’

 

Ianto wanted to rush over to him, wrap his arms around him and cuddle him tight but he knew he couldn’t - he’d promised his Jack that he wouldn’t mess with timelines and he was trusting him not to do so.

 

The Doctor wrapped his arm around Jack. ‘Alright, if that’s what you want let’s go.’ he replied accepting his friend’s wishes. ‘The TARDIS is just down the hall.’

 

Jack cradled Freya in his arms and together he and the Doctor headed out of the room. Ianto slid down the wall and wrapped his arms around his knees – he wanted to follow but knew the Doctor would be taking him to Boshane where they’d bury Freya. Ianto glanced at the vortex manipulator knowing it wouldn’t be able to take him there as he only knew the co-ordinates of the hospital and the hub so he couldn’t travel anywhere else using it.

 

Ianto wiped his eyes, all he wanted was to see his Jack; he punched away at the bottoms of the wrist strap and in a flash he’d disappeared again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!

‘Ianto!’ Jack cried leaping up. ‘You’re back, how did it go?’ he asked scrambling off the hospital bed. ‘Yan? What’s wrong?’ he asked glancing down at his lover’s tear streaked face. ‘Yan? What is it?’ he asked slipping down onto his knees in front of him.

 

Ianto crawled into Jack’s arms and sobbed into his shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to go there.’ he cried. ‘It was an accident, I didn’t even realise where I was, at first I thought it was Carys, I thought she was dead and you weren’t there ... oh Jack it was awful!’

 

‘Carys is fine.’ Jack whispered reassuringly. ‘And I’m right here.’

 

Ianto gazed up at him through tear filled eyes. ‘I wanted to hug you, I wanted to comfort you but I knew I couldn’t because it would change things.’

 

‘Ianto what are you talking about?’ Jack asked; he drew back suddenly fearful. ‘You’ve been to the future haven’t you? What happened to Carys? Is she okay?’

 

Ianto shook his head. ‘Not the future.’ he replied. ‘It was Freya that I saw.’ he told him. Ianto glanced over Jack’s shoulder at the empty crib beside the bed. ‘There.’ he pointed. ‘She was lying just there. She wasn’t moving at all.’

 

Jack glanced over at the crib. ‘You saw her? You were there?’

 

Ianto nodded. ‘It was an accident, I didn’t mean to go there.’

 

‘Where was I?’ Jack asked.

 

‘You were having tests, but then you came back. You were with the Doctor, a different version of the Doctor and when you came in I hid so you didn’t see me.’ he explained.

 

‘You were there all that time?’ Jack asked.

 

Ianto nodded. ‘I didn’t know what to do, you were so upset and I wanted to just hold you but I was scared in case I changed things.’

 

‘You did the right thing.’ Jack replied reassuringly – having Ianto there would have been a great comfort but it could have changed future events dramatically.

 

‘I held her Jack.’ Ianto whispered, tears brimming in his eyes. ‘I talked to her, I told her I loved her and I said goodbye.’

 

Jack wrapped his arms around him not caring that they were kneeling in the middle of the floor; Ianto sagged against him and sobbed into his arms. Jack held him tightly and stroked the back of his head fondly. Ianto eventually drew back after crying all the tears he had left within in. ‘How long have I been gone?’ he asked wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket.

 

‘Only a few hours.’ Jack replied.

 

Ianto gazed up at the growth chamber. ‘She’s okay?’ he asked worriedly.

 

Jack smiled and nodded. ‘She’s fine.’ he reassured him. ‘Come,’ he said coaxing Ianto up off the floor. ‘Come and lie down, you look exhausted.’

 

Ianto lay back on the bed, crying had exhausted him and all he wanted to do was sleep. Jack slid on to the bed next to him and cuddled him close. ‘I’m sorry you have to see that.’ he whispered.

 

‘It’s okay.’ Ianto mumbled. ‘It was awful but I’m grateful I got to say goodbye to her.’

 

Jack pressed a soft kiss to his temple. ‘I love you.’ he whispered.

 

Ianto gazed up at him, his eyes red and puffy but he smiled. ‘Love you too cariad, I just can’t wait to take our baby home.’

 

‘Me too.’ Jack nodded; he cuddled him close and held him until Ianto drifted off to sleep.

 

_Three weeks later ..._

 

Jack and Ianto watched as the nurses detached the wires from their baby; the chamber had been drained of the fluid and very soon they’d be able to hold her in their arms. The nurses had been monitoring Carys closer and thankfully her lungs were now fully formed and functional.

 

One of the nurses lifted Carys out of the chamber and completed a few final checks before she laid her in Jack’s anxiously waiting arms. Jack gazed down at his daughter, tears or relief and pride welling up in his eyes. ‘Hello beautiful.’ he whispered. The nurses quietly left the room allowing Jack and Ianto to have some privacy.

 

Ianto rested his head on Jack’s shoulder and took Cary’s tiny hand in his. ‘She’s perfect.’ he whispered smiling up at Jack. ‘I can’t believe something as ordinary as breathing is so wonderful to watch.’

 

Jack’s eyes watered. ‘I know what you mean, just seeing her without all those tubes and wires is a little overwhelming.’

 

Ianto kissed him softly. ‘We made it eventually Cariad, all three of us.’ he smiled. Jack just nodded his head slightly, unable to take his eyes of his daughter.

 

Cary’s eyes opened for the first time and she blinked and squinted against the light. Ianto and Jack glanced at each other and their hearts melted at the sight of her brilliant blue eyes. They couldn’t take their eyes of her, both had fallen completely in love with her at first sight. Jack wondered how he could have ever considered not being a part of her life, he never wanted to be parted from her again. Jack glanced at Ianto. ‘Thank you.’ he whispered. ‘Thank you for not giving up on me.’ he said, his voice cracking as he tried to hold back his tears.

 

‘Never will.’ Ianto replied as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips. ‘And thank you for her.’ he smiled. ‘I know this wasn’t planned but I wouldn’t change her for  the world.’

 

‘Me either.’ Jack replied. Although he didn’t want to let her go, he knew he Ianto was eager to hold her and so carefully handed Carys to him; she whimpered a little but soon settled down in Ianto’s arms and fell back to sleep. Ianto carefully climbed onto the bed and Jack settled down beside him, the two of them just watched their daughter sleep in a mesmerised silence. Jack slid his arm around Ianto and cuddled him close and they both sighed with contentment.

 

‘Tomorrow we go home.’ Ianto smiled, he simply couldn’t wait to take Carys home.

 

‘Finally, I was beginning to think that day would never come.’ Jack confessed.

 

‘I think we should take a leaf out of her book and get some rest.’ Ianto replied. The previous night they’d barely slept at all as they knew the next day was the day Carys would be taken out of the growth chamber. They were both exhausted, the past three weeks had been the longest and emotionally challenging of their lives.

 

Jack nodded, he slid off the bed and gently lifted Carys from Ianto’s arms and laid her down in her crib that was set up beside the bed. Ianto’s arms felt empty now, he gazed up at Jack who couldn’t take his eyes of Carys. ‘Who do you think she looks more like?’ he asked, an amused smile crossing his lips.

 

Jack slid back onto the bed, spooning Ianto so they could both watch their daughter sleep. Jack slid his arms around Ianto and pressed a soft kiss to his neck. ‘Definitely you.’ he replied. ‘She has your eyes for sure.’ he smiled. Ianto yawned but tried to keep his eyes open – he didn’t want to miss anything even though she was only sleeping. ‘We should sleep while we can.’ Jack encouraged. ‘She’ll be awake for her first feed soon.’

 

Ianto smiled and nodded; he settled down comforted by the soft kisses Jack dotted over his neck and shoulders. Jack buried his nose in Ianto’s neck, breathing in his scent. ‘I love you.’ he whispered.

 

Ianto, who was on the verge of sleep, smiled lazily. ‘Love you too cariad.’

 

\---

 

Jack held onto Carys whilst Ianto unlocked the door to their new home. ‘I can’t believe you got this place!’ he exclaimed. ‘I thought someone had already bought it?’

 

Ianto set down his keys on a small table to the side of the front door. ‘We owe our friends a drink that’s for sure.’ he replied.

 

Jack entered the house and gazed around the warm and comfortable living room. ‘It’s even better than I remember.’ he smiled.

 

Ianto laughed. ‘Maybe that’s because it contains all our things now, it’s more homely than the empty place we visited.’ he reminded him. Jack nodded, he loved the fact his personal possessions were now mingled with Ianto’s it made the house truly feel like theirs. ‘Come on let me show me give you and Carys a tour of our new home.’ he grinned. Jack smiled and nodded; he followed Ianto who took him on a tour of the ground floor which, aside from the living room, consisted of a large kitchen, dining room and a small study. They then headed up stairs – Ianto had left two of the bedrooms empty because he wasn’t sure what they’d be using them for yet. The smallest room of the house he’d chosen as the nursery as it was closest to the master bedroom. ‘I hope you like it.’ he replied as he pushed open the door.

 

A broad smile crossed Jack’s lips as he stood in the middle of the nursery. ‘It’s gorgeous.’ he grinned as he gazed around the room. Ianto had painted the room a creamy-white colour with a lemon border. The furniture was white including a set of shelves in the corner stocked with everything they needed, a small chest of drawers containing all the clothes they’d bought and a magnificent white crib that sat in the very middle of the room. ‘She’ll get lost in there.’ Jack replied as he gazed down into the crib.

 

Ianto smiled. ‘I think we’ll wait until she’s a little older before we put her in here.’ he told her. ‘I’ve got a smaller one in our room.’ he added.

 

‘Show me.’ Jack replied eagerly.

 

‘Come on then.’ Ianto grinned. Together they headed out of the room and into the master bedroom next door. The room was painted a warm bluish-grey colour and in the middle a huge four-poster bed proudly stood.

 

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed and cuddled Carys close. ‘This really feels like home.’ he smiled.

 

‘Is it okay?’ Ianto asked worriedly. ‘We can change anything you don’t like?’ he offered.

 

Jack shook his head. ‘It’s perfect.’ he told him – he knew it would be, Ianto knew him so well that he’d styled the house perfectly to match both their tastes. As he glanced around, Jack couldn’t help but notice that Ianto had framed the picture of Freya and had it sat on the window ledge along with several other picture including their teammates and Ianto’s parents.

 

‘Do you mind?’ Ianto asked, watching Jack’s eyes fall on the picture of Freya. ‘If it’s going to upset you we can take it down?’

 

Jack shook his head. ‘I want to remember her always.’ he told him.

 

Ianto kissed him softly. ‘How about we get this little one fed and put down and try and catch some sleep ourselves?’ he suggested. ‘Then later we can show her off to everyone.’

 

‘Sounds perfect.’ Jack nodded.

 

\---

 

Gwen smiled down at Carys as she cuddled her. ‘Oh Jack she’s absolutely gorgeous!’ she cried.

 

Tosh leant over and gazed at the baby. ‘Wow Ianto she’s the spitting image of you.’

 

Ianto grinned broadly. ‘Do you think so?’ he asked as he set down the tray of coffees he’d prepared for them on the coffee table. ‘I think she’s got Jack’s nose.’

 

‘How can you tell?’ Owen asked peering down at her and looking up at Jack. ‘All babies look the same to me.’

 

Tosh rolled her eyes and nudged Owen. ‘You’re hopeless.’ she teased.

 

Ianto handed the bottle he’d prepared to Gwen. ‘You can feed her if you like?’ he offered.

 

‘Are you sure?’ Gwen asked rather surprised – given how she’d treated Ianto in the past she was rather taken aback by this offer.

 

Ianto nodded eagerly. ‘Of course.’ he smiled encouragingly. Ianto didn’t see Gwen as a threat anymore, just looking at Jack he could see how much he adored their family and nothing would ever change that. He wanted to put his differences with Gwen aside and letting her feed their baby was a way of showing her that he trusted her and that he’d forgiven her.

 

‘You’d better show me how to do it properly.’ Gwen replied not wanting to get it wrong.

 

Ianto crouched down beside the sofa and gently eased Carys up slightly so she was supported in Gwen’s arm. ‘Lift her head slightly, that’s it.’ he encouraged. ‘She sure does guzzle it down.’ he grinned as Carys latched onto the bottle and drank greedily.

 

‘Wow.’ Gwen breathed watching as Carys’s eyes drifted shut as she concentrated solely on the milk.

 

Ianto glanced up to see Jack, Owen and Tosh talking on the other side of the room and knew they wouldn’t be overheard. ‘How are things with Rhys? Has he moved in yet?’

 

Gwen nodded. ‘This weekend just gone, it’s going really well. We’re not quite back to how we were but we’re getting there.’

 

Ianto smiled and laid his hand on her’s. ‘I’m glad.’

 

‘I think she’s about done.’ Gwen said handing Ianto the bottle which only had a small amount of milk left in it.

 

‘She’ll fall asleep soon, a feed usually tuckers her right out.’ Ianto smiled as he lifted Carys up into his arms.

 

‘I bet you can’t believe she’s here.’ Gwen replied.

 

Ianto shook his head. ‘I can’t believe how much my life has changed this past year.’ he replied – this time last year he and Jack were still seeing each other in secret and weren’t very sure where they stood with each other. Now they had a beautiful baby girl and were living together.

 

‘So Jack are you going to be taking paternity leave?’ Owen asked.

 

Jack and Ianto had discussed this in great lengths over the past three weeks whilst at the hospital and they’d decided that they both needed time to be together with Carys without all the complications of Torchwood getting in the way. ‘I will if that’s okay with you three?’ he asked glancing at Gwen, Tosh and Owen.

 

‘Of course.’ Tosh nodded. ‘You need time to be together as a family.’ she encouraged, Gwen and Owen nodded in agreement.

 

Jack smiled gratefully. ‘Well of course if you ever need me I’m a phone call away and if the world is ending or something I’ll be there.’ he joked – although there was an element of seriousness in his tone.

 

Owen shrugged his shoulders. ‘Ah end of the world, nothing we can’t handle.’ he replied casually.

 

Jack just laughed. ‘What about you Ianto?’ Owen asked. ‘Will you be coming back?’

 

Ianto shook his head. ‘Not for a while I’m afraid.’ he replied. ‘Though like Jack said I’m here if you ever need me; we’ve discussed this quite a lot and both of us would hate to be distant fathers, we also don’t want to risk getting a nanny or anything like that ... if anyone found out she was ours, biologically both of ours there will be serious consequences.’ he added with a slight shudder of fear.

 

Owen shook his head. ‘We won’t let anything happen to you, if anyone so much as looks at Carys oddly they’ll be retconned so far back they won’t even remember how to speak.’

 

Ianto grinned. ‘Thanks Owen.’ He smiled loving how protective their friends were of Carys

 

\---

 

Tosh, Gwen and Owen finished their coffees and then after bidding them goodbye they left – it was rather late as they’d been delayed in coming over to see them by some rogue weevils and they could see Jack and Ianto were exhausted.

 

That night when they’d settled down in bed together, Jack slid his arms around Ianto and cuddled him close. ‘I know we probably won’t have a christening or anything but I’d like to ask Tosh, Owen and Gwen to be her godparents.’

 

Ianto smiled and nodded. ‘I like that idea.’

 

Jack grinned. ‘Me too, think how much she could learn from those three. They’d be very good role models for her.’

 

Ianto laughed. ‘Owen?’ he teased.

 

‘Yes even Owen.’ Jack laughed.

 

‘I think they’ll be really pleased.’ Ianto told him. ‘Especially Gwen, she still feels so guilty about the past and I want her to know that we’ve moved on.’

 

Jack nodded. ‘She was never a threat to us Yan you know that right?’

 

Ianto turned to face him and smiled up at Jack. ‘I know.’ he replied, pressing a loving kiss to his lips. Jack’s arms folded around him and he kissed him back. One kiss turned into another, followed by another and their hands started to wander. However, their exploration was soon interrupted by Carys who’d started to cry.

 

Jack drew back and smiled down at Ianto. ‘I guess this is something we’ll have to get used to.’

 

Ianto laughed. ‘I think so!’

 

Jack slid off the bed and picked her up. ‘What’s up madam?’ he asked. ‘You’ve been fed and bathed what more do you want?’ he teased. Carys soon settled down once she was in Jack’s arms and just gazed up at him intently. ‘Oh I see! You were just jealous weren’t you? You just wanted some attention.’ he grinned.

 

Ianto watched as Jack tried to lay her back down but only to be stopped by her crying as soon as his arms left her. In the end he stood and rocked her gently until she’d fallen back to sleep before laying her back down in the cot. ‘You’re learning.’ Ianto grinned.

 

Jack smiled checking on Carys one final time before he headed back over to the bed. ‘I’ll get there.’

 

‘So where were we?’ Ianto asked with a sly grin as he pulled Jack back down on the bed beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! Hope you enjoyed. I'll post more of my Torchwood fics onto A03 soon, but if you want to check out anymore head to http://everlongsplace.livejournal.com


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